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#2767921 11/12/17 08:56 AM
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Previous Thread:

Oh yeah, life goes on...



Bttrfly & Job, thanks for your kind words and birthday wishes.

Xx

Last edited by job; 11/12/17 10:09 AM. Reason: added link to previous thread

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Happy Belated Birthday!

I enjoy reading about all your activities. Thanks for all the support you have so graciously given.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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Sotto, happy belated milestone birthday! I’m glad you had some great celebrations with friends and family!
Originally Posted By: Sotto
It is helpful to remember that it generally doesn't end well for the MLCer. Not that I wish XH unhappiness, but I would like to see him have some regret at some point and perhaps apologise too. I understand either may never happen and that's okay.
This resonated with me so much. I’ve been thinking about it recently, that it would be so nice to hear some kind of regret or apology from H. And I also know that I might never get it. I think his behavior towards me kind of indicates that he might be feeling some regret, but it is not enough for me.
I agree with peicetoday, that your xh’s R and his OW sound like a disaster waiting to happen. She might just find herself a new upgraded version of a guy again. If she cheated with him, he will cheat on him.

I second bttfly, it is always a pleasure to read your posts. You are a great inspiration to folks here. Take care!


M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state
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Happy belated Birthday; Sotto !

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loving the title of your new thread Sotto xoxoxoxo mwah


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Happy Belated Birthday!

I always look forward to your posts, both here and on other threads.


Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced
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I missed your birthday

Waaaaaaaaa

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Sorry I missed your birthday. xx happy belated.


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
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Another Sorry, hope you had a great birthday and life is good. Happy belated birthday Sotto xxxxx

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Thanks for the belated birthday wishes guys. Yes, I'll look back on my 50th with a grateful heart for sure. It was a great birthday and all that I wanted to be!

Time for a quick Xmas update while dinner is in the oven. Really looking forward to the festive season. I have my gold tree up with bright baubles and lights - all looks lovely. I have a little time off and will be catching up with friends and family, along with a couple of big dancing parties - should be fun..

I must admit that XH is truly in my thoughts less and less. It will be four years since our problems truly began (with BD1 and discovery of and EA or so I thought) and 3.5 years since full BD. Life truly does get better and I really don't think we ever regret putting in the work that is recommended on this forum. For me, the D process finalising was freeing and I have enjoyed moving forward from that - made some nice new friends and worked on me - and I do like me better now. I am more kind and accepting of myself and more conscious of my people pleasing ways and boundaries too. It is all a work in progress, but on a good path I think.

I'm catching up with SS and his Mum over the hols too. I always have some mixed feelings about that (what will I hear about XH) - but I am fond of SS and it is good to keep in touch. I'm interested to see how things unfold in 2018 when SS and his Mum plan to return to the US - presumably leaving XH and OW here. It's a bit of an unstable situation I think and will be interesting to see what happens.

Had a nice chat with NG the other week. He and I have a gently growing friendship I think. He initiates friendly hugs and kisses these days and makes nice comments about my appearance. A mutual friend of ours said she thinks he is intensely shy and has probably put me on a pedestal, fearing to ask me out again. But I don't know and I'm letting things gently unfold, whilst being open to other invitations too.

Work has been intense again. So much so that I cancelled some Xmas leave and had a mini crying meltdown this week (not at work, but on my own.) So, I'm regrouping, asking for what I need, carefully planning my schedule and making sure I only sign up to realistic and achievable things - that's very much a work in progress too...

Anyway - for those at an earlier stage in your journey - know that life does become peaceful and happy again and it is nice to feel in charge of your own destiny. Above all, do follow the advice to 'back burner' your errant spouse and focus on you - it does pay dividends I promise you!

Warm festive wishes to you all xxx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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