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marina7 Offline OP
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Journaling,

What is sleep for LBS lol, well yesterday I pick up s9 and he runs out W car and runs to me mommy mommy... I Love to hear his voice W for the first time said is that s8 and d9 in the car I said Yes W ask can I say Hi to them I said of course. I wish W knew how much she is loved. W spoke in a soft voice like her old self but I know not to read to much into it.

Well yesterday was lent we has fish sandwich s9 ask mom did you go to church for ash we replied yes we did s9 said we did to me and mom only. I smiled and my heart felt warm. I look at my friend and said God is good all the time. God has been hearing my prayers.

Not sure if many WAW lose faith but mines did at one point W yelled what has God done for me I then knew W was in a dark place because God has always been with us the last 10yrs and W made sure we went to church, light up a white candle God has always Been with us so to hear W in the beginning yell that I knew it wasn't her.

Since the BD my faith has been more than what it was I knew all this is happening for a reason like my mom says Follow the process and don't question it let God lead you. Three things you must always remember.
1.God had nothing to do with this
2.Don't lose faith
3.God has a plan he never leaves us
I know many of us have question why me God or other things when we lose someone or when things are just going wrong. Through this my faith is stronger, I have had a spiritual awakening. I have grown from this and I understand God nothing to do with this. As I written before we do pray for W alot and we have a white candle lit up for W in my house and in prayer we ask to lead W back into his arms (God). I believe in my heart and soul that only W and God could help her through this. So we will keep praying.

When s9 said W went to church I have to say s8 and d9 eyes lighted up.

Am so proud if W if she is going to church. I pray she will see the light.


At BD
Lesbian marriage
Me39,W36
S9,D9,S8 adopted all three
Together almost 10yrs
Bomb Drop - April 2017
W movedout - May,2017
OW June,2017
Currently 2018
Me40, W38
S10,D10,S9
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 404
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marina7 Offline OP
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Journaling,
Having a great time with S9 and D9 and S8 last night I tuck kids to bed s9 gave me a big hug and squeeze he said I miss ya so much I said you know we do buddy we will be here. I promise am working on getting you home. S9 ask to pray with him we did and he ask God to mankes his mommy communicate and get along and for his other mom to be nicer to me and one day he ask God bring my FAMILY together. I stood quite and just said Amen. S9 said mom can you ask Mom if I can stay No school and your birthday I of course told myself I was going celebrate a day early and just pretend no birthday on Monday. S9 beg please call her or text her for me please please.

I of course slept on it. I woke up while cooking breakfast I was listen to Christian music. S9 and D9 came down they ask did she say YES. I responded I'll let you know. While cooking I sent W a text saying.

Me- Good morning, s9 ask if he could stay no school and birthday wanted to take them to car show like every year I do.

W-Good Morning, although I feel very conflicted about this for many reasons like you not letting me see the kids for Christmas.
I would like to speak with him so, please have him call me. I will oblige, hoping that in the future the same courtesies are extended to me. While also of course, approved by our attorney.

I Ask myself why am I so hurt with this why did I expect ger to say Yes. And her lying about Christmas not even once she called. If W knew we stood home for Xmas if she did come by or stop by on xmas day we where home. I think she came on the 23rd when I wasn't home and never gave me a head up she was stopping by. But w feels to lie about her coming when only God knows w didn't even call.

As much it hurt s9 ask am staying right mom. I responded I tried but other mom made plans sorry kid. He look very sad. I of course went to bathroom cried a good 10min and got myself together I guess there will never be a co parent with W. I know am trying for my kids. But W doesn't care.

I could have responded.
Hey on your birthday last minute you text me saying I want them 10am till 3pm I oblige I literally jump. But this was around July when I had all three when W went M-I-A I didn't say No.

But why even bother going back and fourth with W. I just responded I'll have him back at normal schedule.

God give me strength to keep me strong am losing all hope. To even try to co parent for my kids.

S9 wanted to call W saying I want to tell her I want to stay I said is ok buddy.

Knowing W she'll think I sent him. Because anything I do am the A**hole always so I said No hun please let's enjoy the couple more hrs we have baby.

