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Gord, which was interesting...that she offered or that I accepted? Funny!


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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I find both interesting

I do not get the dynamic with you and xw

Hard to tell from internet posts

Easier to understand over drinks


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
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How is it going

End of school activities

Summer plans

Grilling frozen venison

How are kids


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
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Here's your answer Gordie.
How is it going?
I guess I can answer that with a hefty...as well as can be expected. None of us ever thought or wanted to be in this predicament, but here we are. I'm keeping my self busy and it seems that I have now become the go to guy for many of my friends as they have also been forced down the road to divorce. over the last several months I have had 3 friends reach out and ask me how I have kept it together so well. That has surprised me since I thought I had completely lost it at times.

End of school activities?
Not sure about it...we have a sick dog and might have to stay in town instead of heading out of town to Big D with the rest of my family.

Summer plans?
My kids have activities all summer so this one might be low key with several "staycations" thrown in. I always like to keep them and their friends close and will cook and serve them all by the pool all summer if that is what it takes.

Grilling frozen venison?
I'm definitely trying to dwindle to venison down. I'm all out of the backstrap (my fave) and we are mostly down to link sausage now. Had it for breakfast today as a matter of fact. If I had your address I'd send you some. I can't wait to finish rehabbing my shoulder so I can start shooting my bow again. I'm itching to get back into the woods. Channeling my inner Thoreau.

How are kids?
S20...college senior that is ready to graduate and begin grad school. He is following in the family footsteps and will come to work with us when finished.
D16...just began to drive and has moved into my Jeep. I have had to purchase a new to me used car. She is the dancer/performer/artist and has 4 camps all summer long.
S11...big guy ready for the summer. Today is his last day and he is ready to stay semi-dark and indoors. We have to force him outside for some vitamin D...he calls it vitamin death. fair hair and fair skinned, but he is and has become even more of a lovable young man.

How am I?
Had the shoulder surgery 3 weeks ago.
The ex took care of me all that day...weird I know, but whatever.
Surgery wasn't as bad as it was thought so I was able to begin light rehab last week. It's going well. 90-95% mobility, but still has some soreness.
I took a road trip in my new convertible this past weekend and enjoyed a winery/distillery and a couple of breweries in NETX. My youngest brother and I had a blast, but I'm kind of sunburned.
I just began a men's retreat formation that will be in August which is full of like-minded, faith-filled men that keep me grounded and focused on God and His will for us. It is awesome.
I lead another men's group thru our church and we meet every week for faith/life sharing. It is good to get a group of guys together and give each other encouragement each week.
I'm about to sign up for the DFW Tough Mudder with a group of friends in late September. I'm oddly excited about training for that and having an end goal...not just for health/wightloss.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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Posts: 875
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Truth Dart Journaling:

Ex: texted this morning that a distant family member had died. His WAS/MLC'er had left him and their son years ago and remarried, but pretty much had disowned the son.

EX: she was surprised how the son is now basically parent-less and it's very sad.

me: I said it was a shame how she could just up and leave like that.

ex: I know. I can't even imagine.

Me: totally selfish

ex: selfish and unimaginable. I don't know how you can just stop loving your child.

me: she is totally lost in a selfish quest for a perfect relationship. Perfection is unattainable. We should completely love those and be happy with those that God gave us. People that love us unconditionally.

ex: I don't know why that relationship can't include her child though.

I guess she doesn't see a correlation to her behavior since she is super mom. Weird. Half baked/twice baked/raw in the middle. Maybe we will never know. It is odd how some things seem so clear to us at times, but at others they are way too cloudy.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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My own opinion is that they are at least part vampire and can't see their own reflection. But rather perhaps the reflection of their own internal narrative.

Mine went on a rant once about how loyal she was and how supportive of those in need - This while the weight was falling off of me like water while she gloried in the excitement of her secret affair and how she was "getting away with it" with the support of so many of her friends (most of whom have abandoned her now).

She also complained about her own rapid weight loss due to not having an appetite due to depression. While eating an extra large double-scoop ice cream cone in a waffle sugar cone.

You can't make this stuff up.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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SBJ

You do sound like you are doing well all things considered

Hope the shoulder recovery goes well

Assume you will have some weeks of physical therapy

It is a physical pain to go but have found it really works if done well

I wish i had a good mens group

Makes me think i should look harder

Now i want some venison sausage

Re your ex and her thoughts

Agree with AndrewP that there is no self awareness

I have had similar conversations with w and her being upset about how some cheating H is hurting her friend

No ability to connnect that to our own situation

Really head shaking

So glad the kids are well

I love 11

Such a great age before those teen issues kick in

And yes live when the kids and friends hang at our house

Can I hang by your pool and eat burgers too


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
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AP and Gord,
No we can not make this crap up. It is batchitcrazy for sure, but at some point it goes from hurt, to simply not my circus not my monkey. I love her with all my heart and the fixer in me wishes I could help, but all of you guys and gals on hear have taught me that we can't fix them.

I have found that music helps me when I'm feeling down. I listen to it, but I am also trying to play and learn more on my guitar. It feels good to be learning and making progress. I've also pulled my sax out that has been sitting idle for some 30 years. It is entertaining.

As far as the pool and the burgers...yes, there is an open invite to anyone that wants to travel to my neck of the woods. Unfortunately nobody does. This is considered one of the worst places to live in the US. I love it though. We are an hour from the coast, right on a river, not far from prime deer country, and a hop skip and a jump away from cajun country. What's not to love.

Gordie if there were a way on here for me to get your address I'd send you some venison for sure. I did some smoked sausage, italian sausage, boudin, and some maple patty this year. We are already out of the ground and whole cuts. It seems to go fast.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 136
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SBJ, I'm not familiar with your sitch, I just read your last post and could relate with what you said about music and playing the guitar. Playing guitar/singing may have very well saved my life during my crisis, my W too went through/is still in coming out of a MLC... it is brutal to watch and endure as a S. When I couldn't sleep - I played, when I heard a song that related to my sitch - I sat down and learned/played it, when I heard a song that made me optimistic... and so on. At first they were mostly songs about lost love, as I slowly detached the were songs about triumphs after a broken heart... some were even somewhat of a screw you to the one who tore my heart apart (for example: check out the song "Dead Man" by the band Cross Canadian Ragweed... I remember the way I felt when playing it for the first few times... I thought to myself - "boy I wish she could be here to listen to this").

If you have not already used "riff station" on line, I would highly recommend it... they are offering a free download right now as the normal site is down. It takes any song and translates the chords for you and rotates them on screen as the song is playing. I just found it a few months ago and am highly impressed with it, you tube has demos on how to use it.

Wishing you the best


The sun still rises, even though the pain.

Married: 10 Together: 17
M:40 W:37
D:13, S 7, S:5
1st Bomb dropped: 4/20/17 2nd Bomb dropped: 6/6/17
Separated: 7/26/17
W moved back home: 12/1/17
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SBJ, someday may you find the humor (albeit dark humor) in that conversation you posted.

Clueless.

I love that you're learning the guitar. Me too. Set up a barter with a buddy and my gift is guitar lessons. I'm very very excited.

xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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