Living in the Present, only Looking Forward

[Georgiabelle]

Hi Coconut,

Sounds like you found a potential fit with the house. Good luck! In regards to 12 of 15 being women? Not surprised. Very frequently women join those types of meetups to meet guys-hence the disproportionate numbers. And before anyone chastises me, yes lots of women like to kayak. But it’s a bonus if they meet guys.

Sounds like a good weekend. :-)

[ciluzen]

Hey Coconut,

Just coming out of my lurker mode because of your post. I think if you somehow were able to find out what the ratio of women to men was on meetup for ALL of the groups, it would be mostly women. No idea why, but I joined a lot of meetup groups and seldom see men. With that said, I own a kayak and usually end up kayaking alone, even after joining a meetup event that is for kayakers. Usually other women sign up, but I think they drop out if no men sign up! So, you should be golden!

Have fun next weekend!

[Coconut]

So this guy is under contract for a house That didn't take long, I put an offer on the first house I looked at, the day after I looked at it and the owner finally signed off today. I believe I am getting a good deal on it, hard to know for sure since there are so few sales since its such a small community, but I would have paid 8k more than I am so it's a good deal for me. So I'm pretty happy about that.

I have the kayak meet that I created coming up on Sunday, one person signed up yesterday (female), but I checked the weather forecast today and the expected temp has dropped and the wind is stronger. I am ok with it, but I am willing to deal with more extreme weather than a lot of others. I'm hoping to get the first meet done, but I will understand if she cancels.

[Coconut]

Things are going really well.. I think the best thing I've done was get past my initial determination to start dating someone after my D. Yes, I'm now saying that I wasn't/am not ready for dating, I kept saying I was because I was looking at it as a "not being over ex" point of view, but now realize I wasn't because I wasn't living my own life like I want before I bring someone else into it.

House stuff is going well, I have the last inspection today and then meeting with my Realtor this weekend to review all issues found and decide if I need to either request money off purchase price to pay for repairs, ask them to repair before closing, or just eat the costs myself. So far, roofer and septic inspections have identified about $750 worth of stuff that needs to be done (nothing major), so if home inspection goes well I'd be willing to just eat the costs if they push back(I'm getting a really good price). I've been by the house a few more times and I am still in love with the neighborhood, I've meet the next door neighbor and get along well (always a plus), and I'm excited to close and move in

As for the meet ups, they are keeping me way busier than I would actually like, but I'm having a lot of fun. The singles group is getting to where they are getting together every couple of days. I keep declining the ones that I'm not really interested in (either schedule conflict or just don't want to go) and some of the girls are texting me trying to pressure me into going, but that isn't going so well for them. The group as a whole is a fun group, and there is a core group of us that are really getting along great, but some of them are there to find a R, which isn't where I'm at right now, so while I'm enjoying hanging out and their company, I am getting some pressure and have to keep taking steps back.

As for my outdoors group, three of us went to the 1st meet and had a good time, I mentioned that I was going hiking the next day and they asked if I could make it a meet. I did and 4 of us showed up for that and did a 4 mile hike at a state park (not too difficult but a lot of elevation changes). I've also had 4 other people in the group communicating with me directly letting me know they will start showing up but weren't able this weekend(deployed to the sandbox, had surgery, were on a weekend trip, etc). We are working on picking a location to set up a camping meet in April, and everyone is looking forward to going kayaking once it warms up (I'm the most experienced kayaker in the group and most have never done a river float).

All in all, I'm enjoying building friendships in my town. Once spring gets here, i'll also start doing a lot of trips with my kayak group that's scattered around the state, it will be nice to start hanging out with them again. Life is Good!

[Coconut]

Got a call from my s18 today, he is at regionals for high school wrestling (he is district champion), and let's me know he won his first two matches so he's moved on to semi finals. If he wins two of his next three matches, he will be competing at states I am very proud of my boy.

For those that don't know, weeks before I moved away he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes (no one in his biological family has it) and about two months later he was diagnosed with celiac disease..

Although he was initially pissed after receiving each diagnosis, he has accepted the challenges presented to him and does his best to do what he's "supposed to do". But the type I does present challenges with physical exertion, blood sugar can drop dramatically after physical exertion, and wrestling is very exerting.

So come to find out his first match tomorrow in semi finals is against a 4 time state champ and 2 time national champ... I couldn't be happier

My son has been in "high level" karate since he was 9yrs old, one thing I've learned through all the years is that win or lose don't matter, matches are about testing your skills that you've learned and worked hard to master. My son will not be affected by blood sugar for his first match tomorrow, and he will be going up against the toughest competitor he has faced in his HS wrestling and he will/should be 100% as far as medical stuff goes.

Talking with him today, he already feels like he's going out with a bang, everything else that happens is a bonus. Dang I miss him

[Coconut]

Well, my son went the full 3 minutes with the national champ (who's first two matches were both over in less than 20 seconds), but he lost to him in points... Unfortunately his blood sugar was affecting him in the second match, which he tied for points and it went into sudden death OT, and he ended up in 4th place in regionals, top 3 go to states. A great season overall, and a heck of a way to end his wrestling "career", he's a bit upset he won't be wrestling in states but I'm happy for what he did accomplish.