This [censored] when I became a parent I didn't ask to be away frommy kids I knew what I sign up for. And it was to be full-time parent not part-time. Lately I been emotionally down.


At BD
Lesbian marriage
Me39,W36
S9,D9,S8 adopted all three
Together almost 10yrs
Bomb Drop - April 2017
W movedout - May,2017
OW June,2017
Currently 2018
Me40, W38
S10,D10,S9
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 404
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marina7 Offline OP
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Posts: 404
Wow, why am I shock once again why...

W post on social media a picture of herself and OW and W tells the world that OW has taught her the true meaning of LOVE. And wants to spend LIFE with Her.

Btw I haven't told immediate family so I been getting messages with ??? Of family and friends... holy crap

Happy 40th birthday to me. frown


At BD
Lesbian marriage
Me39,W36
S9,D9,S8 adopted all three
Together almost 10yrs
Bomb Drop - April 2017
W movedout - May,2017
OW June,2017
Currently 2018
Me40, W38
S10,D10,S9
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Posts: 8,855
Happy Birthday Marina

Have the best day you can, some treats and know you are thought of today.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Originally Posted By: marina7
Wow, why am I shock once again why...

W post on social media a picture of herself and OW and W tells the world that OW has taught her the true meaning of LOVE. And wants to spend LIFE with Her.

Btw I haven't told immediate family so I been getting messages with ??? Of family and friends... holy crap

Happy 40th birthday to me. frown


They do this Marina, the happy ever after pics, you know and I know it's untrue but it hurts.

Please stop looking at her FB.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Family and friends who truly love and support you will have deep concerns. Whilst I know it's hard to talk about this will in the long run make things easier.

Reach out to those who truly care and be released.

Hugs

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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J5K Offline
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Marina,

Happy Birthday!

Have the best day that you can! I hope you were able to have fun with the kiddos and they made you an awesome peanut butter and jelly sandwich. These are memories that cannot be replaced that W is missing.

(((Marina)))


H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6
S-9,8,8,6,4
S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15
EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16
PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16
XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16
Finally moving forward...
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marina7 Offline OP
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Please stop looking at her FB.

V

Hi vanilla,

To your response No I removed W from social media because exactly of this W posting things she shouldn't but W also removed mutual friend's but W didn't not removed my family. So my mom had to see this even though my mom knows it hurted my mom to see the level of disrespect she has for them my mom loved w like a daugther my mom always said am a fair person I won't pick sides but I also let actions speak for themselves and my mom is very sadden by W behavior due to not even W told my mom infact W still likes and writes to my mom.

What I mean is I have been quiet haven't told anyone only mom,and best friend and people W told horrible things about me. But I now have cousins and nieces texting me saying you and aunty W not together anymore due to W posting her love and basically saying she is so HAPPY to be marrying her soulmate. Wow.

Last night I wrote a letter to W and then burn it.

Dear W
I know things where far from perfect but in my eyes you where perfect. You made me the happiest W but am sorry you where not, I heard from a little bird your very much in LOVE and Happy, I know you might not believe me at this moment but since our seperation I knew if I didn't make you happy and like you told me you never loved me in the 10yrs we where together that you regretted everything. I still prayed for you that One day you would find your true love but especially your happiness. So I wish you and ow a bless marriage and I pray that you will feel the love I have for you with ow because being in love is an amazing feeling. I am thankful I got to know LOVE with you. I also have let go of you and have let go of us. I have realized if you truly LOVE someone and they are unhappy you let them go so they can find there happiness and I see you found yours so I know I made the right choice of letting you go. But please remember I will always have LOVE for you. Again I sincerely wish you and OW happiness and LOVE.

Sincerely,
Love always Marina


At BD
Lesbian marriage
Me39,W36
S9,D9,S8 adopted all three
Together almost 10yrs
Bomb Drop - April 2017
W movedout - May,2017
OW June,2017
Currently 2018
Me40, W38
S10,D10,S9
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
Member
Offline
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V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
Hugs

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
Sending you strength as you get ready for your hearing.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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