New LBS dealing with WW Part 2

[Vanilla]

If she is crazy, you can get a non mol or injunction.

Before you do anything get legal advice.

V

[Joe2017]

Thanks. I am talking to my attorney as soon as possible. Unfortunately that means that I have to adapt for the weekend.

Now, how am I supposed to watch out for being set up while living here with her? That puts me at too much risk, doesn't it?

I mean, it seems dangerous to me. She has made serious threats that will really mess me up if she goes through with them. It doesn't sound prudent.

I get that leaving the home shows weakness but now that I dropped the rope I'm done. I don't care about R at this point at all. I need peace of mind and safety for myself and my child.

[joejoe1]

Joe,

If you think you are in harm, get out of there. Period.

[Parkema]

Joe,

Only you know what's best for your situation, ideally staying in your home and her moving out is best BUT if your home was anything like mine then don't let ANYBODY tell you it's best to stay it just isn't.

You can STILL fight for your M from afar in fact not being there also has its benefits...

Take care.

Mark.

[Joe2017]

I can't detach from her if I am here.

She came to me for emotional support and I talked to her and told her there it's not my responsibility anymore. It could be if she wanted it to be, but that's not the way it is anymore.

This is too hard for me. I can't keep doing this. She is never going to want me again if I am here and available, yet she's unstable if I'm here but unavailable.

Her staying out all night is being enabled by me watching her boy. I can't be giving her her cake and letting her eat it too.

I'm trying so hard to apply Sandi's rules. I'm GAL. I'm doing well at work. I'm focused on my kid. I've changed old habits.

I really need to know what my best options are. Watching her go off and have a grand time with whoever until 2am is killing my heart. I'm being destroyed inside.

[joejoe1]

The best way is to detach. Let go and let your wife go on her Journey.

You cant control anothe person. The faster you realize that, the faster the healing begins. You need space! Detach helps you gain that space and she the R and M from a distance and for what it really is.

[Joe2017]

OK JoeJoe. The fact that you reconned after her A gives me so much hope. I'm going to do what I can to move out and move on. She is worth it, and I will always be here for her after she finds herself.

[neffer]

Just do not tell her that!

You can´t be part of her journey. You have to switch places. She must feel the possibility of losing you. So you must act accordingly: detach, start DB.

[Joe2017]

Right. I am planning on moving out and moving on. This is torture.

[joejoe1]

Joe,

The best advice I can give you is, the faster you get the concepts down and listen to the people on this forum especially the vets the better off you are.

A lot of new LBS, even me have to try the same old things a few extra times. It never works. You can read every thread and the results are the same. Talking never works, just actions.