Texting is weird that way. I am not sure the etiquette either. There are times i am actually texting at work and then a patient comes in and when soneone responds it can take a while to get back.
There was no texting back in the day, so using it to get to know soneone seems to have its advantages and disadvantges.
I agree with JujuB. Texting is weird that way. I try really hard not to be that way and to always actually end a conversation but I have noticed I am the ONLY person I text with regularly who does that. My best friend, my mom, my siblings, my daughters....no one ends a convo with a goodbye or talk to you later or anything. They just stop talking when they are done. It feels kind of rude to me. Like if you are talking to someone in person, you don't just turn around and walk away after you have said what you were going to say....or at least I don't. And, most people I know don't, so I am not sure what the difference is with texting. I guess the more impersonal nature of it.
I know I keep saying this but the more of your stuff I read, the more convinced I am that we are EXTREMELY similar because I know EXACTLY how you feel in communications with bar guy right now. Been there, done that, got the battle scars to prove it. I can tell you all day long to try not to worry about it or read to much into it when he just stops texting, but I know how I feel when folks do that to me and I would still analyze it to death. So, I'll just say, I'm with you in spirit, my friend. Hang on.............................good things are coming your way!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
So, small confession. I was pretty drunk Friday. Although he thought I was totally sober. I for some reason do not have a clear memory of his face. I managed to find him online. Ummmm, he is really hot and now I am intimidated.
We were talking earlier and I asked him how long he was divorced for. he told me 3.5 years. he said he honestly thought he would be settled down again by now. I disclosed that it's been 9 years for me and then I heard nothing for a while. I joked around and said "did the 9 years still not settled down thing worry you?" He did respond honestly and in kind. He said he wondered about that a little, but it wasn't the reason he didn't respond, he was just busy.
I have never thought much of what guys must think about why it's been 9 years and I am still single. I think it throws up flags.
Just another thing to overcome.
But yeah, he's like really good-looking. Lord help me.
9 years single does not throw up any red flags. You were focused on being the best mom to your child while working and going to school. Your daughter is older now. It shows me that you have your priorities straight, and do not need someone only want someone.
Dont worry at all about what guys think ginger. You are a great catch and he would be lucky if you end up liking him.
Thank you Juju, for the compliment and bringing me back down to earth. I haven't felt this insecure and excited in a long time.
We texted a lot last night. And this morning. He sent me a pic of him because we were joking around and he said "you probably don't remember what I look like" I saw that pic and I was kind of disbelief. So far he is almost too good to be true. I am very much waiting for the other shoe to drop. We like the same things, have the same sense of humor and just click when we talk.
So we chose a place for a date. Now we just need a day. I am excited. He told me he hasn't laughed this much in a long time and it feels good. I said the same.
My anxiety is up, maybe it's excitement. I am truly trying to bring myself back down to earth.
I wouldn't worry about how long it's been since the divorce and being single. You've had a lot of balls to juggle, i.e., work, school, daughter to raise, moving and living your life. Not everyone can jump into another relationship that quickly, especially when they are living a very busy life. You have a lot to be proud of and can show others of what you've done w/your life since the divorce.
Enjoy the date. Be yourself and one thing...remember to laugh and just have a good time.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I know intellectually you are right. I have honestly never felt as insecure as I do right now. I think a part of it is fear. I think when you go for so long without you feel like something good can't be true. I have got to shake that if I really want something to work out.
KML, He really does seem to be a potentially good guy. Almost everything I asked Santa for, haha! Such a difference between him an FF. FF really did come on too strong. Barguy is communicating on a level that is just the right pace. I can tell he holds back a little, which is good!!
today is the big date. We are having a day date because he is meeting a friend tonight from high school who is town. I am nervous but I am going to go into it just like job said. I am going ot laugh and have a good time. Be myself, and if he doesn't like me for me, well, then he isn't for me.
I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving. volunteering was the best experience. I will do I every other year until D10 is old enough to join me.
Volunteering at Thanksgiving is very rewarding and I'm glad you were able to experience it. You get to meet so many people from all walks of life and for one day, you share a little bit of sunshine w/the people there. I'm sure your daughter will do just fine volunteering when she is old enough.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
How did the date go? Well, there were no fireworks but it was nice enough. We had sushi, the conversation was good, but his sense of humor doesn't completely match mine. I guessed he was an only child like me because we can just tell these things. Found out he is a kid of divorce, his parents divorced when he was 4, he spoke of like living out of two homes. His dad died in 2001 (my mom died in 2001) they were close. Small family, just like me. Told me about how he bought a townhome to be close to his daughter then his ex and new H moved 45 min away and it makes him sad because his daughter actually only has 2 overnights a month with him.
When sushi was done, there was really no place to go and I guess he wanted to to continue the date a little, and there was a deparment store across the street, and we shopped for his daughter a bit. A little weird I guess, but nice. Then our goodbye was awkward, as we were on a street corner in broad daylight. we were parked on two different streets and he said " I would walk you to your car, but my meter is going to run out" He didn't want a ticket. So we hugged goodbye and that was that.
He is a bit type A, and I am a bit type B. Which could work, but I don't know how much our persona's could match.
I have had the instant attraction/connection with exNG and FF and that didn't work out too well. There was such a level of excitement, yet comfort that I loved. with exNG, well, our connection was extremely strong, and I am realistic and I know I will probably never find one that matches it. He pretty much admits as much and he is with another woman he will probably be with forever. With FF, it was everything I wanted, I loved it, but I realize some of it might have just been a show.
So, my strong connections always ended badly for me. So I can give a slow start a chance. But honestly, am not sure how he is feeling. I think he kind of felt the same way. He is communicative, but not overly so, and if he is doing something, I won't hear from him, and he won't give the "talk to you later" he just ends a conversation in the middle of a thought.
But I did do something stupid. I left the date with that weird feeling. I just needed to know where I stood. I can't seem to stomach the wondering anymore. I simply sent a text hours later thanking him and I told him I had a good time and he said he didn as well. We joked about something,s that was that, he left a thought in the air and I haven't heard from him since.
It's my fault I guess. I was just soooo excited at the thought of the possibility of God answering my prayers. Seeing this meeting as a divine intervention. Thinking I deserved the whole package and it was finally coming around. That dreams can actually come true for me. That was dumb. But hey, atleast I had something to get excited about for a little while and I know I am not toatally dead inside or I am not that unattractive or that I won't really meet someone one day. I can take that away from it. If he asks me out again, I will go. If he doesn't then he doesn't.
I am kind of alone all weekend. I am going to go to hospice volunteer and spend a good amount of time at the gym. Maybe organize around the house. I miss my baby. This is the longest stretch of time I have had without her in a while. It's only 4 days but I miss her. Things just kind of feel empty without her.
