AS, I think you're right. if she would have wanted direct contact she would have reached out. She thinks this will make me react, which I haven't done yet.
AS- How is this punishing me? By making me worry about her? Or by trying to get me to reach out and not responding?
I'm definitely not going to beg and plead. I just wanted to address it. I'm going to hold off for now because you've given me a lot of great advice both this time and last and I trust your opinion.
I'm just curious to know why addressing it and saying I noticed the charge and I hope everything is OK is a bad move. Especially if she feels like I don't support her.
Also, whqts the game plan if she calls me out on it? Something like "good to know you dont care about me when I get hurt/sick" whatever the visit was. Do I ignore it? Play dumb?
AS- How is this punishing me? By making me worry about her? Or by trying to get me to reach out and not responding?
I can't say for sure what she's thinking, but given what you said- that she knows she can pay for it herself or use insurance and get the care for no cost, but instead chose to make you pay for it, I think it's as simple as that- she's blowing money unnecessarily just to be mean to you. I mean that is consistent with her other recent actions. She leaves without warning AND takes all the pets. That's vindictive behavior. And this is too.
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I'm just curious to know why addressing it and saying I noticed the charge and I hope everything is OK is a bad move. Especially if she feels like I don't support her.
I'm not saying it's a bad move so much, just an unnecessary move. It's making contact when you should be staying away. You're allowing her to draw on your money and pay personal bills and you are not complaining or asking why, right? Is that not a 180 for you? Are you not supporting her by doing that? And supporting her without complaint? But if you say something, even if it's supportive, she is likely to think "yup, just what I thought, I knew he wouldn't let this go without saying something, he will never change." You follow what I'm saying? She'll just see it as a passive/aggressive move.
^^^Totally agree with Maika^^^ Granted if she does reach out to you she will put negative spin on anything and everything you've done, so just expect it and let it roll off of you like water splashed upon a mighty boulder. RAWS the Boulder, picture that image when she's trying to shake you up
You are not gonna be able to win with people like that because they will twist anything you do to justify their actions.
Your basically damned if you do...
That's why, you need to detach and work in your best interest. If shes gonna waste your money like that, you need to figure out the legal way of protecting it.
Everything right now need a to be about you. If they want to come back thwy will move heaven and earth to do so. Your marriage wont have a chance unless they do anuhow.
