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LOL....ok cool thanks man. Sent my mortgage guy an email.

MAN CAVE!!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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Hi all...started the refi process so hopefully it will go smooth. Have my D's this week so we have a daddy/daughter dance to go to at church tomorrow night for Valentines Day and they have soccer practices and games this week as well. The Spring season starts this week and is one of my favorite times of the year.

I have a bad case of tendonitis in my L elbow from lifting weights so I was restricted to just cardio this morning at the gym. Hopefully it feels good enough to play basketball tomorrow.

Not much else to report....feeling good and ready to get this D over with.

Had some time with the W on Saturday. She now refers to me as the girls Dad and we started the process of separating their clothes so we don't have to lug suitcases back and forth every week. She is not occupying much of my head space these days and I don't have much emotion in me when I see her. There is total relaxation when I am around her.

I have noticed that through the D process she stills defers to me for a lot of things. Financial stuff, car stuff, what to do with certain things like the money she will get from equity in the house, etc. It just reaffirms to me that there is no OM and this is really more about her than me as a H or father. She sent me a bunch of pictures on Saturday night of the girls have a sleepover with their friends at her apartment which I thought was cool. I do know that she will be a good co-parent and she has been respectful to me through this process.

Anyway, all for now.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jun 2017
Posts: 826
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Good update, J9!

You've really done a bang-up job of getting through this.


Me-47,XW-43
S13,S16
M:18
BD:4-23-17
W filed:7-17-17
(5 months of in-house separation hell)
W moved out:1-6-18
D granted:2-15-18
Decree signed:3-29-18

Your future is out there. Go find it.
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Thanks H.....it has definitely been a process but I feel myself moving from the "acting as if" to the really feeling it stage.

Being separated for the past 8 months and her moving out at BD also helped but I know I could have made things worse by chasing, pursuing, checking up on her, etc. Now it just feels like a formality.

I will still probably feel some emotion in court the day the D is final and I know I am going to be bothered when my kids meet some OM or when I see her with OM for the first time. I need to figure this out. As 25 always said though, don't borrow problems from the future so I just try to stay in the present.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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H....the only other thing that is weird about all this is the R between my W and I. Totally amicable, no hard feelings on either side, she knows I have her best interests in mind, knows that I am not trying to take advantage, etc. She has trusted every financial number I have provided to her and has agreed to everything I have suggested.

The part that makes me sad is that we are set up so perfectly to work on this but she wants no part of it. That to me is so frustrating and tragic.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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GM all....I hope everyone survived Valentines Day, I know it can be rough.

Took my D's to the daddy/daughter dance on Tuesday night. They had a blast. There was a former New York City Rocket that taught all the dads some dance moves and the girls loved it. We got our pictures taken and at the end of the evening each girl got a rose. They were so excited and it will definitely be a new tradition that I will do with them every year.

Last night we went out to dinner with some friends so it was pretty low key. They had Valentines Day parties at school so they were pretty tired at the end of the evening. I got up this morning and played basketball so that was fun.

On D news our court date has been set for April 11th. The W and will show up, submit our paperwork for the judge to sign and it should be official. Not much emotion wrapped around it for me. My W's birthday is 4/23 so I sent her an email saying that we should have it moved to her birthday so we could celebrate. I can't remember what she responded with but I got a chuckle out of it.

The re-fi process has been started, just waiting to hear back from the mortgage dude on next steps. We are swapping cars as well this weekend. She will get the car I am currently driving in the D so I took it yesterday and got the oil changed on it and a new battery put in it for her. I know not my responsibility but I am walking away with my head held high and my integrity in tact.

Other than that things are good. D's have soccer practice's tonight and games on Saturday. Spring break is coming up for us in about a month so I am trying to think of some things to do with the girls since it is my week and I am taking off to be home with them.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 44
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J9, you are killing it through the D process!


M: 42
W: 39
Married: 13 Together: 18
Kids:10,8
BD 1: 2/2013
Reconciled: 9/2013
BD 2: 10/2017
Separation from MH: 12/2017
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Thanks HS........I am trying! I didn't ask for this or want it but I am determined to only show her strength and confidence through this process. I will not beg, plead, gravel or send her some letter out of desperation apologizing for things. I will be a great co-parent and conduct myself with integrity.

She is a fool.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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A very big one.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Ha ha...thanks V, I know what I bring and how I have changed so I would like to think so. Have had a good weekend so far. Hit the gym yesterday and today, took my girls shopping yesterday for some new school clothes and new swimming suits and hit church this morning. The girls are currently at choir practice and we are going over to a friends house tonight for dinner.

It rained and has been kind of dreary all weekend so their soccer games where cancelled Sat which was a bummer. My youngest had her last basketball game as well and they won so that was cool. She also scored 4 of the teams 8 pats smile.

Texted with the W a couple of times on kid stuff but nothing major. Back to work tomorrow and she has then this week so it will be nice to have some time off.

Me and another D dad are going to take our kids camping for two nights over Spring Break so that will be a great time. The W and I also got their clothes separated between our places so reduce the amount of bags we have to take back and forth so that will be easier. Time is going by pretty fast and our D should be final pretty soon.

I am still feeling really good, looking forward to the next chapter and ready to get this thing over with.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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