I'm more an observer than a participant in OLD. I signed up about a year ago, contacted two women, one of whom answered that she "didn't feel a vibe" and the other did nothing. I then got cold feet and set my profile to hidden.
I still get the daily emails from both match and POF and check them out. A creepy thing about small town living is seeing your neighbours on there. It has given me a perspective that perhaps most people who are "working the system" don't have though on what I at least find interesting in a profile and what is a turn-off. It also gave me a view into the huge diversity of single mature women even in my local area. Plus the two 20ish ones who mark themselves as interested in guys my age plus the two profiles that are pictures of dudes - one of whom is obviously in a hospital. WTF?
I realized tonight after reading this and then thinking while I did my dishes is that in many ways it reminds me of a cattle auction.
Lot 37 - Middle aged guy. Claims to be divorced. Looks decent in a bow tie. Has all his own teeth and lots of hair. Interested in theatre, long walks and disputing Keynesian economic theory. What are we bid on Lot 37 - lots more on the block today ladies ....
To me I hold back because once I take that step up on the auction block I feel that I would feel obligated to allow myself to go the the first bidder that hits the reserve minimum. Not too young or too old, decent looking (I'm shallow ), not too distant, and yes - female.
Maybe one day I'll unhide my profile. I might get you guys to help me tune it up first Except doodler - although I do remember the saga of "Hot Mother Theresa".
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Besides - you want to play on a team where there might possibly be some romantic prospects. And any guy with the poor judgment to be your ex's friend is NOT a qualified romantic prospect.
Lol - now I'm finding all the guys with facial hair to be a turnoff too. This is not going well!
And I'm really not liking this new OkCupid setup. I've gotten 40 likes in 24 hours but can't see who they are unless I pay. A half dozen messages (that I know of, since only see them if you roll over their profile).
And seriously - I feel like they're only showing me about 30 guys so how could I have 40 likes??? (Unless I suppose the likes are all coming from men out of my stated age range?)
Guess I may have to pay just to see what I'm missing out on.
On the plus side, I had 3 elderly female patients call me beautiful and said I have the most gorgeous eyes.
And you'll never believe this..... one patient loves to see me because he calls me his ray of sunshine because I am always smiling and I lift his mood. Me! Can you imagine that?!
I don't need to image it Ginger, it shines D from you and every word you write.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Guess I may have to pay just to see what I'm missing out on.
That's what they are hoping for! I know next to nothing about that specific service but do remember after stopping Match several years ago all of a sudden, like magic, I was supposedly getting all of these likes, winks and messages from people. They were coming hot and heavy nearly every day. It was all or mostly bogus stuff - like this person "might" be interested, etc. it was all marketing. I ignored it for a few weeks and poof, they all stopped. I then remember logging back in a few times like a year later - and what hsppened but the email notifications started up again!
It's a business and from what I've been researching is getting worse and worse. The number of people that actually find someone are so low. Several good studies show this. In fact one looked at actual data from a few services showing how few people even respond to emails. One study showed that to be 100% certain of getting at least one response you had to send something like 121 messages!!!
It was interesting reading. I should talk more about it on my thread. Then again I should do a lot of things.
Now KML are you really ready to date again? Are you in a good place for that? Turned off to all white males? What is going on there? And now facial hair? Sort of sounds like my Oreo cookie lady! (Have to visit my thread for that craziness)
You have to know how superficial this is and really based on nothing about the person you might date. It's almost like the universe telling you this is not the right time or perhaps you need some help with and to figure out why you are thinking this way. It's certainly not healthy or productive. The good thing is you see that. Now, what to do about it? Limiting yourself to any certain phisical type is not going to be healthy - which may start to explain some of the past guys?
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Don I know men don't have as much luck with online dating but as a woman I've had lovely dates and a few relationships from OLD. I get quite a few messages, and at least half the guys I message respond. I think it's just a numbers ratio thing. Also, many women have learned like I did not to respond at all to a guy you're not interested in because some get downright nasty.
The aversion to white guys just started after seeing my exH the other day - I'm sure it's just a transient thing, lol.
Facial hair's not an absolute deal breaker but most guy would look better without
I had a great weekend. I got my 3 tattoos redone and a enw addition which I am in love with. I sat for 3 hours..... but so worth it, they came out so nice. I then drove up to a friends house for a weekend and we had a great time, catching up, visiting vineyards...... Exactly what I needed.
Then I had ben talking to a guy who seemed so normal..... We were texting, we made plans for Sunday, loose, no time.... He said nothing inappropriate to me, and seemed decent.
