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Nicole

Your description sounds like an addiction of some kind. Gambling or drugs (you would notice alcohol or food I guess)

With the G it was gambling.

This stuff is covert too and can cause permanent character change.

I hope you took pictures of the house in its current state.

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Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
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Might be porn too.

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Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Porn is pretty much free. Don't know how you could blow that much money.


Me: Mid 40s W : Early 40s
M:11 T:13
S, D, both 7-10
BD : 11/2017
Separation : 1/18
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Paid specialist porn and strip clubs

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Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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I was thinking of some sort of substance abuse as well. The incredible mood swings, the refusal to financially support you guys, blocking you from the house all points to something. I will be honest, I really thought WH was abusing something when he was in his Affair, I sometimes wished I could have chalked it up to that. In the end he was making those horrible choices stone cold sober. When will you know if you need surgery?


M 10yrs T 13yrs
BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW
BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off
Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce
April '17-Letting go
2018 D busted
DD8, DS6, DS3
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NicoleR Offline OP
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All, it's so hard to say all these negative things about my husband. I hope this forum will be forever anonymous, but I do believe my husband is addicted to porn and shopping. I've seen a lot of evidence of that. He also started drinking coffee two years ago and now lives on it. He literally can't go more than an hour or two without it. He was, and might still be using this "explosive energy" drink before he goes to the gym to give him a euphoric rush of caffeine while he lifts weights. I don't know about drugs but maybe I'll stop by his house again this week or next to check. Not because it would make any difference in the divorce process but maybe just to have the knowledge that there's something more happening.

There's still a chance there's another woman in the picture and he's spending money on her. Or maybe prostitutes. Who knows. I did see a bottle of doxycycline on his desk last week when I stopped by and I couldn't figure out what that could be for. I checked to see what all it treats and STD's are on the list.

My thinking about my future is changing a little. With this divorce and move happening I find myself not wanting to spend 10 or 20 years single. I'll be 40 in April and I badly want to share my life with someone. I'd be so happy to have someone with whom to go out, to call at night when my daughter goes to bed, and to possibly fall in love with. I still can't imagine that person. My husband is very handsome and smart and funny and there's no one else like him. The only person who can compare is my best male friend, who's married, but who has consistently been there for me, bought me gifts, made me feel special, and even now calls me within a half second when I text him. His wife is my other best friend. They live far away but they've been helping me a lot. My male friend is the perfect guy I guess, not my husband. Too bad he and I couldn't have fallen in love 20 years ago when we first met but we didn't see each other that way. We're just friends. I wish so badly there'd be someone else out there. I wish to fix myself to find that guy but that's going to take a long time.

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NicoleR Offline OP
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By the way, I meant to say my husband *was* very smart, handsome, funny, etc... He still is that way to everyone else, and he's still handsome and smart to me, but he's no longer an option for me so I have to say "was" instead of "is."

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NicoleR Offline OP
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Oh Sara I don't know yet about surgery. I had a gastric emptying study today. I have to have an MRA and a CT scan next week and more bloodwork. So far no one thinks I need surgery and while I kind of wished surgery would take away all the pain I guess it's too much of a gamble. I have constant upper right pain and feel convinced it's my gallbladder but the diagnosis so far is erosive gastritis and duodenitis. Can that cause upper right pain? The stomach is in the middle so it doesn't seem like it can. I don't even notice the pain as much anymore because I'm in such a state of grief over my husband but do wish there'd be a final diagnosis before I move.

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Nicole, I know you're feeling down, and I wish I could give you a big hug.

As long as you are open to the idea of finding someone else to share your life with, you will. Don't lose hope. Get yourself healthy, physically, emotionally, financially first.

I think you need to focus on YOU. You are valuable in your own right. You have tremendous self worth. When you get thru this, suitors will appear, but you have to stop worrying about finding someone else. I know it's hard, and we all miss that closeness with our spouses, but there is light at the other end of the tunnel.


M:23 T:26
Me:53, Wife: 60
S:18
D:16
filed 7/16
W moved out 4/28/17
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Nicole, I lived with gastritis for years and years. The pain was unbearable. It would come in the middle of the night and I couldn't get comfortable in any position. I could barely breathe. Without fail it would pass in about 15-20 min. I just had to outlast it.

I also had a gallbladder attack and had a golf ball sized stone removed (I still have it somewhere in a specimen container). That was an acute pain that left no doubt about what it was.

I've also had an appendicitis they thought was Crohn's. What a relief to discover it was simply the former. That was similar to the gallbladder pain, but since it was already out I knew it wasn't the culprit.

I've always been healthy except for these gut issues. No fun at all. I hope they figure it out.

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