They say this so that they dont feel the guilt and have to carry all of the shame that follows. I have many adult friends who parents divorced and even as adults its painful. There will always be a sharp pain associated with it. This is just mere selfishness!!!
I am from divorce family myself. In my parents case my mom had to protect the kids and herself. Still there has always been a hole inside me. Even if I know it was the best decision for my mom and us kids.
In our case there is no clear reason. We had family trips a couple of weeks prior to W telling she's going to leave and she was all happy with me and the kids. Then all of a sudden she stopped talking to me and then moved out. How this will impact the kids even if we would end up in recon? Not well I suppose.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
We made official agreement with a real estate agent to sell the house. Before the real estate agent came, W was avoiding, didn't look at me and even turned her back at me. But when the agenr came she was all positive and upbeat. How can they keep this show up? I would be exhausted.
And on a positive note. The agent told us that our house had been mispriced. So we just might get through this almost with our feet dry.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Texted with W about selling the house. She texted that it feels kind of crazy to sell it. And that she is going through a hard agony of abandoning and still struggling with major guilt issues. She finished saying that although she dowsn't want to live there anymore there a always memories. After a while she texted that luckily the kids will adapt better than us grown ups. And that S11 is glad we're moving b/c he doesn't like his room.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Tomorrow we have an appointment with child welfare officer. W started asking me about alimony. What are my thoughts on it, am I going to ask for it etc. I've told her answers to these before. And I told her again. We are not going to talk about alimony at this point. Only custody issues.
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Lately W has been sending me texts about the kids and what thwy are doing. As soon as there's a "flow" with our communication like we had during MR she bluntly texts OK, yep etc. and it stops there. Temp checking or what?
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
I totally screwed up. W has the kids this weekend and I heard she is hitting the bar scene on friday. So I told her that I don't understand, since we don't have much time with the kids, why these moments has to be used to hit the bars. And so the spew began...
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Trying to move forward is the hardest part I think. I personally go back and forth from excitement at what the future holds and disappointment that I no longer have my partner. I look back an their were so many miss opportunities to really fixed things, that's where guilt comes in. I need to forgive myself and move forward.
I totally screwed up. W has the kids this weekend and I heard she is hitting the bar scene on friday. So I told her that I don't understand, since we don't have much time with the kids, why these moments has to be used to hit the bars. And so the spew began...
Yep you screwed up. Now is not a good time to be judging and controlling her. Get up and dust yourself off.
