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JJ....thanks man, I appreciate the support. I feel better about it today, heck most dad's probably wouldn't have tried. Definitely no pressure and the asphalt is fresh!

Vap...10-4 they have been at the W's this week so I reminded her about the bed linen and toys. She said she was in the process of washing. Their appt. with the professionals is at 8:30 this am so I am sure I will be some updates.

Feel good this morning, woke up around 4:30, made it to the gym at 5. Played basketball with my group of guys until about 6:30. Feel good, going to get my hair cut after work and then meeting some friends out for dinner. Life is good.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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5 in the morning basketball? WOW...

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Yeah.....you have to be dedicated! smile Our group used to be around 20 or so but as people moved away etc. we have a good core of around 12 to 15. We play at 5 am on Tuesday/Thursdays and 6 am on Saturdays. Good group of guys, no fights, etc. We have got to know each other through the years. We have probably been playing together for around 12 yrs or so. But yeah, the older I get the harder it is to get the body going that early. Usually takes me the first game to get lose.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jul 2017
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Yeh with W becoming more comfortable, like AS noted, it could be because you've removed all the pressure from her.

I am doing good. Work is picking back up and so I am getting busier. Pretty much NC with W and that's good. However, she's been taking up a lot more mental space for some reason, which is bothering me. Stupid dreams and thinking about the sitch a lot more than I'd like to. But GAL and workout plans this week kinda dropped off because I had to take the kids earlier. I am happy about some extra time with kiddos but it just kinda messed up my plans. The good thing about that though is that previously i'd get all pissed off that my plans didn't come to pass, but with me not being as controlling no more, I've just rolled with it and it's not added any stress. I just need to pick it up this weekend and kids and I are climbing on Sunday, so that should do the trick.

I just need to refocus a bit more and I know the mental real estate W is taking up will go.


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Hey M it happened to me as well. I think it's part of the process. After the initial rush of emotions had passed I found myself thinking about the W a little more and not doing as much GAL even including reading, podcasts, blogs, etc. I think once you get past the initial rush you really find out what you where doing for yourself and what you were doing to win the W back.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Quote:
I think once you get past the initial rush you really find out what you where doing for yourself and what you were doing to win the W back


Yeah, I think this is a key point. Once that initial rush passes, it becomes very easy to just revert back to whatever you were doing before. This is where I think the journey for personal growth begins because now you have to do the hard work of making changes for yourself without anyone giving you a pat on the back or noticing you.

I just had a bit of a drop off in GAL with moving to the new place and work being insane, but now that it's leveled off, I am basically just gearing up again and making concrete plans.

Making sure you keep reminding yourself that these changes are for you and there is a brighter light coming your way is so important.


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What up DB land......took today off. Had to go get myself inspected for lice. It cost $300 to get both of our D's treated and it comes with a 30 day guarantee if everyone in the family gets checked. Since I was not with the W yesterday when she got them treated I had to go in today. I had some time to burn so I figured I would just take today off and get a few other things done as well.

Woke up at 4 am hit the gym around 5:15, got a good workout in. The went and did the Lice thing followed up with a some new clothes and shoe purchases for myself and some Christmas shopping for the girls.

My texted me around 8 am this morning telling me our youngest had a meltdown in a store yesterday because of this big huge stuff tiger she wanted. She told me she was going to go this afternoon to get it. Not sure why she felt the need to tell but whatever that's cool. I informed her I was off today and since I needed to get her some things for Christmas I told her I would go pick it up. She said that was awesome. She then asked me if I could get notes for our D's at school for the lice place and also informed me I didn't need to get any additional lice solution for my hair because she got enough for the both of us. Wow, she is being so nice to me...........

I have my last IC apt for the year and will start back up after the holidays. That should be cool, not sure what I am going to talk about but I will figure something out. I kind of feel sorry for the IC's because I bet many of them never hear back from their patients on how their sitch's or issues ended up. After the IC my oldest has a soccer game at 6 pm so I will spend an hour or so with the W. Maybe I will wear the new shirt I bought today.

Any way...all for now.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9

My W texted me around 8 am this morning telling me our youngest had a meltdown in a store yesterday because of this big huge stuff tiger she wanted. She told me she was going to go this afternoon to get it.

I told her I would go pick it up.


Ummmmm, what? Rewarding a kid's meltdown is never a good idea, LOL!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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HAHA....well AS that is Santa's problem not mine! smile

Had a great weekend....played basketball on Saturday morning with my guys, did some yard work, got the xmas stuff out of the attic, went over to a friends house for a College Football Championship weekend watch party. My oldest had 2 soccer games on Saturday and she scored 2 goals and they beat a boys team 3-2. Those girls were so excited but I felt so bad for those boys, I am sure they will never forget.

Got up yesterday morning, hit the gym, went to church, watched some football, grocery shopping etc. My W dropped the girls off around 3:30 for the week. I took them and our neighbor girls to the Christmas Party at church then they had a special tree lighting ceremony as well. Me and 4 girls in the car ages ranging from 6 to 8....what an experience but I was proud to do it!

As far as the W goes same ole same ole with her continuing to be nice and more engaging. I had our girls for a few hours on Saturday so she could go to a brunch birthday party. She texted me when she was leaving the brunch and I told her the first game was over and we were going out to eat at this artisan pizza place. She then texted me back and called me a "baller" and I responded with a "You Know It". Maybe that is pursuit but I didn't give a f$uch because I am feeling confident. So little things like that are starting to happen. She is more lose, joking around a bit more, more pleasant, more engaging, etc.

I'm not saying she wants to recon but I would rather it be this way then at each other's throats.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,132
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J9,

You are a baller! Keep up the great work. Your daughters are ballers as well.


M:37 W:37
T:11 M:10
S17, S13, S10, S4
BD:06/28/17
OM confirmed 07/20/17
Recon the M 10/29/17
Working hard:2gether

Onward and forward

This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
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