Entire families tax returns have been filed and all children are happy b/c they are getting money back. I suggested they take a few dollars and invest in some mutual funds. Of course being young they dont think of their future. But at least they are aware that they should.
Running: Last night during my run I got to 1.5 miles and just completely ran out of gas, could not continue. This has happened before so I was not too worried, its due to a lack of nutrition. So I got home and my W made baked ziti which I had for dinner so today I should be fine.
Three of my children have agreed to run in a Fathers Day 5K and they want it to be a competition between us. It also is a competitive run where a father teams whith one of his children for a team score. I usually pick D19 who is also a runner but b/c she has been away at college said she will not be compeptitive. We are all looking forward to this day and the trash talking has already started.
Work has been going great and I should be able to take some more time off and only work 5 days. I have a chance to grow my business and one of my customers has asked to give me more work. I want to take this slow as I would have to invest some money to grow.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
When do I sit down and talk with her about the future, does this ever happen. Should I post more about our daily interactions?
When she goes to you in a humble, remorseful spirit.......telling you how sorry she is for all the pain and destruction she has caused......and taking full responsibility for her actions. When she humbly asks for your forgiveness and when she asks you what does she have to do for you to take her back and go forward in the MR.
Until you see her actions, words, and attitude match...........don't waste your breath.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well I guess I wont have to worry about that as I just got the call from my L that W wants to proceed with D. I have to come in and redo all financials as they were done in Jan. So W being all friendly was an act or manipulation. I just told two of my children that the time has come and mom wants to proceed with D.
W is such a coward, we talk all day long then I get the phone call after she leaves for work. In Jan. I asked her could we please sep for 6 months and she said no. What the heck, you dont want to be with me but you want me to still pay for everything.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
Thank you LH for following my thread. So I got a call from L and she says guess what... I say what she says she received and email asking her what are we doing with this case. Remember my W filed and started all this and they want to know what we are doing. My L is really perplexed and says that W's L is incompetent. We should be at the point of them stating what they want, not us asking for what we want.
I have told two of my children that it looks like the D is going through and that they need to start looking for apartments. S21 got a little upset and does not understand what is wrong with his mother, I said that I am telling you so that you can be prepared as the house has to be sold. He said I really dont need this as he is about to enter the police academy, within 2 weeks. I said I will help you as much as I can.
Told D23 and she said ok that she can move by july or august, I said ok I just want her to be ready. She looked a little upset and said dad I dont think mom has (anyone else) OM why cant you guys work it out. I said that is between us and she should stay out of it.
S22 was not home but I will tell him today. D19 will not be told until she comes home from college around May 19th. Both S21 and D23 were told do not tell D19. D19 is the most sensative and she is going to have real problems with W. D19 and I were very close as we were both runners and ran several races together.
In some strange way I am feeling like I want this over, as hard as it is going to be breaking up our family I need to be happy too.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
Sorry hap I know you were hopeful and optimistic. You will be ok and there is a certain since of relief that comes with it. As L said don’t take your anger out on your W. Time to stand tall.
Thanks J9, I am starting to feel relief and knowing that there is life after D. I am keeping busy but my issues now are she keeps asking me things that do not matter, like oh H do you know if S22 is working today? Its like W thinks that talking to me is going to make things easier.
I just made plans to go to the social club tonight, it is always fun and a lot of laughs. Several members keep asking me to come down b/c I bring some comedy relief to the place. We play LRC (left right center) with about 20 people. Also play liars poker... its all good... plus adult beverages. They also have a dart board and it seems all the guys want to play me, interesting. I may have to let them win a game.hahah
The weather is beautiful today and I am trying to stay motivated to get things done. I am trying to keep it moving but we got playoff hockey on plus baseball in full swing...ugh the struggles.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
Well she probably feels some level of guilt and yes she probably does feel that if she talks to you it will make the situation less awkward.
Just buckle down and keep your nose on the finish line. Be pleasant, polite and cordial. It's all business from here on out. I just stood next to EW for about an hour watching our D's soccer game and discussion her upcoming birthday on 5/1. If I can do it so can you.
Thats good stuff J9, Thanks for the pep talk, part of my issue is this:
I said to her "You told me you wanted a D in May 2017, but you wait until jan 2018 to file. Then you wait until 4/13/18 to tell your L to proceed with D.
Just a little update:
W made 3K dollars more than me last year. This is not going to be what she thought. Oh well the pot of gold she thought was waiting for her is not there. Plus she made the mistake of taking out her 401K without telling me or her L. Big mistake.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
BH - I know it is frustrating but try to not let it get to. You may never know the reasons why and you need to accept it. There are many things that happen in this world every day to good people and they never know why. You and I should be no different. I have a very close friend of mine who lost her child at the age of 24 to cancer. She has to live with it every day and still has no answer as to why. Be thankful for all that you have, be thankful for your healthy children and that you got to experience them grow up in household with their mom and dad under one roof. Something that my kids will never get to experience.
Try to not get bogged down in the details. You have a lot to be thankful for so try to focus on that.
