waw maybe #2

[bhappy2]

FC, got home from the party and we were all so tired we went to sleep, woke up the next day at 5:30am went to use the bathroom and W was awake said she couldnt sleep. I went back to bed and she was already gone, went to work. Didn't see her until today and she is vvery talkative, wanting to talk about the party saying that we should do that more often. We talked for 20 minutes like there is nothing wrong. I keep my answers short but I am also being aware not to sound like anything is bothering me.

I know for a fact that my W loves when our whole family is together so this is one of her love languages. You can tell she is a proud mother and was enjoying the night even though she did not want to dance.

For the first time in a long time I feel like I am able to move on, I do not want to get D'ed but I am not afraid anymore. Our daily interactions are pleasant and there is no fighting at all just as there was none before BD.

[winner]

Are you still trying to prevent the big D or are you accepting it? Meaning are you still utilizing DB techniques?

[bhappy2]

Updating:

Filling out all financial data for attorneys, didnt realize the amount of money I spend on basic things electric, oil, phone, and cable. The reality is really hitting home for my W as her attorney has not responded to our requests.

W is being very friendly and starts convos with me I just pleasantly respond and keep it moving. My lawyer advised me to let her do the thinking for me and to take my heart of the marraige. There is no way for us to keep the house unless W has some rich millionaire BF...lol.

I am just living my life for me and my children now and I have gotten over the hurt. The damage being created will be my W's burden not mine. I have learned so much about myself in the last several months its amazing what we do not see as we are living it. The financial pressures of life really got in the way of my W and I having a good marriage. We just didnt do anything anymore we didnt date like we did early in the marraige. I cannot turn the clock back so I will look forward.

Thank you to all the vets on here, such amazing people who stayed on to help others.

[bhappy2]

Updating:

Have not talked to my W in a week I decided that I am not going to start any conversations with her and actually I feel a big relief.

So two days ago she leaves one of my favorite foods in the fridge an a note for me that its in there. I do not touch the note or the food, until today and she never mentions it. She is sending a package to D19 to college and asked if I wanted to send anything. I did put two things in there.

My W's mother is not doing well and many in her family are concerned. W is trying to help her as much as she can and is spending time there. It is helping me deal with her not being here.

I have been getting out more and working less, I did not get the job I interviewed for about two weeks ago. I joined a social club and there are a ton of activities they have every weekend. One member asked if I was single b/c she had a daughter who was single and wanted to set me up. I politely said sorry I am married. Plus I am no where near ready to day.

I truly believe my W is temp checking me with little things, I do not believe she wants to R in the least. I have really just stopped playing the roller coaster game. She did unfriend one of my cousins that sometimes posts fun things with pics of me. She has not changed her status on FB as it still says married.

[bhappy2]

Update: I am still here and reading but I have put myself on a 2-3 day off the boards. I found that I was almost to the point of becoming addicted to reading all these different sitches.

As for my sitch everything has been slowed down and W is doing normal things again asking me questions about my day and is being very friendly. She has been cleaning the house cooking dinners and the such. I do not think this is anything and she has not indicated that she wants to R at all but she is much more pleasant.

W has been told by her L that the MH has to be sold and she is not happy about that, but I will not waiver on this at all. This is not to punish her at all but if I am getting a D then I will not longer work 6 days a week. I have no life at all I was working for this family.

[bhappy2]

W still wants our D to remain a secret, this is just crazy to me. I really think she is in need of some real counseling for herself.

Do you think I should tell anyone?

Just some quick questions if anyone is still reading my thread...

W just recently chenged her FB status from M to no relationship to show. I think this is a clear sign that she is looking for someone new. She also unfriended my mother. She has been very friendly like I have stated before but I do not think there is anything to it.

Well, I will continue to read these boards to help me get through this process. As many have said you are still way early in this.

[LH19]

BH,

If you want to tell people it is your right to do so.

Really not sure what your other questions are?

[bhappy2]

I am still not sure what is going on with my M, my questions is her changing her marrital status a clear sign that she is letting people know she is available?

There has been no talk of D or lawyers for over two weeks since she has been told the house has to be sold. I just do not know what to do anymore. I am DB all the time and only say hello and goodbye to her unless she intiates the convo.

At this point I do not even know if there is any chance at saving this M, but boy have I learned a lot.

[LH19]

BH,

Again I am not 100 percent sure what your question is but if it is “is she changing her mind” the answer is highly unlikely.

She is being nice now because the pressure is off and she is feeling relief.

Start preparing for a life focused around you and your children. You are going to be just fine.

[bhappy2]

Thank you LH, sorry I am not clear.

No I do not think she is changing her mind, but she is def not sure about having to distrupt the kids lives for this. Just a thought. What I mean by distrupt is selling the house, this would mean all kids would hae to get their own appartments.We would see them a lot less, W would need an appartment to take the dog which costs about 500 more than an app. without pets. We live in a ery expensive part of the country.

Talking more and more to coworkers of mine who worked oernights like myself and I believe the D rate is much higher, I wish MWD would do a study on this.