It stays in place as long as the B***S*** Criminal case is open. First hearing on it was Late Feb, next one is first week of May. There is a decent chance it will get continued again in May because I am not pleading G. We'll see. I think the prosecution has the steering wheel for the most part. The thing is, that if she decided not to show for the previous or the upcoming hearing it would have gotten dismissed right off the bat and that didn't happen.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Another question, Lets assume the unlikely situation of reconcilliation actually comes up and occurs.
SHE made this whole affair very public because she didnt really cover her tracks well at all, and a lot of people knew about it before I did.
By this point, most of both our families know, and all of our friends. If we were to reconcile, how the hell do you have a relationship after everyone else important in your life knew how messy, manipulated and full of deception things eventually become?
My family and friends would all most likely never truly forgive what she had done to me, and would possibly ostracize her, or at least quite scorn. However if there is a chance to save our marriage and keep our family together i want to seize that chance, and anyone in my friends or family should respect that decision and agree if I of all people are willing to try and trust her again (if and when she ever proved her intents through actions, not words) they should also give her the benefit of the doubt and let us try.
I don't see that a likely scenario.
How have others that have Pieced things together dealt with this hurdle?
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Another question, Lets assume the unlikely situation of reconcilliation actually comes up and occurs.
SHE made this whole affair very public because she didnt really cover her tracks well at all, and a lot of people knew about it before I did.
By this point, most of both our families know, and all of our friends. If we were to reconcile, how the hell do you have a relationship after everyone else important in your life knew how messy, manipulated and full of deception things eventually become?
My family and friends would all most likely never truly forgive what she had done to me, and would possibly ostracize her, or at least quite scorn. However if there is a chance to save our marriage and keep our family together i want to seize that chance, and anyone in my friends or family should respect that decision and agree if I of all people are willing to try and trust her again (if and when she ever proved her intents through actions, not words) they should also give her the benefit of the doubt and let us try.
I don't see that a likely scenario.
How have others that have Pieced things together dealt with this hurdle?
That is very difficult to get over, I can't lie This is why most marriage experts tell you not to tell family and friends. It is hard enough for the two of you to deal with everything you know, but when others know it is almost as if each of those people also have to go through their own R with the spouses. However, I wouldn't worry about that. If R is your goal, work on that first and worry about how to deal with friends and family if and when that becomes an issue.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I feel like a weakling for liking things on her FB. i shouldn't have done that. Shows that I am still looking, attached. I feel like doing so just gave more power to OM, even though I hardly know anything about the guy. I have no indication as to how serious they are, if they are actually living together or not. it's so hard to track progress and development of situation when i literally get zero information fed back to me.
All i can do is GAL, hope and wait. And stay TF off FB.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Thanks, i hadnt even considered that at first but thought the same thing after the fact. again i HIGHLY doubt she would ever turn me in for it (she needs me to have our son half the time, couldnt do it full time, no way)
but still not worth the risk. Plus it keeps the Persue/Avoid cycle going.
Stupid.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
She doesnt post anything new. Hasn't for almost a year, after she went into "Social Media Blackout Mode" (which is very VERY unusual for her, as she was a Social Media fiend when we were together, but it fits a pattern, she went "Dark" on social media in between her Ex before me and myself. When shes hitting a rebound that Social Media Blackout seems to be par for the course) It was all tied in to her "Making herself appear single" to the online community (i didnt notice because i didnt have Instagram at the time) She knew she wanted an affair, set the bait out there in Jan of 2017 and didnt get a bite until around March or April when she started seeing OM (who dissolved an engagement to be with my wife)
So I haven't seen anything of her posts or updates because she hasn't been posting.
OM on the other hand.....seems to be getting VERY impatient being the "Secret Boyfriend" and has caved and posted a few things on Instagram. Like him and my wife together with my son. On several occasions. The exposure of my 3 year old to AP has gotten under my skin so bad. its awful, wrong and detrimental to his development. Shame.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
