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#2777310 01/31/18 01:32 PM
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M:30 W:28
T:9 MR:2.5
NoKids
Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16
Move back in: 1/17
BD: 8/15
She moved out: 9/1
chris19 #2777493 02/02/18 12:50 AM
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chris19 Offline OP
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Hey, just wanted to bump up my new thread with a question from my previous.

I am meeting up with her this Saturday to do the wedding gifts; and I assume look over the dissolution papers. Any advice for how I should approach Saturday. I figured splitting the gifts will not be hard; but when we go over the dissolution papers. Do I just sign away; do I ask her if this is really what she wants, do I say - if your not going to commit to gaining forgiveness from me and doing whatever it takes; as I will, I will sign...

Just looking for possible comments made by her, and the best ways to address them. Thank you in advance.

Thank you Russ and S for the responses earlier!!


M:30 W:28
T:9 MR:2.5
NoKids
Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16
Move back in: 1/17
BD: 8/15
She moved out: 9/1
chris19 #2777496 02/02/18 01:18 AM
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I agree with JRuss......I would not ask her if this is what she wants. If your comfortable with is in them I wouldn’t say a thing and sign them or already have them signed when she shows up and give them to her. Let her do the work from there if she wants to file them.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
TBSakaJ9 #2777513 02/02/18 03:29 AM
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I'll jump on the bandwagon too. Just sign them without a word.


Me-47,XW-43
S13,S16
M:18
BD:4-23-17
W filed:7-17-17
(5 months of in-house separation hell)
W moved out:1-6-18
D granted:2-15-18
Decree signed:3-29-18

Your future is out there. Go find it.
Holding #2777533 02/02/18 04:46 AM
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Chris--i agree with the others... don't restate... she knows what she needs to do... she may not be there yet--meaning, she may not believe the new Chris is really the REAL Chris... show her by your actions that the new you is REAL... don't waver... i am pretty sure she will find the new REAL Chris more attractive than the push-over Chris... she may not be ready to admit that yet... it does not matter... now if she asks you if this is what you really want, what will you say? you need to have this resolved before you meet--just in case...

artista #2777538 02/02/18 05:01 AM
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chris19 Offline OP
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Yes, I know! this is what I am kind of asking.

I am not ready for a D; but it pretty obvious she is making not effort to meeting my needs of NC, sharing phone records, MC, and doing what ever it takes to show me she is 100% committed to recon.

If she asks, I might say something like..."I cannot have this same conversation again, I believe I made it clear a couple times in the past that this is not what I want; but I will not stand in your way. It would take extreme effort and 100% commitment on both of us to reconcile and move forward with a new relationship."...

That is just of the top of my head.


M:30 W:28
T:9 MR:2.5
NoKids
Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16
Move back in: 1/17
BD: 8/15
She moved out: 9/1
chris19 #2777543 02/02/18 05:34 AM
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Are you exchanging gifts in a neutral place where you can leave if you need to or is this at your place?


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
chris19 #2777544 02/02/18 05:36 AM
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Mentioning recon is like pursuit, so don't go there with her unless she brings it up. She knows what she has to do to fix things, so there's no need to remind her.

If she asks if this is what you really want, just say "I told you I wouldn't stand in your way". She might try to push you to reveal more. Don't give it to her.

I think she wants you to beg her to stay, maybe just for the ego boost she'll get. She's always tried to play this game with you - "Chris, I'm leaving unless you try to stop me."


Me-47,XW-43
S13,S16
M:18
BD:4-23-17
W filed:7-17-17
(5 months of in-house separation hell)
W moved out:1-6-18
D granted:2-15-18
Decree signed:3-29-18

Your future is out there. Go find it.
Holding #2777765 02/05/18 02:39 AM
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How did it go Chris?


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
TBSakaJ9 #2777822 02/05/18 07:24 AM
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Chris--did you and W meet up to divide the gifts?

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