Afraid of the dark

[Ste7e]

Argh disappearing posts on phone

[Cadet]

Argh disappearing posts on phone

Stop using contractions

[Ste7e]

Ok so WW finally contacted me about if she could see the pets tonight
I have not responded yet
I assume I should say yes and not be at the house when she comes

[Davide]

Depends. If it doesn't fit your schedule, don't go out of your way to accommodate her. But, yeah, if she comes over I would clear out.

[Ste7e]

Yeah it works with my schedule
How friendly should I be in the text reply or just logistical

[Davide]

I am always friendly in my text replies, but short. "Sure, come by at 8" or something like that. Don't try to extend it to engage her.

[Ste7e]

Went the friendly response text route
Got a friendly reply text 5 hours later
I was out when she came by business as usual
Weighed myself lost 5 more lbs
Been feeling much better last few days

[Ste7e]

Saw my new shrink yesterday he made a really insightful observation about my life that I appeared to be the victim of neglect in all my relationships
I never considered the concept of neglect and it really hit home

[Davide]

Good stuff Ste7e!

Keep working with the IC and on yourself. I have found that there is so much for me to work on independent of the relationship. There is so much room for growth in all of us. I guess that is what they mean by the "gift of time." It is such a great opportunity to make lasting improvements. The only caution I would have is with falling into a "victim" mentality. If I have learned anything over the past 6 weeks it is that I am far stronger than I ever knew. I felt like a victim before, but that was because I consciously or unconsciously gave up my own power. You are stronger than you think as well.

[Ste7e]

I am very aware of the victim mentality and its negative effects
But as I have been taking so much self accountability and blame on it was helpful to distribute that load and make some sense of a why