I thought my last thread would be the final one in regards of ex-h as we did not have much contact anymore and our goal has been reached ( in regard of the children' s future). It seem like he will not stop his financial responsability until all 4 are done school. And even so, i think he will continue to help me personally unless i get involve with someone else. (Only an opinion of mine).
Ob the 23rd, ex-h took my 2 youngest out for supper. On the 24th, we were invited to join my sister for supper and play a few games. On the 25th, Son and gf brought D2's car back. They had supper with us and i drove them back to Timmins.
Eventho we had no plans until the 29th, it turned out really nice.
It was a sad Christmas for many around here. Many tragedy took place and it made us appreciate our time together even more.
A couple of my friends lost there son to suicide. Another lost his daughter to disease. A neighbour lost his garage to fire and part of his house. A teacher has been ban from teaching for personal reason ( mlcer ) while her husband is still teaching at the same establishment and trying to keep himself together for their 2 children..
It' s a small town and everyone knows everybody elses' s business but it also touches us more because they are friends.
My son wrote a very nice tribute to our family! How much we mean to him and all the progress of each one through the years gone by! They make me soooo proud!!
Well, that' s it for now! I' m excited for the 29th. Together at last!!
Hope your Christmas was filled with love, laughter, gratitude and appreciation. There is always a few moments that will be remembered in a warm and loving ways.. May you find comfort and strenght in those moments!!
Yesterday was amazing!!! A whole day with all 4 of my children and their partners!
Unfortunately, son' s gf was working at 3pm so son drove her back to Timmins and came back to have supper with us. I gave him my truck to go home last night because he has to work a 7am to 3pm and has a supper at his father' s tonight. He should be there around 5h30. I' m not sure if i will be driving him back tonight or if he will keep my truck an extra day because he is working at 7am tomorrow to. We shall see.
When all the arrangement for rides were taking place, ex- h said he would go pick up son after his shift but told the girls to go help his gf to do things over there.
Needless to say, they had no interest. Also, son did not want to rely on his dad because ex- h works under his schedule not son' s and son did not want to wait for everybody to leave before getting his ride back. Like i said, he works at 7am tomorrow.
Son was not gonna go at all if i did not figure it all out. All 4 will be going but it looks like it will be a quick visit.
Now D2 is feeling bad for me because not only will i be alone but also without a vehicule. I said: hey, i offered my car freely. I was not planning on going anywhere. I could always text Mariette to pick me up if we decide to go for a coffee. I will be fine.:)
She knows i did have plans to go out. I was gonna join son' s gf after her shift and be with her until the rest of them came back.
Last night, we also invited future SIL' s mother to join us for supper. She came. We played games and had fun.
Today, cleaning and re-organising the house. Plenty of left over so no supper to cook.. it' s an easy, slow paste but getting things done kind of day.
The kids will be heading out around 4 ( i presume, maybe even later). Ex- h has invited Kara. A daughter of his from his teenager years, our 4 kids, and probably gf' s kids. It does not seem like " little lady3' s child was invited as he claims it is not his.. i am sure i will hear about tonight when they get back. Quite the circus. I often wonder if there is more kids i do not know about? And yet, if the answer was yes, it would only repulse me even more. But in this day and age, this seem to be the norm.. and i refuse to make it my norm. I do not fit in this new era
Last edited by job; 12/30/1708:12 AM. Reason: added spaces between paragraphs
Sounds like everyone has had a good time and will be popping over to their father's place for a bit.
I'm sure you may be enjoying the slower pace today, even if it's cleaning up the house.
You sound good. Enjoy your quiet time because they'll be back before you know it! LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I will be the ride back for my son to Timmins and the ride back to my daughter to North Bay.. road trips on the horizon!! I ratter look at it this way than calling myself the taxi driver.. lol
I was right.. my 3 daughters left my house at 4pm and Son left Timmins at 4h15 to drive to ex-h' s who lives an hour and 15 min. away. They ate supper, opened gifts and were sent on their merry way at 9pm from ex- h. I was surprise to hear this. Ex- h said it was late and they should hit the road back. Kara did not show up and i do not know if gf' s kids were present.
Not much was shared with me. Son said ex-h' s gift were toys oriented. He was expecting hunting gears and came back with dragon ball Z figurines. Son and ex- h used to watch the series together way back when. Son was surprised but pleased!
We drove son back to Timmins. "We" they all came with me. We just got back and it is 1h00 AM here so i will say good night to you all.
I wish the badge would go away and the loving father would reappear. Unfortunately, he is longggg gone and lectures and intimidation is all he knows now. Totally oblivious.. piss me off. D17 came home crying because of texts from her dad. I asked if she did anything wrong.. She said No. I know she is tellung the truth. I have witnesses to her words. So i asked why she was so upset and she said Dad. I' m afraid of him. I told her to not let his intimidation get to her. In order for him to leave her alone, she should say sorry and drop it. I told her to look at the facts. She did not do anything and therefor has NO REASON to feel guilty.
Ex-h is a pro at making us feel like cr*p for no reason.
I shouldn' t have said this to her tho: " He did the same thing to me. I did not leave, i did not lie, i did not keep secrets, i did not abuse, betrayed and i was not unfaithful. He can think whatever he wants. It would be different if you were in the wrong but you are not so put it to rest. Apologize, say good night and shut off your phone."
Why did i tell her yo apologize? Because ex-h will not end anything uI wish the badge would go away and the loving father would reappear. Unfortunately, he is longggg gone and lectures and intimidation is all he knows now. Totally oblivious.. piss me offntil you put an end to it in his favor. He would go on and on and repeat himself 20 times if he has to.
Anyway. Ex-h did not contact me about anything and i did not contact him.
D17 said he wants her to go visit him next week-end. She said. yeah right! I can' t wait to leave.!!! I said" Just shut your phone off. That is where your stress come from. He does not contact me because he knows i will not allow him to falsely accuse anyone of us. NO MORE!!!! NOT EVER!!
The event that took place: friday night, D17 went to pick up D15 at her friend's house. The mother of this friend called the police and said she had been followed, not realizing that it was D17. D17 got arrested and was questioned without knowing what or who they were tslking about.
The next day, the whole thing came to light and the mother apologized to D15 and D17. (But nothing was said to the cops.) Funny right??
Except that the cop from here told ex-h about this. Now, we have him lecturing D17 and making feel guilty for something she did not do.
((exquisitetobe)) - I am glad that your kids have you to be the sane parent. I thought hard about what sort of advice I might have and I've got nothing.
I remember when my kids were young and my ex would yell at them when they did something wrong way past the necessary and until they broke down and cried. Some people don't know when to stop.
Police culture is a thing. Prior to me, my ex was OW to a cop. I remember her telling me that she had him do a background check on me. For many of them, I don't think that it is possible for them to put down the badge. It's part of who they are.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
