One thing I've understood, is what makes people (women) attractive - and also magnetic and charismatic - is being present, alive and enjoying your own physical being
Related story: Recently single again after the blowup of my last boyfriend, I chose to take up an offer from someone I briefly dated 5 years ago to come visit. I'll admit to being a little apprehensive - although we'd stayed nominally in touch over those five years, we hadn't seen each other in those years and I'd gained a lot of weight since he last saw me - close to 40 lbs.
Sure enough, he, in that annoying way men have, had actually lost some weight since I last saw him and was sexier than ever. But did he notice my excess weight? Not a bit! In fact he commented on enjoying the view as I climbed the stairs ahead of him and later reveled in my "luscious" curves.
I still plan to lose weight - in fact, I'm down ten lbs. since I started a walking challenge at the start of the year- but it's nice to know that his approval isn't dependent on a few pounds here or there.
I understand and accept what you say Kml and focus.
Being slim all my life (apart from briefly when I had steroids after cancer in 2001) until the G and pneumonia. I mean slim, lighter than average, fit and athletic, able to move and comfortable in my skin.
I am 15lbs over weight and am used to being 7 lbs below ideal. I decided that simoly being 7lbs over would be ok. But 21lbs over where I want to be makes me uncomfortable.
I am not comfortable in my skin like this and yes I know that this might not be logical or ideal, it's the way I feel about me. I rationalise it, and have never really faced this before as I have always been slim and confident. And when I put on weight it was protective of me, the G didn't like it. But today I fear this is holding me back.
I truly would like to think that way kml but I decided my energy would be better placed resolving the weight issue rather than unravelling the mess of thought spaghetti.
I know the dynamic, it isn't lack of awareness of it. I have lost much of the weight (180).
Kml I don't have curves, just lumps. Many gorgeous, gorgeous women look lovely with extra weight. Stunning in fact.
I looked better at 30 to 40 lbs overweight than I do now at 21lbs over my ideal As you said luscious. That's sort of strange I suppose.
Focus I will enjoy being fit and having my ordinary body back, that will give me my confidence in that area. My confidence is OK now in other areas most of the time!
I believe in walking to the pain though and this one is complex and intermittent.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I was 55lbs over weight! Lots and lots for someone 5 ft 4.
Never again, I am never ever doing that again, if an R is not going well the solution isn't extra weight.
Mind you I suppose I did lose 180 lbs and more of extra weight. I lost the G and that was 225 lbs of excess weight. Yes I know it makes no sense that I absorbed the G criticism when he was as overweight as me.
I suspect it's usual in some sitches.
Must go study.......
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
We had snow a couple of nights ago from 2 am to 6 am.
Some time during the night I had a visitor treking round my back garden leaving foot prints. Small male shoe size. Also sat on back bench
The G was seen in the village.
So G if you are reading this or one of your flying monkeys is, the police are aware, the domestic abuse team are aware and I now have cameras. If I catch you coming any where near my house, trespassing on my land, then this is a tort and I will take civil action as well as pushing for criminal action.
It's harassment. Go live in your hovel in Italy and leave me alone.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I absorbed the G criticism when he was as overweight as me.
I suspect it's usual in some sitches.
It was for me. My X was always overweight. "Extra curvy" I would sometimes call it. When we met I was pretty fit - able to wear a cropped off shirt (it was the 80s) with pride. She would regularly tease me at the beginning, calling me "doughnut boy". As time and poor choices passed we both got a lot heavier. She was 190lbs at 4' 11" at one point and I was 275 at just under 6' She would regularly comment on my being fat and openly worry about my health while bragging about how healthy she was. She had mobility issues because of her weight, fibromialgia and varicose veins the size of small ropes all over her legs.
I think many people don't see themselves but project their own issues on others.
The ghostly visitation is a bit scary. I'm glad you've taken steps to be safe. Be careful out there.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Lady V, your "visitor" worries me. Please take all extra precautions you can. I worry for you and your safety, though I have no doubt you can absolutely take care of yourself.
As for the weight issue, I think I have the opposite problem from you. You mentioned you'd always been thin, athletic, fit and you mentioned that you are short (5'4"). I have always been heavy. I never in my life had a time when I was thin or fit looking. I'm also tall. I'm 5'11". But while I know many men are not into plus size women, I have been lucky to find my share of men who just don't care or even are attracted to someone fuller figured. I recently decided FOR MYSELF I'm going to actively work on becoming more fit and in that endeavor, I believe I will actually lose weight, but I'm not doing it for the sake of being more attractive to men, but mainly because I'm 48 years old and I want to be able to continue to have a fun and active lifestyle for many, many more years and I won't be able to if I just completely let myself go. If you want to lose 7 pounds, go for it, but know, like the others before me said, that men aren't really going to care if you lose it or keep it. I have no doubt that you are a lovely, striking lady in real life. At least my mind's eye paints you that way.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Hmmm...mucking around in the snow during the night sounds like something only a Canadian would do.
Brits are just Canadians with better beer and less polar bears.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
