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What is it that you want? You talk about how badly you are treated by your W and BIL. How you are not appreciated or respected in your home.......and how it makes you angry when your W bullies you.

What do you mean you are quite happy acting like a single parent? You aren't acting single anything. You spent Saturday with the W, doing things as a family.

So again, what is it that you want? If you just want the fighting to end, then you may need to attend anger management. It doesn't necessarily take care of the other disrespect you receive at home, but it may teach you how to handle your own anger issues.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Well at this point she has been out of the house for three days. Pretty good for someone with out friends. She asked about coming back to the house today. Told her only to get more of her clothes but she wasn't staying at the house.

Finally have some semblance of a routine going with the kids. Don't want that messed up and the acting out from them is dying down. BIL still doesn't help enough but I don't need much help.

My GAL activity is now limited to phone calls / text messages and therapy. Rest of my time is spent with the kids. Up side is we have seemed to find almost every family activity there is in southern / central Nevada.

Interesting note since I took over the household chores and primary care provider for my children. House is always clean, homework is always done and they are starting to be more respectful towards me.

Starting to think maybe I don't want to be married and being a single father might be what is best for them.

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How about an update?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Sorry I have been busy lately. Did some Christmas shopping. Systematically pushing the WW out the door. Just feels like the kids and I convenience.

When she left on Thursday, I told her don't come back anymore. It isn't fair to the children or myself. So unless she has an eviction notice, restraining order or a divorce decree. She needs to stay with her new b/f.

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So she filed and I finally found out about the affair. She had been staying with her boss while she was away. Guess I hope she is happy. Just wish it didn't have to be this way.

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Just some thoughts for you:

Your wife had three affairs. No matter what her excuses, after three affairs this is on HER. (Or is it four now?) A healthy person in an unhappy marriage tries to fix the marriage, then if that doesn't work, separates and THEN dates. So she has a character issue.

Second - nonetheless, if you have a drinking problem, you can't ignore your own role in the marriage breakdown. Focus on dealing with your drinking, your kids need and deserve a healthy sober dad.

Third - if you haven't seen a doctor about vomiting blood, do so NOW. This is never an innocent symptom. If you're lucky it's just bleeding ulcers - but if so, you need to be checked for h. pylori and treated appropriately. If you're unlucky it could be esophageal varies due to chronic liver damage - very dangerous. Gastric cancer is a rarer but even more serious cause. See your doctor.

Fourth - see an attorney now to learn your rights and formulate a game plan. Document everything including how often WAS sees kids and keep a copy of any texts or emails she sends. Do not say ANYTHING to her that would look bad in divorce court.

Fifth - I'm sorry her affair has been confirmed. I know how badly that hurts - but rest assured, this does not have to be a tragedy. You may be happier in the long run. And although I hate to see a marriage break up because of the kids, I found out later that between my ex's affair and his subsequent departure years later after several years of reconciliation - that my kids had always been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Here's to a better New Year. Keep being a rock for your kids.

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So updates since the last time I was on here. I retained an attorney and divorced her. It was not what I wanted to do but seemed like the only way that I was going to get custody rights.

At the moment, while she is working the kids are staying with me on her weeks. So not much has changed. Well not true, she openly started dating her boss. Which truly confirmed what I had believed.

Earlier this month I had a mental breakdown and had to be admitted for MDD, so on Lexapro now. Turns out I actually don't have a drinking problem. Enlightening to know that I have been dealing with depression for years it seems. Funny how those things work out.

So right now I feel sad but it isn't the overwhelming sadness like before. See I still love her a great deal. Right now the kids are with me 90% of the time, even on her scheduled weeks. I am keeping a log of it though.

Someone is going to ask what I do for me. So to head it off, I take the kids on road trips, go to church and started being more involved with a local re-enactment group. Still looking for a full time therapist. Other than that work, clean the house and take care of the children.

Right now I am not sure I should be helping her watch the children during her custody weeks. I know if she loses her job it is bad for the children. By the same token it really isn't my problem. Also I don't like how she keeps getting mad at me over nothing. For instance I asked her when she got off if I was cooking dinner for the kids or not. Some how it was taken as I was accusing her, I don't have the right to talk to her that way. I kept calm and told her I was accusing her of anything. Which then when into I need to respect how much she is sacrificing for her children.

Honestly, I wonder why I bother we are divorced now. Personally, I would love to move on with my life but with the week on week off custody arrangement it is hard. Since we always have to be in contact.

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