Getting ready to move forward #3

[LH19]

You have plans with the kids. Take them out somewhere.

[petri]

Problem solved. She didn't stay. And I couldn't of used that LH. Since it's about 10 p.m. here so there couldn't be any plans with the kids.

[petri]

Last night ended in these texts.

"I've been thinking about things. That's pretty much all I've been doing. I feel I've overthought things and my head is a mess."
"Especially in spring when I thought so f-ing much about these. And summer and fall. There were moments that I just couldn't think anymore, of course, or I would of gone crazy."
"Now from x-mas to this day selfdoubt and selfblame etc have surfaced."
"But I can't just say ok lets try. I can't say anything to that yet. Mostly I'm afraid of myself P. That can I give you unconditional love anymore. That is what I'm afraid of. And is there enough it to build on."

[petri]

I haven't responded to these. Mainly b/c I don't know if I should or what to respond if I should. But what I do know is that she will never feel anything towards me while the OM is in the picture. But my plans don't change. No matter what. The house will remain for sale. I keep moving forward. She needs to get her head straight and end the A. Only then we can even think about what to do.

[petri]

My head is now spinning like a pinball. Where is up and where is down? Everyone says this is a rollercoaster. Yes it is.

W bombeb with texts again. If only I had changed when she told me. She never got any appreciation from me. Her selfesteem was low when we met and never got up. Now it is up and there are moments when she is proud of herself.

[petri]

I need to quit stopping. If I stop and listen to her she just dumps everything on me. If I keep going she starts the I don't know what I want. She is screwing with my head. And I let her.

[neffer]

Just keep walking P. Stay strong! You are walking out from the mess. It is up to her to follow you. Get out!

[petri]

I am doing my best. But she just gets under my skin. I know that tomorrow her mindset is totally different. And the next day and so on.

[LH19]

P,

That is because you are still way to attached to her and hang on any little crumb that comes your way. She is just checking to see if plan b is still available and you are like a seagull at the beach waiting for someone to drop some crumbs.

Have you considered blocking her from your phone or telling her to only text you if it involves the kids?

Expect for this to go on for a very long time.

What goals are you currently working on?

[petri]

I need small goals to start with.

Don't respond to messages unless urgent or questions about kids.
GAL! Do karate, visit friends and family.
Read! Knowledge is power.
Make sure to get enough sleep and eat well.
Give kids time.

These are good to start with.