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OrangeK Offline OP
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Do you think having requested to extend it will make her look bad?

I never put her in danger and she certainly cant prove that I did, so she just looks petty and manipulative IMO.
Im not a judge so i dont know how they weight these things.

I just hope to all hell she makes a fool of herself.

She was supposed to have presented me with copies of all her paperwork, She hasnt yet.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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I don't know about all that....it will just depend on the judge and how he views the situation. That is why it is imperative that you have all of your ducks in a row, that your organized and have completed all of your responsibilities to present yourself in the best positive light.

My guess is the TRO will come up but I have no clue how much it will factor in on the decision.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Calmed down a bit after yesterdays mania over child support $$$. I guess i was jumping the gun, i havent had my hearing yet. Anything could happen, for a ll i know i could walk out of court skipping and happy on Tuesday. I need to stop getting myself worked up over things that havent happened yet, and may not.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,920
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Yes, it's good to have a game plan, but don't borrow problems from the future.. Be ready and prepared. Get professional advice if possible. It's okay to be anxious - you're human.


No one is coming to save you!

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OrangeK Offline OP
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I wish i could afford for a lawyer to look at all this.
I know this hearing on Tuesday is just the first step of many, Im just freaked because if i get hit with $500 a month in child support im gonna be porked.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Damn, Loneliness is a thing for sure last few days.
Its all the small things you end up missing.
Watching her get ready in the morning.
Her cooking.
Inside jokes.
backrubs (this was a special thing)
watching our son sleep from the doorway to his room together.
Snuggling as a whole family in bed on Sundays then getting up to make them breakfast.
Wine and Steak Fridays.

Really blows to think these were all faked.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Well i am hoping for a quick week to go by so i can get my little mini vacation. Feeling a lot better now than this morning.
I guess i just hit spots of missing not being alone, and the lingering addiction to when i thought i was in a great R.
She really did an amazing job of pretending to be happy for a long time, and made me very happy in turn.

I cant really imagine that it was 100% fabricated on her end as far as emotion goes, but it still doesn't excuse her actions leading up to the affair, at all.

Its just so disappointing, but i have a date next week and im feeling good about that.

Onward and Upward!


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Sandi or Vanilla

What about indifference seems to trigger pause in the WW?
What is it about the scenario that they have moved on or that their LBH has done so that causes them to start to have 2nd thoughts?

I have this feeling WW is so self absorbed and arrogant (although quietly, if you met her, youd think she was a humble sweetie pie, for a while)
that she is expecting that i will continue to be infatuated with her, which i feel is part of the reason she discards in the way she does, so if she ever decides to go back, that person (EX, OM, Me, whoever) is so happy and excited to hear from her that she can throw the hooks right back in.

As Sandi mentioned, when I am in a new R or she has married OM or someone else, that i could see this happen.
again - NOT HOPING FOR IT.
Just planning for it if it happens, i want to build my resolve so if and when it does, i will be able to resist it and think logically not emotionally or "as a man would".


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Feeling better prepped for divorce hearing on Tuesday. I have thought up some good points to make in regards to not getting stuck with child support.

We have been splitting all expenses 50/50 since October,
She lives with her mom and doesnt pay rent, and because of the TRO her mother is doing all the driving for S3 so thats much less WW is spending on gas.

I however am paying rent to live where I do, i pay my half of daycare, plus all the gas to drive around for S3. I buy my own groceries for him, diapers/wipes, toys, clothes and so on. I really see no reason we should have to pay eachother anything, i dont want her money and she doesnt need or deserve mine. None of the money i would send her would go to S3 anyway, just in her pocket.

If i get an unfavorable setup, i will just contest it, and not sign agreement until it is fair. If i get court ordered stipulations i dont agree with, i will just appeal until the cows come home.


Emotionally, i have felt better the last few days.
I think the apathy / indifference about WW is starting to set in. I think about her a lot less than i used to, i haven't gotten the "twisty stomach" or increased heart rate when ive thought about her, or her and OM at all. My body is not reacting to that mental stimuli anymore like it used to.

I noticed for a long time i was comparing other women to WW and saying "no, they are not as attractive, nice, funny etc."
now i see her for what she truly is, and it makes her so UN-attractive to me, and im not comparing other women to her anymore, now i see redeeming qualities in other women and it interests me.
Its still a bit foggy and confused, but i really feel like my deep rooted emotions are catching up with my logical thoughts finally.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 953
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OrangeK,

I havent posted on your thread before, but I have been following it. It sounds like you are finally starting to really detach from what appears to be a very toxic person. Congrats on getting this far!


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019
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