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Originally Posted By: ovrrnbw
I feel like GAL is going to help no matter what. Is this plus stop pursuing the only way to end the EA?


Still the wrong question. The only thing that can end the EA is one or both the parties in the EA wanting to end it.

GAL and not pursuing give her the best chance of waking up and ending it but is not a guarantee.


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ovrrnbw Offline OP
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Well hopefully it will come to a head. That's why Im not putsuing, right? It's not like the EA is going anywhere. WAS's family would never accept this person, especially given the situation.


H 34
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It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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ovrrnbw Offline OP
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And by "its not like the EA is going anywhere", I mean there's little chance that it would be lasting bc of her family orientation.

But there's that saying about assumptions. ..


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It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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I second what Steve said..you need to GAL, not in hopes that it will bring your wife back but to find yourself. Concern yourself not with the EA, if it does end, what is to say she won t jump to another? Your wife really does not care what the family thinks, she is not thinking clearly. She will do what she wants. Make no assumptions or attempts at mind reading. The only thing that will save us LBS is GaL and being the best we can be to come out of this stronger and more confident. This is the only way that WAW may want to come back, but it shouldn t be your sole purpose for doing so.

Figured out how to re-store

Last edited by Cadet; 05/10/18 02:05 AM.

M:26 WAW:26
T:11 M:7
D:3
BD 1 10/16
I love you but not in love
BD 2 2/18
I love you but...
W moves out 3/18
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ovrrnbw Offline OP
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Thanks for the response. Maybe had a bit of progress this morning. WAS actually called her folks to tell on me for taking a vehicle without asking. She says it's not that I took it but that I didn't tell her. Well, last time I asked she said no. Now that I have balls again I just took it. It's our car. But she says she had stuff in there she needed. Apparently that is sunglasses and lipstick.

I think her talking to her folks in any capacity is a good thing. We went from seeing them 1-3 days a week to 0. She asked her mom to meet her to get her wallet back last week instead of just goin to get it.

She questioned me on where I was going and with who, didn't believe I was going by myself, and questoned where I was last night. GAL, that's where.

She thinks I'm ignoring her bc I don't respond quicky to her texts and don't answer every call. She asked if I was ready to sign papers and I think it surprised her when I said my position has not changed.

My MIL was mad, said I was playing a game by not telling WAW I'd be taking the vehicle, but she only knows part of the story and said that I have to take WAW's crap bc I was an ass (she's referring to my verbal abuse). I responded that I'm tired of feeling disrespected.

Anyways probably need to limit my contact there. My therapist said to talk to them for my sanity and help for me, but leave out ugly details. Basically don't run and tell.


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It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Originally Posted By: ovrrnbw
Well hopefully it will come to a head. That's why Im not putsuing, right? It's not like the EA is going anywhere. WAS's family would never accept this person, especially given the situation.


You are probably right that it will go no where, but I trust me, it isn't for reason 2. Wayward wives care about no one but themselves. My sister ended up married to a guy that my family never accepted. More than likely it won't go anywhere because those things that are planted in bad soil usually do not live long.


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I really think I am holding out hope that she'll see the proverbal light. I'm using this weekend to sink further into my own changes and recommit to that front.

I just realized this when reading p 149.


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It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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ovrrnbw Offline OP
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Is being the "old me" and making her breakfast or a coffee too much like pursuit right now? I think I am ahead of myself. I'm reading Chapter 9-Pulling it All Together.


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Yes,

Making her breakfast will come off like pursuit at the moment.


M:37 W:37
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S17, S13, S10, S4
BD:06/28/17
OM confirmed 07/20/17
Recon the M 10/29/17
Working hard:2gether

Onward and forward

This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
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ovrrnbw Offline OP
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Thanks Joejoe. What's your take on my loner winded post above (from today)?


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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