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A Message from Michele
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#2763855 - 09/30/17 02:59 PM Re: God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves [Re: JujuB]
kml Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/03
Posts: 13281
Quote:
You know what? I did not listen to my own advice. I ended up messaging the guy that lived close


See? I told you.

Quote:
I actually cried. Because none of these guys pulled the crap my ex did.


I remember, the first guy I dated after my ex. I was so impressed at his ordinary generosity to his adult kids, and he was so appalled at my ex's selfishness. It really helped me put my ex's behavior in perspective.

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#2764489 - 10/05/17 02:16 PM Re: God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves [Re: kml]
JujuB Offline
Member

Registered: 02/16/16
Posts: 797
I am really appalled by my ex's selfishness. I came on here filled with guilt because I felt like him walking away was my fault. Like I was this horrible wife. I am starting to regain my confidence and realize my sense of worth.

So regarding online dating, I have been texting and going out on some casual dates with a really really nice guy. He ended up living super close to me, raised his child by himself (went through a lot of similar stuff many here do, but over 10 years ago) , wrote in his profile that he is not afraid of LTR/marriage is not looking to date multiple people at once and has texted me almost everyday. He seems to want some one to spend time with. I messaged him first and he is different in that he does not seem to comment on looks or know how to flirt. But Im pretty sure he likes me.

I am taking things slow and working on building a friendship.
_________________________
M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer

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#2765133 - 10/12/17 02:35 PM Re: God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves [Re: JujuB]
JujuB Offline
Member

Registered: 02/16/16
Posts: 797
So, I am in such a good mood.

I negotiated with my attorneys. I think I could have gotten more back had I went through arbitration, but I just did'nt have it in me. And I calculated the aggravation and stress that would have put me through versus what I could possibly get back and it just wasn't worth it. I am ready to move on.

I have been going out with some one I met on line. I messaged him first and he is just so cool to hang out with. He texts me every day. He is very traditional. Wants to spend lots of time with me. No games. And he gave me flowers. It feels so nice! Im really excited.
_________________________
M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer

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#2765138 - 10/12/17 04:14 PM Re: God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves [Re: JujuB]
kml Offline
Member

Registered: 01/18/03
Posts: 13281
Yay! Glad you resolved your dispute, and glad you found a date!

He sounds great - but just one word of caution from an experienced dater - keep your Sherlock Holmes hat on. Look for clues. He may be the perfect guy - but - it's too early to tell the difference between a perfect guy and a potential scammer. Enjoy but verify.

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#2765142 - 10/12/17 04:29 PM Re: God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves [Re: kml]
25yearsmlc Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 13200
Loc: CA- now East coast
KML

like what clues? I mean, other than the obvious ones?

Sorry for the hijack
_________________________
M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H solo - ALASKA, 2006
Piece 7/07
Retrovaille-M Restored 8/08

*2016*
H Alaska Again!
Groundhog Day
I File D 10/16
OW

Don't look back, it's not where you're going

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#2765143 - 10/12/17 04:54 PM Re: God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves [Re: 25yearsmlc]
25yearsmlc Offline
Member

Registered: 04/03/06
Posts: 13200
Loc: CA- now East coast
Juju

some of your comments made me cry. When I think of things I allowed and somehow did not see

but that disappointed me deeply.

All 3 children's births were of course beautiful and I had healthy babies.

but in the background were experiences that were tainted by behavior that seems so sh1tty now.

It's like a malignant entitlement that I somehow glossed over. Honestly it's embarrassing and painful.

I met a guy in a group and we seem to be connecting. Nothing huge has happened yet but I think we will date.

ANYHOW, he offered to fix something of mine that was broken. When he asked which tools he would need, I said i wasn't sure what they're all called.

He did not mock or smirk or retract his offer. He said he'd "just bring all of them".

This^^^ struck me as so kind. Like a big deal.

Now, I don't want to take anything away from my new friend, but maybe it's just NORMAL!

Which makes me very sad about what I've put up, with and modeled for my kids.
_________________________
M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H solo - ALASKA, 2006
Piece 7/07
Retrovaille-M Restored 8/08

*2016*
H Alaska Again!
Groundhog Day
I File D 10/16
OW

Don't look back, it's not where you're going

Top
#2765212 - 10/13/17 03:38 AM Re: God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves [Re: JujuB]
Ginger1 Online
Member

Registered: 02/14/15
Posts: 1780
Originally Posted By: JujuB
So, I am in such a good mood.

I negotiated with my attorneys. I think I could have gotten more back had I went through arbitration, but I just did'nt have it in me. And I calculated the aggravation and stress that would have put me through versus what I could possibly get back and it just wasn't worth it. I am ready to move on.

I have been going out with some one I met on line. I messaged him first and he is just so cool to hang out with. He texts me every day. He is very traditional. Wants to spend lots of time with me. No games. And he gave me flowers. It feels so nice! Im really excited.


I love everything about this!!

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