Id take those dishes load them in a trash bag and throw them away. Then I kick her out of the house like NOW! Let her go live in her new found loves apartment.
Take back your dignity!!
Me: 39 W: 38 S: 15 D: 12 D: 6 BD 8/15 NEED SPACE S 2/16 Divorced 4/17 and loving it, waw came back 12/17.....I declined
Id take those dishes load them in a trash bag and throw them away. Then I kick her out of the house like NOW! Let her go live in her new found loves apartment.
Take back your dignity!!
Is this going to bring her back to MR? I'd lie to hear other people comment on this advice pls.
Thanks for all replies.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
"Or is she testing me to see if I'll complain and make a stink over it? I certainly would have 6 months ago."
This. When you 180 and start making positive changes, your wife won't trust them. She will test it to see. My wife has, in my opinion, done various things purposely to see if I would get hyper-critical and verbally degrading again.
Consistency is the key. For me it was either complain or do them myself. I haven't always done the latter, but I've been consistent in NOT doing the former. I was the same way. I'd point out everything that hadn't been getting done around the house. The few weeks before BD she had just shutdown and no longer cared when I was being passive-aggressive about it (loudly doing what needed to be done even complaining as I did it ("I'm the only one that sweeps this floor!" "Apparently no one else cares if every last dish is dirty and sitting in the sink!").
Others will tell you no, you shouldn't do it. My opinion is that if I want something done I should do it myself. This doesn't mean everything though. For instance, I don't touch her office which is a disaster, etc. But yeah, I'll do the dishes no matter who was responsible for leaving them there.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Id take those dishes load them in a trash bag and throw them away. Then I kick her out of the house like NOW! Let her go live in her new found loves apartment.
Take back your dignity!!
Is this going to bring her back to MR? I'd lie to hear other people comment on this advice pls.
Thanks for all replies.
There are no guarantees no matter what you do. Maybe what is being suggested here will snap her out of it. Maybe it won't. The point endofit was making is that you do that for you. Notice the "take back your dignity". The idea is that you do things to get your swagger back. She may stay, she may leave, but either way you will have that swagger that you used to have.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I feel like GAL is going to help no matter what. Is this plus stop pursuing the only way to end the EA?
I'm not touching the dishes. I can't kick her out of the house, it's jointly owned. But I'm thinking about parking my butt in my normal bed and leaving it there. The EA is still ongoing, and even though this BD was due largely to me, this is getting out of hand with the EA. Maybe this isn't the best thing to end the EA, but you all chime in.
After realizing I can't control her last Friday, I have felt better and have been focusing on myself. Thanks for all replies you guys.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
