I live in Texas. I would love a meet up. Holding and I met up in San Antonio. I think meet ups would benefit each of us A lot.
You are paying the bills, while your wife is not paying anything and buying her OM things for himself.
Also, she goes for a walk and then come back and have dinner with the family? This all sounds like super cake eating. Why not make dinner time while she is talking to her OM and then put all the food up and let her make her own plate. Are you doing all the cooking?
Maybe its time for you to move out. You did it before. She didn't fair well right.
You are a good man, your wife needs to feel the lost of her good man.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
It finally happened, I had my aha or breakthrough moment.i havecome to realize I cannot control anything but me. I haveeen walking around now for three days with a smile on my face, I feel better,and have accepted my situation for what it is. I worked yesterday, so we decided as a family to do thanksgiving today. I went out of my way to make it a good one and made sure the kids really enjoyed it because this may very well be the lastthamksgiving we will have as a family due to my wife’s refusal to end herA.Christmas as well. She knows how I feel about this, so there is no need to bring anything else up again. Maybe the holidays and the fact that it could be our last will help, but I doubt it. I have oddly enough been working on detachment and strangely enough find it almost relaxing. No more stressing over what she’s doing, what they are planning, is she talking to him, nothing. I find my self ignoring things that previously had me guessing or mind reading. She hasn’t facetimed him in about four days. Previously I’d have sworn up and down it was a sign from god that they were breaking up. Not so now, now I just roll on and do my thing. I got my metal detector back out and I am going to work around some old civil war era house my boss owns, pretty good hobby that I am just getting into again. I’m taking it day by day guys. Took me too long to get here,but of you helped me thru, thanks a million. Iknow the road is long but I’m going down it in a better frame of mind now.
M 51 W 46 D14 S13 M 16yrs T17yrs BD 06/25/17 OM Confirmed 06/25/17, ILYBNILWY Did Sep for 1 month, moved back in due to W Finances
I have yet to find a button joe joe. My area is full of enamel ta though. Really want a belt buckle or bayonet. I have found that once I made peace with myself it came pretty easily, so far. I have a great group of friends that are helping me along my way. That, andthe knowledge that her threats are empty and she will come out the bad side of a possible divorce now me now. I hope for the best now but have prepared for the worst. Time will tell how this goes.
M 51 W 46 D14 S13 M 16yrs T17yrs BD 06/25/17 OM Confirmed 06/25/17, ILYBNILWY Did Sep for 1 month, moved back in due to W Finances
And from what you have posted. Your W needs you more than you need her. You have been there to pick up her broken pieces. You shouldn't do that anymore. Make that laneway smooth, bit no more cleaning up her mistakes.
So I somewhat agree she might come out the outside worst off than you, but it will hurt just the same. But that's the reality of these sitchs.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Odd day . Today I woke up and felt like I just didn’t care about it anymore . I guess all the months of trying and doing the wrong thing and trying to do the right thing with no results hasworn me out. I’m not foolish enough to think this is a lasting feeling because ive felt it before. But for today I feel at peace. stl having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that she had sex toys shipped to her job, at a middle school..... did some research and found that the company sends it in a plain box, however after the sale they send flyers to the people that ordered. The fliers , however are not discreetly shipped. So since she ordered them and had them sent there the fliers will come there. For her boss and coworkers to see... I don’t think they will be well recieved and could quite possibly cost her her position there. For starters, who the hell has sex toys shipped to thier job at a middle school, and second, whydid shethinknit was ok to have our S13 ringthe package home for her? She has definatley losther mind. I wasn’t planning on going her a warning, however I did. Not for her,it was a stupid thing to do, but for the kids. It would be around the school like wildfire and they don’t need that along with everything else going on. First time Ive said anything remotely about the R in two weeks.
M 51 W 46 D14 S13 M 16yrs T17yrs BD 06/25/17 OM Confirmed 06/25/17, ILYBNILWY Did Sep for 1 month, moved back in due to W Finances
I wish I knew how to convince newcomer LBH's to work at improving themselves and GAL like crazy, fix the things they have control over, and have no expectations from their WW. It's like every guy wears himself completely out, b/c he is working so hard on the relationship. But there is no relationship! It's over. You are like a hampster running on that wheel that gets you no where.
Why don't you stop working on a MR that doesn't exsist? Why don't you start focusing on getting a life.....for real? Enjoy life apart from her. Stop watching her. It's killing you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, I have no expectations anymore. I have been doing my own thing. The reason this came up was excuse she had my son ring them home. I did check online to see how the company shipped, and that’s how I found out about the fliers. She’s doing her thing and I’m doing mine. I’ve been out doing things every day for a week. Hunting with my metal detector, helping a friend am his farm, just got back from the lake. What I should have said was I am not concerned with what she’s up to now. We talk every night at home and watch a show together , andhae dinner with the kids. Other than that and the odd grocery store trip we each do our own thing. I have finally gotten to the point where I don’t care what she’s up to. All I want to do is be a better me and press on. Life’s too short to be medicated or chasing after someone who doesn’t want you. If she comes around she comes around, if not life goes on. I have wasted 6 months trying to make hersee how wrong this is. She’ll figure it out on her own. It’s her journey, mine is now separate thanks to her. If we get back together in the future fine, if not, it will hurt but I’ll be ok.
M 51 W 46 D14 S13 M 16yrs T17yrs BD 06/25/17 OM Confirmed 06/25/17, ILYBNILWY Did Sep for 1 month, moved back in due to W Finances
I am about to hit the year mark soon. Wasted so much time trying to bring logic to a sitch that makes no sense. Always remember that and work on yourself. My W is already making mistakes and I intend on sitting back and watching her land on her face. I have improved so much since DB and always these OM don't compare to me to be honest. Not bragging, but it is simply the truth.
My W is the problem and yours is likely the same. Nothing you do will change her mind until, she hits the point where she accepts her mistakes Then she will actually see all the changes you have made. From what I have noticed and heard, feeling that harsh reality is what bring back the WS.
