I'm also afraid that I'm going to become the "mean" parent. When they are with me, they have to follow rules, pick up after themselves, eat normal dinners, take baths & brush their teeth. All normal things that kids should do to learn to be normal, functioning adults. When they are with her, I'm afraid it's going to be all ice cream and fun time with no responsibility. I mean, what kid between the ages of 3 and 9 wouldn't choose candy for dinner in front of the TV instead of eating a well balanced meal at a table before having to bathe and brush their teeth?...
I worry about this too. Right now WW and OM are acting as the "Disney Parents". Taking him to all sorts of fun and cool activities i cannot afford. Its all false though, they cant buy the love, or affection of the child. At the end of the day they will know the difference between purchased affection and real support and love. Another "Marathon not a sprint" Situation Bear this in mind, by trying to buy their love, they are manipulating the pliable little minds of their own children, what kind of mother does that just to try and one up the person they once claimed to love, and devalue them in the eyes of their own children?
Phukk that noise MTB. We'll rise above that petty $hi7.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
mtb- I feel where you are coming from with the kids.As you already know from my stich my S15 is soo hurting because his mom packed up and left today. He said he's too broken to go to school. I think we as dads need to try and facilitate a relationship because at some point in life they will need their mom for something. I feel there will be pretty big hole there from the abandonment issue. I just hope they can all heal from this properly. Blessings my friend!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
mtb- I feel where you are coming from with the kids.As you already know from my stich my S15 is soo hurting because his mom packed up and left today. He said he's too broken to go to school. I think we as dads need to try and facilitate a relationship because at some point in life they will need their mom for something. I feel there will be pretty big hole there from the abandonment issue. I just hope they can all heal from this properly. Blessings my friend!
I agree with the hole from the abandonment issue. Weird thing is, my wife has always complained about how her mom was never around when she was growing up and it has caused her a lot of issues. MIL got a job at a bar when W was about 9 or 10 and left her and her brother at home with stepdad number one for days at a time. She still hasn't forgiven her mother for doing this. Now she's doing the same thing to her own kids. It blows my mind...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
WTF!!! It just keeps getting weirder and weirder. W called and said she wanted to come by and see the kids for a bit and I told her that was fine. When she got here, she asked if I was at her house on Sunday night. I told her no. She said that someone came into her house and took a video on her phone of her sleeping with the caption "She always did like to sleep with her head covered. Too bad her protector isn't here to save her," and sent it to OM. She thinks it was me. She called the cops the next morning to file a complaint and told them she thought it might have been me. When they asked if she wanted them to come talk to me, she told them no. I was at home with the kids. Keep in mind this happened at 3:30 in the morning. I had to be up for work in a few hours, and besides that, how stupid would I have to be to break into her house and take a video of her while leaving the kids at home by themselves chancing to get arrested. She also claimed that she heard I had the cops called on me at the workplace of OM. I quit going there onve I figured outthey were hooking up. I have 2 theories of what happened.
1) OM went in and made the video and sent it to himself to try to make me look bad. She claims that it wasn't him because he had a girl over at his house that night (she still denies having a relationship with him) and that something "he wouldn't just do". The caption to the video was similar to the texts he sent me a couple weeks ago accusing me of be abusive to her. The only thing I responded to hin was that she was his problem now...
2) She took the video herself and sent it to him trying to make me look bad in the eyes of the law by calling them the next morning and saying it was me. I asked her if she had the video and she said no, she only had a screenshot of the caption. The screenshot of the video was all black with just the caption. OM was the one that sent her the screenshot. They could be in cahoots to try to male me out to be crazy.
I told her it had to be one of her "friends" because anyone I hang out with wouldn't even think of doing something like that. She claims her house was locked and her phone is password protected (I don't even know the password) And it has to be someone that's trying to stir $hit between her and me. When I offered both of the above options to her, she stuck up for OM and said that he wouldn't do that because he has nothing to gain becvause they're "just friends" and why would he want to scare her into wanting to stay at his house to fell safe. (Well, duh?!?!?!) When I brought up the other option I told her, "Well, I sure hope this isn't true, but you could have taken the video to try to make me look bad and have a reason to call the cops and have my name on record as being a possibility". When I said that, she got really defensive and said she wasn't that crazy. Seemed offended that I would even think of that as a possibility. With that, she decided it was time for her to leave.
I'm thinking this might be they're way of retaliating for my dad calling CEFS. Which she didn't even bring up at all. I thought for sure she would want to confront me about that, but it wasn't even mentioned.
And to top it off, as she was leaving, she stopped, turned around and asked me ,"Do you think you could give me $30 for gas money?".... Uh, no...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
I just talked to my friend that is the head chef at the brewery OM works at and asked him if he knew anything about the cops being called there about me. He said no, but the brewmaster is friends with a local cop that said the cops have been called the past 2 nights about a guy fitting my description trying to break into W's house. I have a strong feeling there is a smear campaign going on trying to make me look bad...
Shortly after I got off the phone with him, W called. She wanted me to sign over the lease to the van. I told her I wasn't going to do that. She could wait until we go to court. I also asked her about the calls about someone trying to break in her house. She said the neighbors called the cops and the cops called her. I asked her why she didn't mention it earlier. She said she didn't know. It seems fishy to me. Accuses me of breaking in and videoing her on Sunday, but doesn't mention the 2 calls on Tuesday and Wednesday? This is messed up. She's trying to make me look bad for some reason. I'm meeting with my lawyer and the city cops tomorrow to figure out what i can do to take care of this situation...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Wow.....that is crazy. However, these two idiots will make a mistake and give themselves away. No way are they smart enough to pull something like this off. All I can say is to make sure you do not give them any ammo! You need to be exemplary in your words and deeds. I'd put nothing past them, including trying to set you up for domestic abuse.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
On my way to meet with L and file for D. This has become ridiculous. Time to move on...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Careful you may be set up. OK, seen this before, keep a detailed track of your whereabouts, also use your phone, it leaves a trail of your location.
If you are home make a call to a friend every two or three hours using a landline which keeps a log of calls in and out ask them to ring you back. Park your vehicle in a visible location and buy petrol close to your home.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Careful you may be set up. OK, seen this before, keep a detailed track of your whereabouts, also use your phone, it leaves a trail of your location.
If you are home make a call to a friend every two or three hours using a landline which keeps a log of calls in and out ask them to ring you back. Park your vehicle in a visible location and buy petrol close to your home.
V
Thank you for the advice. That was one of my main concerns. Being at home with the kids all the time makes it hard to have an alibi. I'm home with them by myself, so there is really no one to validate my whereabouts. Especially at 2 and 3 in the morning when these things are supposedly happening. I'm asleep! As fasr as having a landline, I don't have one, so unfortunately that is not an option. But I will be using my cellphone periodically to have a record of where I've been...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
On my way to meet with L and file for D. This has become ridiculous. Time to move on...
Yea id Agree MTB, youve put up with enough. When the WW starts accusing you of crimes its time to cut the ties and move on. Shes trying to destroy your life, i know the fun that can cause, GTFO before she can land any charges on you.
Protect yourself and get yourself situation to prove your innocence beyond a doubt. I wish I had done that, paying for it now.
The D process is its own monster, but if you file first at least youll be holding the steering wheel.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