As for me, the lady in my gamenight group that I've been wanting to talk to more signed up for my singles group and is going to an escape room outing that I've been on the fence about. I haven't committed to the night out because I have a lot going on with the house purchase but when I saw she joined in for it I decided to go, but too late, it's already full . Dang my luck.

[Zues126]

Hey Coconut, thanks for sharing. I was in Tae Kwon Do for years and wrestled one season. While pool is my true calling I do find the wrestling and martial arts at the pinnacle of pure contests. I'm glad your son got to have those experiences.

Very sorry to hear about his diagnosis. That is a tough loss. Did he not know something was wrong before? I'm just surprised that he became district champion, now he's getting gassed in the second round (granted against a national champ!). Did his symptoms start escalating? I don't know much about these conditions. But it must be serious if it's ending his wrestling.

Maybe he could learn pool? No joke. Joe Rogan who commentates MMA was big into martial arts and then he got hurt when he was young, so he switched to pool. He talks about it a lot and there's a video of him running a nine ball rack. Your son might take to the game. It's a one on one battle, and unlike golf or bowling where you stay in your lane, you are directly playing against each other. You shoot from where I put you, and visa versa. There's a lot of 'grappling' in the defensive battles, there's training and refining technique, and in the end it is a test of mental control. I used to say pool is just mental arm wrestling, the game is played in your head, the pool table is just there so the spectators can see who's winning. Anyway, just my two cents.

Sorry you missed the escape room. Those are a blast. I did one with my kids. I finally got to use my ability to solve chess puzzles for a win! Maybe this could be a good chance to tell her you regret missing it and would love to try another puzzle room with her sometime?

Take care!

[Coconut]

He was diagnosed a year ago and had to be hospitalized for over a week because his blood sugar was about 5 times what it should be. He had to miss out on the last few meets of his junior year, but has been able to compete at a high level this year managing his condition pretty well. I think the biggest issue is the length of the championship meets, he was at regionals for about 7 hrs a day for two days, and eating well at a gymnasium for that long is challenging. Simply put, high exertion followed by 4 or 5 hrs of sitting before the next match is challenging to maintain the proper blood sugar.

His wrestling "career" is ending because FL colleges don't really have any wrestling programs worth striving for, and he wants to focus on his academics. He's managed to keep straight As through highschool honors and AP courses, and he's decided on his own to focus on classes without the hours of practice required for wrestling. He was the first junior to ever receive his high schools athlete of the year award (which he's likely to get again as a senior) at his HS, and he's in the running to be validictorian at graduation. My boys accomplished a lot, he's got a good head on his shoulders, and yes I'm proud to of had a hand in raising him to work hard for his goals.

As for the Xscape room, that is happening this coming weekend, it turns out that there are two meetup groups going together and a couple of people signed up in both groups, so there is space and I will be going . I'm hoping that I can spend a little time talking to her and see if there's anything worth Persuing, but I also don't want to make things weird, so we will see.

As I read the females on this site talking about their experiences with dating guys, I'm becoming more and more confident that I'm a hell of a catch (in good shape, no health issues, make a good living, etc), but I just have a hard time being confident when I'm talking with someone I'm interested in, I need to learn to just relax and be myself...

[Coconut]

So I'm finished with the house inspections, just waiting for the estimate from the general contractor that checked the foundation and then will get back to the seller and play lets make a deal. There were a few big issues found as well as normal small things in the inspections, I don't care about the small things and expect them, but I'm struggling on what to do about some of the bigger deal items, here's a list of the bigger items:

A/C - blower fan stopped working during the inspection. $375 to replace the fan, but unit is 25 years old and needs to be replaced (10-15 yr lifespan on AC units), $5,000 to replace.

Septic - Drain field box is destroyed, and drain field piping is blocked by roots. $550 to replace box and repair plumbing.

Roof Leak - roof is only 5 years old, but leaking around the chimney, $750 to tear everything out around chimney and redo.

Foundation repair - apparently roof has been leaking around the chimney for a long time, cause there was a support beam added under the floor (crawlspace), contractor says it works but isn't done properly and won't last so should be redone correctly. I'm waiting on the estimate for that but figuring 3-4k range.

So, I am going to ask for enough money back at closing (or lower purchase price) to fix the roof leak and septic ($1,300). But I'm struggling on what to do with the other two.

Do I ask for enough money to replace the A/C ($5,000), maybe some money towards replacement ($2,500), or just request they fix the A/C before closing (which I don't really want to fix since it's going to need to be replaced anyway).

And as for the foundation stuff, I'm perplexed. Like I said, what is there works but is going to need to be redone at some point. My thought is to ask for 1k or 2k towards it, but I don't know if that is realistic and I don't want to insult the seller.

My realtor is suggesting I request 100% of all the big stuff since I'm not even mentioning the little stuff, and then negotiate from there. So that's what I will probably do, it just seems like a lot to ask, especially since they agreed to such a low sales price.

[doodler]

My realtor is suggesting I request 100% of all the big stuff since I'm not even mentioning the little stuff...

Smart realtor. You can bet that there are other problems as well. You need to be willing to walk away from it.