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Merry Christmas to you all. Happy Holidays. To many of us this time is hard. Not having that family we so crave for as a whole.
I think I finally reached to point where I am content with those I have in my live. Those who want to be here.

Why would I want a broken wife killing the happy loving buzz of the season. I don't. I had an amazing Christmas with my family, friends and work colleagues.

I'll reply to the last post first then update.


Originally Posted By: job


I'm truly sorry she's still acting the way she is. I had hoped that by seeing a therapist she would be further along...but she's one stubborn lady and it may take a while, if not forever. She is missing out on so much w/her girls. Such a shame!


Hi Job, yes its the forever part I am starting to see. If I compare her to her mom the girls will have to accept her as such (and they hate their cold, narcissistic grandmother) so XW has become just that.

Originally Posted By: ciluzen

As much as it drives us crazy or looks just like bad behavior, its part of a process. And it looks to me like she might actually have a helpful therapist guiding her through the process. So, ignore (as you are) the bad behavior...don't acknowledge it. But feed the good behavior with praise and understanding. Basic dog training, really, LOL. In other words, do just what you're doing.


Hi Ciluzen. yes feed the good. And yes to the basic Dog training. Only thing is some dogs can't be taught new tricks. And since OM is there I am the last one to offer her a treat to help her learn faster. If she does move forward and truly take hold of it.. I will help. I will not block any contact from her to the girls. As you will see in my update.

Originally Posted By: Gordie
reminds me I’m not the crazy one.


Gordie, you are no where close to being crazy... you are just on Ozzys (MLC) crazy train. Next stop... Gordie 2018. You need to let W go on her ride alone.

Originally Posted By: rd500
Not worth a second thought my friend. Yes they all follow the , me , me , me script but let them.


Yes.. me me me.. well that's a word I don't respond to anymore. I met her needs as a husband and father to our girls. There is no me, myself or I in this family... family is a group living together. Loving each other. Whether it be man and wife , with kids or without, it could be with pets. Or just a good bunch of friends living under one roof. My family is intact. XW is not part of it and that's her choice.


now for a small update.. I've been away from the site because of work and some work with homeless shelters in my area. its the 5th year I collect jackets, gloves, clothes, blankets, scarves and hats for the homeless. I also added toys to abused woman's shelters this year. They usually leave abusive home with nothing so I wanted to make sure the kids they bring in with them have a little something at Christmas.

well 2 nights on the street after hours handing out this warmth and a full day delivering the rest to 3 shelters. The homeless woman's shelter was the hardest and I am going back on the 30th of December. there were 2 woman when i arrived that jumped on my boxes.. I had a full load in my jeep. Lots of jackets but only a few pairs of boots.
I was missing size 8 and especially size 9 boots. My heart broke with her disappointment. So i promised I will be back with some size 8 and 9. If I cant get them donated I'll buy them at the store.

as for XW. no news from her all Christmas. nothing to the girls. No letter or card. Nothing from the MLC grandmother( 29 months of nothing)
Just as we were driving to my parents i asked the girls. So nay news from your mom. Both said no. D17 said, I guess that's it.

I get in my parents place and sit down to a fine Guinness. and Beep Beep. A text from XW

I know you wont believe me when I tell you this. I hope you have a great Christmas and new years. my you find love and happiness . serenity and peace for 2018. kiss the girls for me . tell them I love them

I hold off. no response. I Was taking back a little because not 5 minutes before I had asked the question to the girls if they heard anything and this starts. I guess psychic abilities is added to the LBS's new skills

another text comes in.

I do miss them.

I reply. then why don't you message them directly. no need to go through me.

My mom misses them too.

that is where I lost it.. sorry but enough is enough.

your mom misses them ? she hasn't ever once reached out to them. No card , no email, no nothing. She is their grandmother and has no excuse for abandoning them. She is not in a dark place that you are as you so put it. What's her excuse.

I don't want to fight.

I have the flu.. I am very sick


This isn't a fight. It's me making conditions. If you want to talk to the girls go direct. If you want to talk to me about something about the girls or talk about your progress then go ahead. But to tell me you miss them and so does your mother. I don't want to hear it without actions.Merry Christmas

and once again silence and Peace is in the valley of MLC.

Her birthday is end of January. Last year she barked at the girls in an email saying how she has the right as a mother to do what she wants and they owe it to her. Lets see her game plan thins year.


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
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WOW! Well, from one LBS to another, may 2018 be much better for us all. I will raise a glass to you for the new year my brother.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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Wow Irish...

Holy crap... Stay strong buddy.You are doing an absolute awesome job with the girls. Keep fighting the good fight, we are all in your corner.

