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#2781416 03/12/18 04:54 AM
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I’ve posted on MLC and Now separated. My WAW is in full MLC mode and will only let me stay at her house 7 days per month. Her parents live in her house so she has her support network. I am asking us to compromise on additional time but she dug her heels in. We are in 8th month of separation. She says she wants a divorce but won’t file because I asked her not to. We have two kids together and I have two from previous marriage. We live in 2 different states and I cannot afford to live separately. I am saddened and avoiding telling my 2 eldest kids their new step mom wants a divorce. I think she has PPD. Our kids are 1 1/2 and 3, and it breaks my heart, as her family seems saddened by this but do not appear to want to get involved.

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Hey! Have you consulted a lawyer yet? Not sure if anyone here can answer your questions because you need legal advice on your rights. It doesn't sound like you can reason with her about the situation.


No one is coming to save you!

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black8 Offline OP
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Thanks for your post. I met with a lawyer last year when we separated the first time. We reconciled for 6 months. Her house is legally hers, so I am treading lightly. I asked to live with her family members and they accepted if I am no there. Just wish they could talk sense into her, but Sandi’s rules say don’t talk to family.

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I would ask your post to get moved to Newcomers where there is more traffic and people will respond to your sitch, including some folks who have been here for a long time. Press the notify button on the post and then ask the Mod to move your post for now to Newcomers.

Yes, I don't think talking to her family members will help you in this situation. What did the lawyer advise last year?


No one is coming to save you!

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I can move your post, if you want me, to newcomers.

Here is more homework

Welcome to the board

Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.

Yes first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy (DR) book by MWD
http://www.mcssl.com/store/mwdtc2014/
http://divorcebusting.com/sample_book_chapters.htm

and Michele's articles
http://www.divorcebusting.com/articles.htm

You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts
(for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support).
Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active,
and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down.
Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come!
Most important - POST!

Get out and Get a Life (GAL).

DETACH.


Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.

Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:

I would start with Sandi's Rules
A list of dos and don'ts for the LBS (left behind spouse)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2553072#Post2553072

Going Dark
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=50956#Post5095

Detachment thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2538414#Post2538414

Validation Cheat Sheet: Techniques and tips on how to validate (showing your walk away spouse (WAS) that you recognize and accept his or her opinions as valid, even if you do not agree with them)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2457566#Post2457566

Boundaries Cheat Sheet
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2536096#Post2536096

Abbreviations
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2553153#Post2553153

For Newcomer LBH with a Wayward Wife by sandi2
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2545554#Post2545554

Resource thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...224#Post2578224

Stages of the LBS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1964990&page=1

Validation
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=191764#Post191764

Pursuit and Distance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2483574#Post2483574

The Lighthouse Story
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2484619#Post2484619

Your H or W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.
USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


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black8 Offline OP
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Yes, please move my post. Thank you.

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Originally Posted By: black5
Yes, please move my post. Thank you.

OK you are now here.

Try to keep posting here too!


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black8 Offline OP
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Did you have any thoughts on why she says she wants a divorce but won’t file because I asked?

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black8 Offline OP
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Thanks for the advice. Lawyer was more concerned about dividing assets and visitation schedule. This is my second marriage so unfortunately I am a veteran.

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black8 Offline OP
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Thank you. I appreciate it.

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