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A Message from Michele
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#2766092 - 10/22/17 04:45 AM Re: What's going well? [Re: Vince H]
Bacon Offline
New Member

Registered: 10/19/17
Posts: 3
Loc: Arizona
I am very aware that she's having a relationship with somebody else. My focus is not that somebody else my focus is her. I've gradually come to realize that I have no control over her and I can only control myself. So it seems the general theme of all this is to try and detach from your wife, get your own personal life in order to solve your problems, and show her what kind of person you are.

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#2766168 - 10/23/17 01:13 AM Re: What's going well? [Re: Bacon]
Vince H Offline
Member

Registered: 07/10/14
Posts: 63
That is correct. But your focus must be on yourself not on her. What you must also accept is that she may never come back. When and if her current relationship doesn't work out she may just go on to the next guy, and the next guy after that who she is physically attracted to. In which case if you have worked on yourself maybe you will find someone who is truly worthy of your love and would never think to betray you.
_________________________
Me:39 Her:35
Daughter: 6
Married: 11
Together: 13
D-day: 5.7.14
She left: 1.26.14
Status: Separated

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#2766200 - 10/23/17 06:43 AM Re: What's going well? [Re: Vince H]
Bacon Offline
New Member

Registered: 10/19/17
Posts: 3
Loc: Arizona
Okay so I have a question for you. May 17th wedding anniversary is coming up on October 29th. I'm supposed to detach.. we are still married, what do I do?

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#2766201 - 10/23/17 07:12 AM Re: What's going well? [Re: Bacon]
Cadet Offline

Member

Registered: 11/24/09
Posts: 11547
Loc: NY
Originally Posted By: PaulD
Okay so I have a question for you. May 17th wedding anniversary is coming up on October 29th.
I'm supposed to detach.. we are still married, what do I do?

Be good to yourself and buy yourself a present.

Buying her a present is not going to help your sich.

If you post on newcomers their is a thread I post as homework called pursuit and distance.
Read it .
Then stop pursuing!
_________________________
Me-63, D31,S30

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#2766216 - 10/23/17 08:28 AM Re: What's going well? [Re: Cadet]
Vince H Offline
Member

Registered: 07/10/14
Posts: 63
Totally agree. You can't buy a person's love or affection. You'd only be making yourself look foolish. Believe me I've been there and done that. As Cadet said, treat yourself instead.
_________________________
Me:39 Her:35
Daughter: 6
Married: 11
Together: 13
D-day: 5.7.14
She left: 1.26.14
Status: Separated

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