V

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Irish,

I am so glad to read that you and the girls had a nice Christmas holiday.

Well, what can I say? She's still wanting the attention focused on her. Communication is a two way street and it certainly doesn't appear that the communication line is broken if she can text you. Well, if the two MLCing women are missing the girls, I don't believe their fingers are broken, nor do I believe that the girls have changed the numbers or email addresses. This is so very, very sad...but that's on them. They are the ones losing out on the girls growing up and being a part of their lives.

Irish, keep up the good. You are such a good father and your girls know it.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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She has the flu. My heart pumps Robitussin. Sorry Irish. I am straight out of empathy tonight. The cold makes me cranky and it's 13 here with wind chill feels like it's 2 degrees. I have been cold all day, as my workplace isn't warm and gets worse after the sun goes down. I am not in a happy place, so that is your context for this post wink


You did very well to point out her mother isn't in crisis. Notice she had no response to that one. Perhaps she's afraid to contact the girls. Who knows.

You on the other hand are doing great!!! I love that you're working with the homeless in your area. My boss and I ran a photo studio for women and children at a local shelter so they could have family photos. It was crazy - 28 families in 90 minutes! Some of the kids were a real challenge and someone dressed as Santa so we got a lot of photos. The participants were so thrilled. The kids were adorable. I lost my heart to a few of them. It never ceases to surprise me how much more I get from volunteer work than I'm sure I ever give. Service is so very important.

I also loved what you had to say about family. I don't know when the last time was that I felt like a family with exh -- it was long before BD, that much I do know. For me, family is my pets, my son and my friends as well as parents and cousins. It transcends blood and is made up of a tightly knit group who supports and honors each other.

My friend, you have come so far. I'm terribly proud of you! xoxoxoxo
Much love and all the best for 2018. Serenity NOW ! hahhahhaha! xoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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Irish...THIS IS BEAUTIFUL, THANK YOU:

Yes.. me me me.. well that's a word I don't respond to anymore. I met her needs as a husband and father to our girls. There is no me, myself or I in this family... family is a group living together. Loving each other. Whether it be man and wife , with kids or without, it could be with pets. Or just a good bunch of friends living under one roof. My family is intact. XW is not part of it and that's her choice.

***

How you handle your xw’s crazy is exemplary.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
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Happy New year Irish, keep on being the best dad you can be and giving those girls a rock in their lives.

You are an example to us all.

Take care , Rd

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happiest of new years my friend xoxoxoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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job Offline
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Happy New Year to you and your family!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.

SBJ, cheers to you. and yes 2018 will be much better for us all. as we are looking forward. Living our lives the best we can.

Vapo. I am so happy to have you all in my corner as I am in yours.

Job, yes she has their cell phones and emails. They are on instagram and facebook., so easy to message there as its open to receive messages. She is definitely missing out.

Bttrfly, Yes the flu.. I know .. I`m sure if it wasnt that there would be another excuse for not reaching out to her own daughters.`Maybe a zombie apocalypse or something.. flu is right up there.

Gordie, you are welcome . You are on the good path too. keep your head up and Gordie 2018 is doing it right.

RD, I will continue. it`s in my DNA. love being dad.. love being a family guy.


So no news from XW... I guess she must be glad its all over.. the holidays. As for us, we had an amazing Xmas and New years.

D17 starts college this month and D15 is back to grade 10 next week. All good. As for me, Work will be busy this January.

Facebook this morning gave me a pop up. What happened on this day 3 years ago. We were all on a mexico trip. XW was with us. I had deleted her and her photos from that memory soon after BD so nothing about her showed up. Only the vacations and me and the girls.

D17 comes up stairs for breakfast today.. she says
Dad, did you see the facebook memory?

yes,great time. Loved looking at the pics again. You girls grew so much. All good?

yes , great actually. I't made me think of what mom said just before she left, about our family.

Her mom said this as she walked out the door. Sorry girls to ruin your family. That we we will no longer have the great trips and vacations.. no family outings or the last minute get-aways . Sorry girls to ruin your perfect family. But I need to think of me know. It's my time.

You know dad she was wrong.. we still had them. She just missed out.Her loss.

she gave me a hug and I made her the best breakfast .

D15, she came up after..she likes to sleep in.lol
She made no fuss about the post and simply asked.. when do I start school again? Told her the 8th and she thanked god it wasn't tomorrow then hit Netflix.

I'm very lucky with my 2 girls. It goes back to what I said the other day... family doesn't die when one pulls out..things don;t stop or end. Happiness, love and good times continue, it's what you want family to be..

hope 2018 we all are happy with our families and loved ones. Everything else is just lost time.


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
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