still holding strong with my day to day activities. I have a meeting scheduled scheduled with a sex therapist and i think he has a fair idea of whats going on with myself. He wanted to have a session with both me and my wife. Unfortunately since she isn't available i am going there alone myself.
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
Update on my issue - I had a session with a sex therapist. He mentioned that rapid ejaculation issue that I have is curable however requires that my wife also be present. Unfortunately i am in No contact with my wife and calling her for a session now is somewhat like pursuing her. So i am planning to do it alone. Since my wife bought dilators, the doctor is suspecting it to br vaginismus. No wonder why i was finding it hard to penetrate her. It was a like brick wall. I could hardly have an open dialogue with my wife as well since even she is quite shy. The doc even sent me a case study of how a couple with vaginismus who never consummated marraige for 7 years were cured. According to him in my case i have been able to consummate in a way.
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
Update on My issue - wife called me and let me know that she has submitted the disolution of marraige papers from her end to the attorney. She said she has my papers in her hand and will give it to me. She said she was not in a haste to have this done. She was very emotional and upset saying that this marraige has no hopes. I tried to convince her by saying there is still hope if we both agree to make this work by therapy and other means. I also mentioned that i went to a therapist and gave her the case stidy which explained the above situation published above post. She was quite emotional and told me she is not going to be happy in this relationship or outside if this. I challenged her if divorce was the right choice. She said at least that her sufferings may reduce to some extent by giving me divorce. She also asked how i was managing and if i plan ti stay there or move away from the city and i told her that i have not decided anything for now. So conversations went on quite a bit and me trying to convince her to give it more thought although i did assure her that i dont want to be with an unhappy wife. Then at one point i told her to move forward and we disconnected. She called me back with emotional feelings and i stopped her and told if she loves me. She said she does but it doesnt matter. Asked her if she trusts me. She said no and hung up She read the case study and said its good for my future marraige and said ours is not fixable. Late night she sent me a broken heart article link - https://herway.net/love/this-is-what-she-turned-into-after-you-broke-her/
I read and told i apologise if i had hurt her. Not sure how much time i have and how i need to deal.
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
Wife kept divorce papers on the table in my absence
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
Since my wife bought dilators, the doctor is suspecting it to br vaginismus. No wonder why i was finding it hard to penetrate her. It was a like brick wall.
The brick wall thing is what I've heard about vaginismus. Did someone suggest to her that she try dilators?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Since my wife bought dilators, the doctor is suspecting it to br vaginismus. No wonder why i was finding it hard to penetrate her. It was a like brick wall.
The brick wall thing is what I've heard about vaginismus. Did someone suggest to her that she try dilators?
I think she realized it herself and tried to fix her issues. But anyways its not divorce papers bjt actually it is statement of financial affidavit she kept on table. I have almost moved out of this marraige. Have not kept much hopes and planning to move with my life. If she comes back before divorce i will welcome. If not move on
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
Update - wife asked me to sign the financial affidavit at the earliest. I asked 10 more days time. She was insisting the reason for delay. I just said i am taking 1 week time to decide the end of my marraige. She insisted the documents be emailed. I refused and said that is not how i deal with things and i will personally hand it over in 10 days. She somewhat agreed with reluctance. Later out of curiosity, i texted and asked why she is hurrying as she had mentioned that she wont think of divorce for 3 months. And she said its an emotional trauma and big decision. She took time to think and decided what she wants and hence made up her mind.I simply thanked her. Since there is not much hope left should i send her the documents earlier than the date mentioned?
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
Send her the document. Why are you holding it up. You have to get out of her way. By you making your declaration of 10 days, it seems like you are trying to control her.
Stop trying to control her. You holding up that document is all about control. You giving over that document is not you saying you are giving up on the M.
Its now time for you to GAL and keep moving forward. Work on 180s and detaching.
You are trying to stay attached to her by holding that document over her head. She needs space from you and you need space from her. I know it's scary because a lot of unknown is involved, but you want get her back by holding this document over her head, you will only push her away faster.
She must see a strong and confident Nut. She must see a Nut that she knows will be fine without her.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
I don't think ten more days will change your W's mind/heart in this particular situation. I am so sorry. I don't think handing the document to her in person will influence anything, either. ((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks for ur advice. I was advised by leni phone coaching DB to delay this as much as possible. And for now my wife has agreed for the time. In a way,one shouldnt hastily do things. I was thinking of taking an advice from the lawyer nexy week as well as schedule a phone session with leni as per her suggesti n.Dont u agree?
M(35) F(35) T(6) M(6) BD 10/25/2017 S 3/12/2018 LRT 4/3 D Served 4/30 D Signed (Me) 5/1 D filed with Court 5/21 D Final 7/6 Moving on with life and doing lot of GAL since 7/6 :-)
