black8, in my opinion anytime a WW/WAW pushes anything that far into the future, there is a high likelihood they will not follow through on them. There are two kinds of WW/WAW spouses:
1) Those that come to you on BD and say the classic things and then say they are leaving immediately, or shortly thereafter.
2) Those that come to you on BD and say the classic things and then say they think they want to leave, but aren't sure. Or say they want to leave but need time, or give you a future move out date.
In 1, usually they follow through and you start a true separation. In 2 you start an in-house separation and the WAW/WW continues to talk (notice there is no action to back up the talk) about leaving.
The WAW/WW in 2 will also usually leave things in this limbo as long as they can. When they feel like the LBH is about to pull the trigger on booting them or moving out himself, then they start to capitulate on their decision. If they never feel like the LBH is growing close to booting or leaving, they will continue to drag the limbo out for as long as they can.
As you can see, in your position what happens is really up to you. She will continue to cake eat and delay. Fall is about as non-specific as it gets. "I am planning on us separating sometime 4 months from now, in a 3 month window? Really? Likely as the end of fall draws closer she will be verbally pushing the timeframe out, or still saying "fall" while doing nothing to move it forward.
BTW, there is much debate about whether 1 or 2 above is worse. I tend to believe 2 is worse, and have heard a lot of good arguments as to why that is.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Makes a lot of sense, Steve85. Thank you. She is definitely #2. There are some actions she said she will do after the Fall I do not see her doing. I think she is just unsure what she wants.
When WAW offers for me to stay with her family when separated, that seems more like hanging on an indecision than final decision or really wanting divorce.
You are right. So today I began staying at siblings house, and I must say, it has been easier for me to stay there than WAWs house. I just stop by WAWs house to spend time with the kids and then leave. Not reading too much into it, but WAW gave me the nicest greeting I have seen in months. Detaching and keeping distance is helping me it maybe helping things overall.
So confused again. WAW asks me for what values my retirement accounts of worth. I respectfully and lovingly decline; asking why do you need to know this now if you said you wanted a divorce anyway and youll be filing. No response. This is ripping off a bandaid slowly. Why not just file already? Too afraid to be the one to do so. Any advice and thoughts?
So confused again. WAW in email wants to know retirement account info and I respectfully decline. I ask why do she need this if she is filing anyway. No response. Any thoughts why she just does not file? It has been almost a year of separation.
