Crap just found evidence of a girlfriend. In shock all over again. I thought he was just sleeping around, but this looks like a girlfriend. I know this was likely, but didn't see it before so could cling to my denial.
DB August 6, 2017 after 3 month separation Me: 54 H: 58 Two Teenage sons Living Separately from H Married 19 years, together 22 years Not sure if this is an MLC or WAS
Thank you Joseph, it really does help to hear from a man. Just found evidence of a girlfriend and am freaking out. My al-anon sponsor told me to pray for him and the girlfriend. Last thing I wanted to do, but did anyway. Crying sobbing, hopefully I am on the right path. Holy crap this is painful.
DB August 6, 2017 after 3 month separation Me: 54 H: 58 Two Teenage sons Living Separately from H Married 19 years, together 22 years Not sure if this is an MLC or WAS
Well I just realized the symbolism of what happened yesterday:
He dumped his garbage in my garbage bin because where he is staying is not removing garbage anymore. I go through his garbage to see what he has been up to, find evidence that hurts me, and I'm reeling.
I've got to stop looking at his garbage! Even when he dumps it in my bin.
DB August 6, 2017 after 3 month separation Me: 54 H: 58 Two Teenage sons Living Separately from H Married 19 years, together 22 years Not sure if this is an MLC or WAS
M, Try to stop snooping! I did this far too long and all it did was make me mental. I saw texts from my W to her best friends that were so hurtful about me and my family that I almost couldn't take. I found out about all the other guys(yes more than 1) that she was in contact with and all this did was keep me angry. I feel that I couldn't begin to fully detach while still engaging in this behavior, so stop! I know you want to try and wrap your head around all that is going on, it does you no good. Keep working on yourself!
Thanks Dusty! Really working on that! Thanks for being here, it really helps
DB August 6, 2017 after 3 month separation Me: 54 H: 58 Two Teenage sons Living Separately from H Married 19 years, together 22 years Not sure if this is an MLC or WAS
Oh M, that must have been painful for you to find out. Hugs.
Don't let it blow your mind off course...emotions can make us do silly things, I know that first hand! Keep DB, GAL, and be kind to yourself. Chances are he's not as happy as you think he is...or he won't be after his fog burns off and although this can be a slow process it gives us time to find the real us.
Try to have a good weekend.
Me 50 H 48 S 23 S 21 D 19 Together 31 years Married 25 years Separated April 2009 Reconciled 2010 Separated September 2017
Thank you so much Caz! I truly appreciate all the support here. What a lifeline.
DB August 6, 2017 after 3 month separation Me: 54 H: 58 Two Teenage sons Living Separately from H Married 19 years, together 22 years Not sure if this is an MLC or WAS
DB August 6, 2017 after 3 month separation Me: 54 H: 58 Two Teenage sons Living Separately from H Married 19 years, together 22 years Not sure if this is an MLC or WAS
One really great thing about this whole painful process is rediscovering how great my friends are and bonding with new friends. It's such a blessing to have these people in my life supporting me. That plus the "divorce diet" which is horrible, but I have lost over 30 pounds! Lots of silver linings through this pain and I'm trying to keep the focus on those. A sense of humor really helps too. Thank you all for being here!
DB August 6, 2017 after 3 month separation Me: 54 H: 58 Two Teenage sons Living Separately from H Married 19 years, together 22 years Not sure if this is an MLC or WAS
