waw maybe #3

[sandi2]

So how did it go yesterday?

[bhappy2]

Hello Sandi, W got home after I left for work so I didnt see her until Tuesday. I woke up about 11am and she was sitting on the couch watching TV, I used the bathroom and went back to bed. I never even looked her way. I then wake back up at 12:30 to shower and start my day, she starts with HEY, how are you? I said good how are you? Then she begins saying did you get the pics I sent you, I said yes.

Her attitude and demeanor are as if nothing is wrong. As if D papers have not been filed. She is like my old W, I am really conflicted with the way she is acting. Its actually freaking me out a little, its just plain weird... you want to D me but your being friendly.

She says "I heard you have been cooking dinner every night" I said yes its all good we had some great meals. I said I am going to cook tonight as me and our children wanted a certain dinner, well as I complete cooking W starts to clean the pans I used. I said please leave it I got it. She said ok but proceeded to finish cleaning the pan she started.

I can tell you this, I am more confused today then at BD, I have no idea what she is doing. I really would rather just get the D over with. Her L will not return calls and my L said if I want we can push this hard if I want. I told her to hold off for a few days.

Have there been LBH that in the course of DB actually didnt want to take back their WAW? I am starting to not have any feelings for her. Somebody help me with this... is it b/c she hurt me so badly? B/c I will never be able to trust her if we do R?

What changed over the last month and a half that she is more friendly to me. Yesterday was the first time in 10 months that she came to the bedroom to say goodbye as she was leaving for work. She would normally just walk out the door with saying a word.

[LH19]

BH,

Slow way down my friend she is most likely going to still D you. She is being friendly because there is no pressure anymore. MY STBX and I are very cordial to one another, sleep in a=same bed and have sex from time to time. Doesn't mean she is changing her mind.

That will come years down the road.

I know you follow j9s thread.They are getting along great because there is no pressure. She still wants D.

Keep moving forward you are doing great.

[sandi2]

Have there been LBH that in the course of DB actually didnt want to take back their WAW?

Sure! Once they get their own head free of fog and see what the W has become.......the LBH decides he can do a heck of a lot better and dumps her. That is the attitude he should have from the beginning of bomb drop date.

I can tell you this, I am more confused today then at BD, I have no idea what she is doing. I really would rather just get the D over with. Her L will not return calls and my L said if I want we can push this hard if I want. I told her to hold off for a few days.

Why do you guys let the W's change of demeanor throw you for a loop? It means nothing for the MR! In fact, when she's acting all nicey-nice.......that's the time to be extra careful. It usually means she is buttering you up for something that would benefit her.

What is it Captain Kirk use to say on Star Trek? "Steady as she goes", or something to that effect. Just keep on going at your own pace, and don't take her mood shift as some indication she has changed her mind about wanting to be your W.

((hugs))

[bhappy2]

BH,

Slow way down my friend she is most likely going to still D you. She is being friendly because there is no pressure anymore. MY STBX and I are very cordial to one another, sleep in a=same bed and have sex from time to time. Doesn't mean she is changing her mind.

I am taking it really slow, I ask her nothing and she intiates all conversations. All I am saying is that I see a real change in her attitude towards me, that does not mean I am letting my guard down and in fact when I am done writing this I am calling my L to see if/how to move this D along.

LH thank you for following my sitch I do apprciate the feedback.

[bhappy2]

[/quote] Sure! Once they get their own head free of fog and see what the W has become.......the LBH decides he can do a heck of a lot better and dumps her. That is the attitude he should have from the beginning of bomb drop date.

And this is how I am feeling right now, I realize more today about my sitch then before and I am learning everyday.

Why do you guys let the W's change of demeanor throw you for a loop? It means nothing for the MR! In fact, when she's acting all nicey-nice.......that's the time to be extra careful. It usually means she is buttering you up for something that would benefit her.

It is not throwing me for a loop, I am writing on this site so that I can get advice to help me move forward. I will never let her hurt me again and if there is a R it will be with the help of a therapist.

I fully understand what you are saying, so then just keep doing what I'm doing? When do I sit down and talk with her about the future, does this ever happen. Should I post more about our daily interactions?

[LH19]

I fully understand what you are saying, so then just keep doing what I'm doing? When do I sit down and talk with her about the future, does this ever happen. Should I post more about our daily interactions?

Yes, keep doing what your'e doing running, going out with friends, playing darts.

I would sit down and find out what she wants in the D and see if you can come to some sort of an agreement. The more you keep lawyers out of it the more money you will save.

You can post about your daily interactions if you would like, just try not to read anything into them. Being cordial through this entire process will make it easier on your kids.

[bhappy2]

Yes, keep doing what your'e doing running, going out with friends, playing darts.

Yes will keep this up no matter what.

I would sit down and find out what she wants in the D and see if you can come to some sort of an agreement. The more you keep lawyers out of it the more money you will save.

My L only got back generic paperwork stating that she wants 40% of my income, health insurance, half the marrital assets. But my W is the one with the health insurance so she will have to provide that for me. W will not discuss finances with me and I will not bring it up anymore. The last time I asked her anything was about 2 months ago and I said that her L is not returning calls can we please speed this along and she said oh "I thought you wanted to work it out"? Maybe she is just playing mind games I just dont know.

I did call my L today and had a great convo, she is also a friend and thinks W is just not rational at this time. Also she has reached out about 5 times to w's L and gets no response at all. He did send over W's demands but after that, nothing. Last correspondance was feb.5th.

[LH19]

Yeah lawyers love these kind of games because they sit back and take in the cash.

Yeah she is most likely playing you to try to get what she wants. You’ll know if she changes her mind.

[bhappy2]

Yeah lawyers love these kind of games because they sit back and take in the cash.

My L is a friend I have only spent $100.00 so far, she really is helping me.

Yeah she is most likely playing you to try to get what she wants. You’ll know if she changes her mind.

This is something I just dont know and I am trying hard not to mind read her. The pleasantries continue today and I just like her attitude as of late. She is acting like a W again, we shall see were this goes.