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A Message from Michele
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#2771197 - 12/12/17 02:20 PM Question for MiWD re: DR, WW and dB coach??
Hermes Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/17
Posts: 203
Loc: US
Michelle,

I’m really torn here. Know what works is different in each sitch... but my wife is in a super active long term affair (multi year) that I discovered only after she told me she wanted to leave 7 months back. Half a year later she’s more detached than ever, she doesn’t ever touch me in any way, but she will talk to me (we’ve had a couple M/A talks where she shared how it started (as long as it helps me “along” her path (her words)).

All advice I’m getting on forums says follow sandis rules. DB coach is telling me that the M talks she’s opening up to me so focus on humility and putting her first...

Knowing that every sitch is different; in general What is your opinion of Wayward Walkaway Wives vs just walkaway Wives???

Is it the 37 rules posted elsewhere... or sitch dependent?

Know that nothing I’ve done has changed her Actions (no physical contact with me of any kind... she’s now “faithful” to OM with any physical affection.

Maybe my M can’t be saved (all advice on forums says put flowers on the grave and move on). But we’re not D yet and I’m still trying to improve myself and in the process understand her feelings and beyond validation actively work on valid issues she has brought up (not to save the marriage (but that would be amazing) but because my W is a person I care about deeply and I cannot continue hurting her even though she will likely leave regardless. I’ve worked hard to ensure that her final months with me are fundamentally different and better than those of the past.

I know I’m probably looking for answers that don’t even exist and there’s no “Right” answer. But what is your take on wayward walkaway Wife vs just walkaway... same or do you really need to practice “tough love” and loving detachment LRT and follow sandis rules regardless.

My DB coach keeps telling me to look at what’s worked (I just don’t know if it’s worked or she’s merely responding better BECAUSE I’m still following her end gale (she leaves me for OM and I let her with No consequences of discovery of A.

Would love to know how you perceive this.
_________________________
Me 47
STBXW 44
M ~20
D13
S15
BD mid 17
A Disc. 2 months after BD but evidence found ~2yr
OM decade older
S Imminent
D Soon after

Be the rock that can weather the storm...

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#2771198 - 12/12/17 02:21 PM Re: Question for MiWD re: DR, WW and dB coach?? [Re: Hermes]
Hermes Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/17
Posts: 203
Loc: US
I just don’t se any MWD advice on this more difficult subset of Walkaway wives. Those in A.
_________________________
Me 47
STBXW 44
M ~20
D13
S15
BD mid 17
A Disc. 2 months after BD but evidence found ~2yr
OM decade older
S Imminent
D Soon after

Be the rock that can weather the storm...

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