Well, I asked him how 4pm was, it would give me enough time to get back and get ready. He told me he though we were going ot meet for lunch and that would leave him with 6 hours of nothing to do until then. Which didn't make sense, I wasn't telling him to sit there and wait for me. I figured whatever, and made other plans for myself. Then at 3pm, he told me had some drinks at home and was now available to meet at a bar down is street for 4pm. I told him I had plans already. I was pretty miffed at this point. You cancelled so you could drink alone in your apartment?!? He then begins to get a rude with me. You could tell he was kind of drunk. He was rude but still telling me I shouldn't be hasty about the day and we should still get together sometime. I told him that ship has sailed.
I knew something would come about. Seemingly normal, turns out to be nuts. It really is the land of misfits.
I ended up going to my cousins for dinner, and she had some mutual friends over and we ate and sat outside by the firepit. It was fun.
So, I did find out that yes, I can get evicted by the new tenants. But I also found out that the eviction process takes forever. My agent sent me this house that was on the market last year, got sold and flipped and is now back on the ,market. It's up the street from my current house. It is small, 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, but they did it amazing and the kitchen is beautiful. The land and deck are too. I could probably shoto a little lower because not many people want only 2 bedrooms one bath, but it is perfect for us. I am hoping to get a little luck on this one.
I can't wait to see D10 today and show her my new ink. It's for her:)
[quote=Ginger1. It really is the land of misfits. [/quote]
Yes it is...! The land of misfit toys!
I got to see it live again this weekend with a true misfit who brought his OLD "girlfriend" to the gig we were doing. I already had the sense she was not happy with this guy the last time I saw them. This time she proceeds to get drunk, I mean plastered, starts dirty dancing, by herself because he won't dance with her drunk arse, then starts screaming at him and storms outside. The event continued in the parking lot, putting on a great show for the band along with the growing crowd up against the Windows looking out to the lot. Just can't make this stuff up.
Now G I'm half giving you crap here and just being my blunt, sarcastic self but the other 50% is serious. You've tried this over and over for several years. You've said "I'm done with OLD" more times than I can count. Yet you keep going back. What's that about? I know you know the old definition of insanity - doing the same thing and expecting different results. WHY? Are you hoping that the next time will be the jackpot? That's what gambling addicts do, right? This next spin will be the big winner - they hope.
I again can only give you my expierence and I've felt much better and met more people off line. As KML said, it is easier for women to at least get a guy to chat or talk. In fact that's one of the points the articles I read talked about - how women get dozens of messages while guys get very few. There also may be more guys OLD than women but that's not always the case either. For both, the misfit level is off the charts.
If I had to guess, this guy has no life. When he said he had nothing to do for 6 hours he really meant it. He wasn't thinking he could do nothing else, it was "I have no other plans or options so I'll just sit here and drink" which is what he did. So, yep, dodged another bullet.
I really wonder how many of the good ones have been quickly driven away by all of the OLD misfits?
Google "why does online dating not work" or "the truth about on line dating" or even "why online dating sux" discard the puff pieces and read some of the science and researched-based articles. You'll soon be saying OMG that's exactly what happened to me!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Don, I guess the answer is I keep trying because I do see other people have had good luck and I figure I should be able to also.
I also see that nothing has worked "as it should" for me, so perhaps this is another cheeseless tunnel. I would hate to say I am going to complain about being lonely and wanting a partner, yet I have no right to complain if I am going to do nothing about it.
I guess I am just stubborn and I hope for similar results as those who were successful.
Oh, and exNG got engaged! He won't let her move in with him, but they are engaged to be married. I thought it might upset me, but it didn't at all. I pretty much predict the other 2 guys who are dating the ones who came right after me will be engaged in the next 6 months.
maybe my purpose is to set a guy up for the next one he wants to spend his life with. HAHA!
Right now I am just getting too excited to see this house. It's so cute. I can see my pug running through the very nice yard.
I swear we are cut from the same cloth, G. I think that every time I read more of your posts. I, too, wonder why I don't find happiness or good luck or whatever that others seem to just have heaped upon them.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my life in general, but I'm tired of being single and alone. I THINK (and maybe this is part of the problem) that I have all those qualities that mature men purport to want: I'm financially independent, self-reliant, fairly intelligent and have a good sense of humor and a very good sense of self. I'm not looking for someone to pay my bills or to take care of me because I'm not able to do so emotionally or mentally. So, what's the problem? I'm not packaged in the trophy wife case but other than that, I clean up pretty well and have manners, know how to dress myself and tie my own shoes.
I really hope that you find what you are looking for. It gets disheartening to keep hitting a brick wall and for people to keep saying "oh but your time is coming" or some other super well-meaning thing like that. So, I won't say that. I just hope you find what you are looking for.
Oh and the house sounds fantastic, so good luck with that!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
), not too distant, and yes - female.
Except doodler - although I do remember the saga of "Hot Mother Theresa".