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swoop Offline OP
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Here is the link to my previous thread

yesterday, was an emotional day. Lots of tears, lots of memories. I was truly sad. I got a couple texts from X's mother, just to say happy thanksgiving, touch base and say that she wants me to reach out to her more often. It was rough. Thanksgiving dinner with my siblings didn't start until well into the evening, so I had and entire day of being alone in a quiet house. However, once we were together, my feelings slightly improved. I did get a workout in. I feel that's helping as well. I can barely see an outline of my abs starting to develop! Today, I will get back on my GAL horse! I am meeting with friends for a get together. Cocktails anyone?


Me:46 Her:38
My D: 11
Her S: 8


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Swoop,

Enjoy those cocktails. Have one for me as well.


M:37 W:37
T:11 M:10
S17, S13, S10, S4
BD:06/28/17
OM confirmed 07/20/17
Recon the M 10/29/17
Working hard:2gether

Onward and forward

This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
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swoop Offline OP
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I was giving some setback information today. X and I have been split up officially for 2 months now. Apparently today she announced her engagement, to this man, who is 17 years older than she is. It's so hard for me to wrap my head around


Me:46 Her:38
My D: 11
Her S: 8


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Swoop,

I'm sorry to hear this news. Stay strong. You have a lot to look forward too. Don't let this define who you are. You are a good man.


M:37 W:37
T:11 M:10
S17, S13, S10, S4
BD:06/28/17
OM confirmed 07/20/17
Recon the M 10/29/17
Working hard:2gether

Onward and forward

This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
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Posts: 947
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swoop Offline OP
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It's been a bit since I have posted.

I still struggle from time to time, with understanding what happened and why. I know that I will most likely never have closure on this, and I have chosen to LRT to save myself and move forward, and it's been working. I think about Ex less and less everyday. A lot of the initial sting is gone. I am however, still very stuck in depression and loneliness. I am just not able to find my happiness. I know its out there, and I have been trying to bring it back into myself. I am not sure what to do with that empty/lonely feeling that I have all day, every day.......


Me:46 Her:38
My D: 11
Her S: 8


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Hi Swoop,

I wish I could give you some help but I'm kind of stuck in that low, empty dip right now. It's hard.

All I can say is when I feel myself slipping down, I try to remember the good things I have in my life...my children, my business, I watch a good film or go for a walk. I know its not a magic cure but it does help. And then I find myself laughing with the children and realise I was actually happy for a while. And those moments get longer and longer.

I hope you find something to smile about Swoop.


Me 50 H 48
S 23 S 21 D 19
Together 31 years
Married 25 years
Separated April 2009 Reconciled 2010
Separated September 2017
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Maybe you can start looking for the happiness inside of us. It is not out there, just look inside...It is hard but it is a must do


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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Hi Swoop,

I feel the same way as you do. I don't know the answer. Maybe antidepressant drugs would help for a while. Maybe just allowing time to pass. It seems like the only remedy for someone who wanted to spend their life with their partner, and who's partner left, is to find a new partner. We all obviously have to first fix what's wrong within ourselves but it's nice to think that maybe we don't have to be alone forever.

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I am in a valley too. It is a difficult thing to get through. It is so draining. Nothing makes you feel better. It's depression. Find a divorce recovery counseling group and attend the classes. That's part of what I'll be doing to cope and work through the pain.

GAL makes me feel better, too. Working out, meeting with friends, or just going to a movie with your kid. Go do stuff YOU want to do. Go do something your WW didn't like but you do.


Save yourself. Nobody is coming!
BD:11/2017
Filed:12/2017
Final: 2/2018
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Originally Posted By: NicoleR

I feel the same way as you do. I don't know the answer. Maybe antidepressant drugs would help for a while. Maybe just allowing time to pass.


I just want to say that sometimes A/D's are the answer. I thought I was doing fine after BD and handling things well. Then inexplicably, about 2 months after BD I suddenly fell into deep depression and started having extreme anxiety attacks. There was no particular trigger, it literally just started one day. I always thought depression was just having a down day or week or whatever, did not realize until then that depression is a very real illness that often requires medication to fix. My doc prescribed A/D's, it took about 2 weeks for them to kick in but once they did I started feeling like my old self again. I was on them a few months and then weaned off with the help of my doc. That was over 4 years ago and I've never had an issue with depression since. The A/D's may very well have saved my life, I was really in a dark place for a while.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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