WW having EA with OW Possible MLC

[Maika]

Read this thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...478#Post2748478

[DblDown]

You've done it again Maika. Just when I was losing hope you have come up trumps! There's gold in your reply and definitely in that thread you linked to. TxHubby's turnaround is inspiring!

I'm 11 weeks into this and only now getting my head around the detachment I need to do. I like the onion reference in that thread, I'm on the first layer.

Yesterday I decided to take off my wedding ring. W had taken hers off weeks ago, and wearing mine was a constant reminder.

I'm also getting more consistent at working out and getting closer to my PBs before all this. I took the boys swimming too, which was really nice.

I hear you on the house servant thing, that is something I'm working on.

[DblDown]

On a separate note, GAL related, did you ever get that Harley? That's the exact same bike I've imagined myself getting for a while now, black with a set of Vance & Hines. Now that would be Bad A$$!

[DblDown]

Got a quick question. Money matters...

Before BD, W was complaining that she was unhappy with lack of money (being a student). This was on the run up to Christmas, so we had a chat about what she would need to cover her until around March. I transferred 3k to a joint account and she's been using this money since, around half so far.

As the A is continuing, should I take back the remaining money?

I'm sure she will resent me if I do, but hey that's no different to the resentment I'm getting already.

[reframe]

DblDown,

I don't have any advice for you, other than to hang in there.
I'm currently also in something very close to an in house separation.

We still exchange pleasantries and do some activities together, and we still share a bed, but any physical affection is few and far between (occasional hug or cuddle).

Wife has said she doesn't know what she wants, but all indications point to her just biding her time and getting her ducks in a row to leave.

Detachment is SOO hard in this scenario. A little separation would be painful, but it might actually make things easier.

[reframe]

submitted the above post before I meant to.

I'm NOT trying to make your thread about me, I am trying to say there are others in similar "limbo" situations, and we get what agony it is.

[LH19]

As the A is continuing, should I take back the remaining money?

Depends. Are you trying to punish her? What is your end goal for taking the money back?

[DblDown]

Double checked and W had used 2k of it, all while the A was in full swing. Just found out they're going to London sat night. I shouldn't care, but I'd rather not be bankrolling it.

I transferred the remaining money earlier.

Reframe, limbo is the worst. From reading other threads, the only way to deal with it is to dump them and move on asap. That way it's on our terms and we avoid the endless hell that is limbo.

Good luck with it!

[DblDown]

How are you supposed to deal with this? I think it's something like the pursuit and distance dance. So today is fourth day of barely any contact, zero texts and following the rules to the letter. I take the boys out to the park and we have a great time. She's at home and texts me a song that she thought I might like and signs off with a kiss. Odd, first text for 4 days.

When I get back, she looks upset and asks to chat. There are lots of tears, saying she feels ostracized and that she feels left out with all the stuff I've been doing with the kids (they've had a week off school). She doesn't like the way I'm behaving (not being Mr nice guy/doormat). I don't flinch and she tells me to leave the room. It was hard to see her so upset, but she had this coming, right?

I take it I should continue on the path I've chosen. I'm feeling better about myself and enjoying quality time with the boys! Seems like she was having a pity party, woe is me etc.

[LH19]

DD,

She's not having her way with you and she doesn't like it.

Keep it up.