5 more days of school left until summer break. Not sure if being at home with the kids and not having to be at work is going to make this journey easier or more difficult. All I know is that I am in a much better place mentally than I was a month ago. The first month after BD seemed like a year. The past month has flown by. I finally feel like I've reached a place where I've let go of W. She can run around with OM and do whatever she wants. It used to be on my mind constantly. When confronted, she would lie and deny. I finally gathered enough intel that gave me the truth. And once I did, I was able to let go. In my gut I always knew it was happening, but sometimes you just need proof. My focus this summer is to become the best version of me I can and focus on my happiness and the happiness of my kids...
My advice to any newbies is to listen to what you read here. At first I thought my sitch was different. It wasn't. I trusted my W when she said she wasnt cheating. She was. I was told not to pursue. I did. In the beginning everything is a blur, and we all want to fix things as quickly as we can. As cliche as it sounds around here, it is a marathon, not a sprint. BE PATIENT. I cannot stress this enough. Good luck to everyone on the board. We will all come out of this as better people. I truly believe that...
Last edited by Cadet; 05/15/1802:06 AM. Reason: restored post
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Stop using contractions and words like cliche (special e)so your posts will not disappear
Thanks, Cadet. I've had a few disappearing post from using my phone, but I've never experienced an issue on a PC. This was the first time. Again, thank you for the tip and restoring the post...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Only 5 days left! You are so lucky! I have to suffer through 3 more weeks until my summer vacation! Enjoy the break. You deserve it!
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
Only 5 days left! You are so lucky! I have to suffer through 3 more weeks until my summer vacation! Enjoy the break. You deserve it!
Thanks. I'm looking forward to it. Since W left, I've had the kids full time with no help. It will be nice to get up in the morning and not have to rush around getting 3 kids ready for school and daycare. I've got a lot of things around the house that I need to get done too, so I'll finally have the time to take care of them. And don't forget about fun GAL activities with the kids. We plan on going to the zoo next weekend, the beach in a few weeks, and maybe even a little mini-vacation somewhere down the line. Park district baseball for S8 and softball for D9 just started too, so we'll have plenty of things to keep us busy...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
As expected, I got a text from W. At the end of my last thread, I posted about my dad calling CEFS telling them that W was lying on her application for rental assistance. Apparently, they said something to her about it. The text basically said, "Whay are you messing with me? I know you hate me, but trying to get me kicked out of my place is a new low". First, I didn't do anything. Second, I had no idea my dad was going to do anything like that. So I don't see how it's my problem or why it concerns me. I don't plan onm responding to the text, because she's just looking for a fight, and I feel as though I don't need to explain anything to her regarding this situation. I'm sure she'll track me down eventually and want to make a big deal out of it though...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
W just tried calling. I didn't answer. Today is one of those days I wish I didn't have to deal with this stuff. That she would just snap out of the waywardness. But we all know that's not gonna happen for a long time if ever. I'm so over everything "being my fault", because it's not. Time to go back and re-read the detachment threads...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
Exact. Detach and patience. It is no easy but you must do that.
Stay strong.
Thanks. Some days are easier than others. That's for sure...
I was also wondering if I should respond to the text about her blaming me for CEFS questioning her about lying on her application. Part of me thinks I should just not respond and keep NC, and another part of me feels like I should respond because not responding will make her think that I was the one who turned her in. I'm leaning towards the no response, but any input or advice would be appreciated...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
