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WillDo Offline OP
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Witness one more thing. A pregnacy test


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Oct 2014
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WillDo Offline OP
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I know she was out with OM last night. I snooped. Shouldnt have. My therapist is really on my side now. He also suggested me not to snoop. He asked how he can trust me. I told him though he shouldnt. But I found other things to focus on. Yes now wrtiting this message but at ease a bit. Read again their conversations deom 4 years back. I think the therapist wanted me to delete those and never mentiin it to my wife. Ok I wont. I would say I feel she has been unfaithful. I read my journal from 4 years back. There are notes that she openly denies an affair. Lies lies everywhere. Last night in her conversation she mentions how she would be in trouble about what she is doing. of course OM engourages the opposite.

God possibly sent the conversations at a better time. Wanted me to accept what is going on. I think I did and hence did the changes but my spirit wouldnt have been able to handle the full extend of the conversations back then.

The affair is out there again and I pray for pafience.


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Nov 2014
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Willdo, we are in a similar boat, in house and BD at almost the same exact time. I used to snoop. One snoop was the day I came home from a mastectomy and saw texts where he called OW "my secret other wife." He had been so scared when I was on operating table that he contacted her and she was comforting him that I would be okay!!! Then the A continued after that until recently, if it isn't still going on.

I tell you that just to point out to you that whatever is happening is going to be as repulsive and horrifying as it can get, and looking at it is not going to change anything. I would feel my whole body go into shock and be sick for days when I snooped. When I chose to give it to God and just not look anymore, I felt peace. Sometimes the panic hits me and I have struggled, but I assure you that if you start thinking of your temptation to look as the darkness winning, you can begin to do proper battle. I think because you mentioned God you may be standing through faith, and if so, remember that the devil is the one who is tempting you to look. God just wants you to trust Him. The despair you feel when you look is not from God. Every time you want to snoop, you can just say, "Not today, Satan!" or whatever you come up with and then blast some praise music or if you are not into that, force yourself to do something else that is positive and beautiful, even if it's just cleaning out a cabinet but maybe even doing something nice for a neighbor. Over time you will not want to snoop as much. Tim Keller has a great sermon on how having faith in God's judgement is the only way you can possibly forgive; if you can find it, I think it will give you some light! Do you get the Charlyne cares e-mails? Those help me a lot too, especially when I am lonely. If you are a person of faith, ask your pastor to help you find a prayer partner, maybe an elder with a restored marriage. Please know that I know just exactly how you feel! You are not alone!


I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
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Verda thank you for your sweet words.

I will apply these when the urges kicks in.

Once I read the undiluted recently from some messages my sense of trust has collapsed. On top of that I see colognes at work showing untrustful behaviour including my boss. He cut 40% of my bonus. I feel betrayal on every level hence the urges came back. My journey is now to regain trust me in myself.


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
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WillDo Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2014
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Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
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WillDo Offline OP
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oh really post didnt work! simply we argued and she naaid she felt bad. She sees me after her money. I am wishing the best


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
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WillDo Offline OP
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Patience and silence. All I am trying to do is Save My Marriage.


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,437
Likes: 12
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I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 284
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WillDo Offline OP
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something is wrong. I dont see forum updates. entries are blank


Me: 43, W: 43
M: 16, T: 18
D - 7, D - 7
ILUB: 26 August 2014
Still living together
Joined: Jan 2000
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job Offline
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Will,

You've not been around much in the last 4-5 weeks. The forum is experiencing a glitch, i.e., which creates missing postings. We are trying different things. I would suggest that you not use quotes, numbers, hashtags or any type of characters which posting. Also, if you should post something and it doesn't appear, go to the quick quote box, click on it and remove the quotes and then hit submit.

Unfortunately, the moderators can offer suggestions as this is an IT matter at the main location of the business.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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