In the UK - pt23 - bugger me pink, I'm still here

[roist]

How is Huddy's world going?

[Huddy]

A quick visit from me.

I have an inkling that 'Mrs Huddy' may have been reading some of my posts. Nothing concrete, but sometimes when I have posted something on here, her mood, reactions change. Well, if you are reading Mrs H, you know how much I still feel about you!

Not quite sure where we are on 'the journey'. All her cosmetic surgery is now done, and appears to now be healed. The latest purchase, is a private number plate for her car. It's as if everything I said was a waste of money, she's gone and done. If you're out of the UK, you can buy number plates that mean something to you. To me, they're just a plastic plate with letters on, but Mrs H always wanted one.

I thought she'd reached rock bottom when she dropped the kids off one day crying her eyes out, saying she couldn't cope etc. I sympathised, passed her tissues etc. and listened (the lighthouse), but in 48 hours she was different again. Is that a touch and go - I don't know and maybe Job could help with that one.

I've been working a lot. More work means more money to do things with the kids. Don't want any credit cards here! Also been hitting the gym more with extra weights. Hmmm, managed to get injured though, so are is very sore this week! Less gym more beer perhaps Not interested in dating or all that right now. Of course I miss carnal adventures, but, I can't really commit to anything like that.

Weekend away at the end of the month, so that should be good. Can't think of anything else I can do to push this along. I can see some positive signs from her (eye contact, saying hello and goodbye, texting me odd things), but haven't shown any excitement - right or wrong? Not sure.

Anyway, bye for now

[bttrfly]

good to hear from you Huddy. I'd say keep focusing on your new life. It takes time, from all accounts. And, waving just in case: hi Mrs. Huddy!
xo

[roist]

Thanks for the update.

Best of luck getting over the injury.

In case your suspicion is right, why would Mrs H be spying on you after all this time. Hmm interesting

Regardless like bttrfly said focus on you. Best wishes

[ATPeace]

Hi huddy

Just thought I would drop by I am in a much better place and I can see from your posts that you are making good progress

Huddy the comments made about getting a car is this not something you could budget for something called a cheap runner for £300 sometimes less it will do the job and make your life so much easier

Will chat again soon

Take care my friend

Ghost

RD you were right on many levels

[rd500]

Hi Huddy , how's things in sunny Scotland ?

[Huddy]

Hi Rd/Ghost et al

Sunny in Scotland? Freezing cold more like! Still on the 'journey', but, putting up with les BS than before!

Had a weekend away in October (very boozy, out very late), working to bring in some Christmas pennies for the kids and then we had our Christmas night out last week. Video evidence has appeared of my dad dancing! So, still ambling along.

Mrs H is behaving oddly. I may have mentioned on another thread that she has been taking photographs of herself, almost daily. Some are clothed, some are nudes, some are simply pictures of her teeth, but in all, she has an inane smile on her face, as if she's trying to prove to herself that she's happy.

Our childcare arrangements are that I have the kids every second weekend. I always do something with them, if that be the Fireworks night, Christmas fayre - whatever, it doesn't matter. Sometimes Mrs H will ask for a picture, which I send to her on What's app. Sometimes I get a response straight back saying something like 'they look so happy', or she mixes it up by sending me a weird text, or,more often than not, radio silence.

Recently, she has been asking me to have the kids every weekend. I've been declining, as I feel this is an excuse for her to continue doing 'Replay' techniques, plus the excuses are different every time she asks. Once it was that she wanted to do things for my daughter, the next it was she wanted to get a job on Friday and Saturday nights and now it's that she's tired. I lost my temper last night and told her it was her choice that she was in this position and that I didn't want her to argue in front of the children, so I asked her to leave. She got angry about that, and stormed off - maybe that was a mistake, but I hadn't even got the coat off my back before an attack.

She has made connection via Facebook with an old friend from school days (36 years ago!) and I don't know if he has been the recipitent of the 'dodgy' photos. She has also acquired a new set of friends, much younger than her (early 30's - a good 2o years difference) and is now taking part in a burlesque dance group/keep fit class.

So, where are we? No idea. Christmas is coming up and I'm having the kids this year. I did invite her to the fireworks and Christmas Fayre and I got a 'Thanks, but I'm going out with my friends' in reply. I'm trying to be the lighthouse and be kind and supportive (she bought my son some really expensive boots, and I made great effort to praise that) and I'm tempted to ask her round for Christmas, but I'm not sure if that's a good move, as she is back to monstering behaviour again.

Stage? No idea. My best guess is somewhere towards end of Replay in to Liminality, but I don't know. She still keeps distancing our relationship as 'when we were together', and doesn't attempt any contact with me. Anyway, off to the fayre again today (different rides to try out!) and I have to get a present from Mrs H's Mum, who has sent some money to the kids, that W has asked me to spend with them. I have bought presents from the kids for her, but I think one from me wouldn't be a good idea.

Bye for now

[rd500]

Hi Huddy , good to see you post. You have been at the this for quite a while now and you have read enough on here to know that what ever ' stage ' your W is in doesnt really matter.

She has chosen a path and as we all know that's her choice. I think they do have some regrets but who knows for sure.
I think this is why this site offers the advice it does about moving forward and focusing on your life. Like your wife you have choices and if you choose to wait and see if she changes her path then all good.

We all take different amounts of time to deal with our sitches and we deal in different ways.

It's one thing to know what you need to do , another thing to do it , posting on here you sometimes get the 2 x 4s and its not nice but maybe they do help.

Anyway , great to see you post and have a great Xmas.

Take care, Rd

[Huddy]

Hi RD

Yes, you have a good Christmas too! I did give her a Christmas card (just a one that said 'Merry Christmas' on it) and asked her if she wanted to see the kids on Christmas Day, but she's still mightily pissed that I dared to say no to her the other day! Nothing like a bit of guilt projection to cleanse the soul

[Huddy]

Hope everyone had a good Christmas, and are looking forward to a Happy New Year.

Busy time here at Huddy central as I have the kids with me! We've been having a great time since Christmas Eve. I invited W over on Christmas Day, but she declined. No worries, thought it would be nice for the kids. She has called three times whilst they have been with me......and that leads in to the question!

Since September, W has been asking me to have at least one of the kids every weekend. Excuses have ranged from tiredness to wanting a job, but she asked again today. I'm in a quandary about this. On one hand, yes I'd love to see my kids every weekend (W seems to be struggling with my S who is Autistic), but I'm worried this is another MLC trick so she can spend time doing 'other' things. Then, I think to myself, is this some kind of reconnection motive. I'm confused. I did say to her that having the kids with her is what she wanted, and she replied that me having my S every weekend is what she now wanted, because he loved spending time with me. Any thoughts, people?