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#2781213 03/09/18 03:16 PM
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Just a Vanilla change 35

Abuse resource Vanilla and Zelda
Abuse Resources

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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So new thread, it's appropriate.

V intends to learn to date and is going GAL.

So thank you, all of my tribe for getting me to this point.

The next phase begins.......

Let's have one long thread party.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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So any hints from experienced daters?

Don't be shy......

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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OK great date.

Young guy lied about his age! He is 35 not 39........

What now?

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Well what do you want? If it's just a "friend with benefits" it could be fun. (Young men do have stamina). If you're looking for a long term relationship he's probably not the one.

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Hi Lady V , any more details of the date ??

I dated for about 6 months and i met quite a few ladies. It took me one or two dates to get and idea of them and maybe three to see the 'real' them. I tended to have a meal on the first date and then do something different on the second ( off road driving , a day at the seaside , boating, etc) this gave me an idea of their personality.

I very aware that im no looker but i put up my pictures and they were current , i was genuinely shocked at how some looked compared to their pictures , on a couple of occasions it wasn't even funny !!!

I was very open and honest because that's what i wanted but again I was taken back by some of the things I was told that were obvious lies.

From all the dates i met two very nice ladies that i felt suited me , one lived far away and the other i have been with for about 9 months now.

I suppose the dating pool is like the rest of the world , very mixed so tread carefully and enjoy the experiance. Put yourself out there and see what happens. It's always nice to meet people and we all have very interesting stories, so even hearing those can be entertaining.

As for advice , RUN from people who have , never got the breaks , should have had promotion BUT, people who live on that negative road, those with lots of regrets, this may sound harsh but there are positive people out there and they are great to be around. I made that priority because for me thats very important.

Lastly , don't settle, there is someone out there for you and he will be valuable addition to your life.

Just my thoughts.

Take care , Rd

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Originally Posted By: kml
Well what do you want? If it's just a "friend with benefits" it could be fun. (Young men do have stamina). If you're looking for a long term relationship he's probably not the one.




He is looking for a LTR! I just want to date.....

He is very sweet but far too young for me and quite vulnerable as he is an LBS.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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RD

My lovely kind friend, I was so delighted when I learned you have treasure in your life, a lovely beautiful lady to gladden your heart. You deserve so much, is it 9 months already? Time flies.

It makes my heart hope for my tribe, that each one will become who they need to be and find peace and happiness.

My date went well, I measured this young man was vulnerable and lonely. So whilst I can offer friendship and dating (even with benefits) that would not be wise of me.

I was surprised at your observation on looks, mainly because it makes no sense. The only reason I can think is that others present the best of themselves, wanting to be chosen. In real life that will unravel. I am aware that I photograph well, that (at least when I am slim!) that slightly glamorous film star quality that photographs well. Not like glam sis who is as glamorous in photos as she is in life. But well enough, I think to pass for whom I am, although I guess guys might be disappointed in my slightly eccentric appearance.

I have had two dates since, one guy was pleasant enough but no real spark and he had little interest in much other than TV. The second guy was more interesting but he wasn't interested in me really. He spent our hour telling me about his ex. When he rang to make another date, I said "you are still in love with your ex, you aren't free to date". He agreed, although he said she has moved on. I said you will too in time. His ex was a WAW and he did nothing to repair his R, he just let her go, he discovered the loss of R was his neglect after she had gone 6 months. He wants that back and has not worked his stuff. Such is heart break.

This is a journey for me an interesting one after all. So far three very pleasant coffee dates but these guys were met IRL so no surprises on the "you are not like your picture" front.

I am resting now on the dating front as I have two exams to come and a busy social schedule. Glam sis is flying to a wedding in Thailand from Gatwick, Bestie has her 70 birthday, and another close friend has her H in hospital.

Besides I have 7lbs to loose to look much better than I do (with kit off). But still YM35 saw me in a swim costume and was not put off, a big step for me.

I know I will not be that far behind you on the dating front.

Enjoy your lady RD, I have my bag of rice ready and I need a hat.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Recently I have had some lucid dreams, unlike the period where I slept very badly. I can sleep although it isn't that refreshing for me.

In my dreams I exchange conversations with those in my life who have died, although I can't always remember it, I get a sense of peace.

Strangely aged pa isn't among those I have chatted with. They include a close friend who committed suicide, my cat Big G, a neighbour who was wise and beautiful, a friend who was recently murdered by her abusive ex, my grandad, little brother, and a friend who died last year.

I am not saying much in these dreams, it is the others who talk and tell me, largely sitting in conservatories or gardens.

I am finding it hard to find meaning in the dreams unless these are my support team. So far it has been those I know well, but there is no advice. Largely they are disclosing their 'secrets' although why or for which purpose my mind is unsure.

Big G just wanted to sit and then to snooze, his worried ginger face very close to mind. I heard him breathe and sigh before he padded away behind the apple tree.

I would like aged pa to come in my dreams, but I think he has already passed to his future home. I have already said goodbye.

I never dream about H1. I know a boyfriend I had after H1 has died because he has visited me in my dreams. This R was a mistake, I used bf as a bandage to ease my grief. It was hurtful of me and although I never deceived bf or told him I loved him, he had expectations. I let that R drift on too long because it was comfortable and the sex was good. I did not cheat on bf in any way, but I am not proud of letting that R get so one sided. So I am not surprised that he came in my dream for my remorse. Perhaps it was YM35 that triggered that dream.

What would Freud think of that? I ask myself.

So far no sightings of the G in my dreams, I had many night and day terrors of him once upon a time, so I guess he is still alive somewhere.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Quote:
Besides I have 7lbs to loose to look much better than I do (with kit off). But still YM35 saw me in a swim costume and was not put off, a big step for me.


V - if all you have to lose is 7 lbs., let me let you in on a little secret - no man cares about your 7 lbs. Seriously.

I've been underweight and I've been overweight. I can guarantee you, at no point in my life has a man looked at me and thought "damn, if only she didn't have those extra 7 lbs. I'd find her attractive". Even my ex-husband who was a bit of an OCD weight Nazi would not have noticed a measley 7 lbs.

In fact, what I've noticed in my post-divorce dating life - during which my weight has fluctuated over a rather large range - is that I actually got more male attention when I was heavier than in my marriage - most men like voluptuous curves, go figure!

So try just owning those seven extra pounds. It's fine to try to lose them if it really matters to YOU - but don't make the mistake of thinking it matters to men. They probably prefer you as you are now.

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