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Originally Posted By: Joseph9
Not sure if it is just me being scared or if I fear telling people my story and or what to say when the topic of D comes up, when it was final and being labeled that guy on the rebound.


Not sure what happened to G and my earlier posts, must have been a systems glitch.

Just keep it positive.

You got together relatively young, you were no longer growing together and you both wanted different things. You would never have changed it in a million years because you wouldn't have your precious daughters. You have learned so much from this experience and have a better understanding on what makes relationships work long-term.

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Thank L how do you know when your ready? Are you ready? I'm not sure what I should be feeling.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
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I'm ready but I have known for about 14 months maybe longer that my marriage is over.

I do agree with the being comfortable being alone first.

My life is great right now minus the whole weird end of the marriage thing I got going on. I would just like to spend some time with members of the opposite sex and see what transpires. If it feels weird and I am not ready I will pull back.

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True...you are mentally ahead of me. I feel like I am in a good spot, much better than last week. I think I will just sit on it a bit.....I guess the first time is going to feel no matter how I good I feel about where I am at.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
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When your ready you will know.

Just please do not feel it is cheating. You stood to the very end and you should feel proud of that my friend.

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That's what everyone tells me.....I think as I get farther away from it actually being final I will feel differently. I can already tell that I am mentally heading in that direction.

Then there is a part of me that thinks I just need to say F it and take the plunge smile Have a few drinks and activate that profile!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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J9

From anow older wiser V to a younger delicious hot J9, a tiny word.

GAL for your life.

No R for a while.

This healing journey of personal growth and being the dad you will be is going to change you.

There is such a thing as the dating market place, and as you develop you will be going up market in your choices.

Join us in Surviving and watch what class truly is because often it's not on dating sites.

You deserve the best brave J. Up your game to get it.

Spend some time knowing what you want and don't want. Identify the values then go dating, dating not R.

It's not just your profile you need to do.

For what you think now will be different as you walk your path.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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LOL....thanks V, so glad your back! Makes sense, it is nice to just be me without the FOG of EW hanging in the back of my head. I am still diving deep into my own personal development and feel that my work is not yet complete spiritually or emotionally. Not sure that it ever will be.....I definitely know that I will not settle this time around.

So it's time to move over to the other side..........


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9
.I definitely know that I will not settle this time around.


Are you saying you settled the first time around?

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Not when we first got MR, we were both very much in love with each other and would have never imagined this happening. Things really started to change after having children. She became more selfish and often times would tell me that she had no energy left to tend to my needs after taking care of the kids, herself, work, etc. I got the scraps on a good day.

I just accepted that, was willing to settle with what I got for our MR and the children. I'm not just talking about sex but with other activities as well.

I should have been the one to raise my concerns and if I was strong enough let her know how unhappy I was with the situation but I didn't.

So I didn't settle when we first got married but I found myself settling after our kids were born and she started to change.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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