My guess is that W may end telling you stuff about the A that you Don't know about. Whatever the cheater tells you, expect it to not be the complete truth. I believe this a reason why my W didn't want to go to MC with me. Because there was a chance the truth would be revealed. Your W is preparing to either give herself a ride home or spending the night elsewhere by bringing her own vehicle. She plans for you to be that pissed off
I want be pissed off. I'm prepared for whatever. If says it's over I'm prepared. I take what she says with a huge grain of salt, maybe a whole glass of salt.
She wanted the counseling, so I have prepared for it not going well.
I have committed myself to not let another person steal my joy or happiness again. It's mines and no one else's. I know I will have hard times again, but life is too short to stay unhappy no matter the situation. If she walks away, she will she happiness and joy out of me.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Registered: 11/21/00 Posts: 8334 Loc: The GREAT Pacific Northwest ********************************************************
An old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.
"My son, it is between two wolves. One is evil: anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego."
"The other is good: joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it and then asked, "Which wolf wins?"
I have started to feed the good wolf. I have stop looking at the news, since it's always negative. I have stop listening to the radio, and listening to my jazz CDs. I have stop looking at all the negative outcomes, and started focusing on the positive ones.
And what I mean when I say negative, is me being mean, resentful, on any outcome that happens. I have stated to prepare myself mentally and physically for whatever happens and enjoy my life regardless. This Sh$$ is hard, but it's very rewarding as well.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
JJ....feed the good wolf, always feed the good wolf. Your life will be more rewarding. With that said remember the good wolf when you are in your MC session today. Remember the good wolf if your W blows her top because she feels like in MC it is a safe place for her. Will you remember the good wolf then? Will you create that safe place for her to truly express how she feels without fear of your reactions? Can you listen, validate and provide empathy?
Let's see. The MC was postponed until Tuesday. I think she had some cold feet. Also, our S1 got shots the day before and he was really clingy. She felt really uncomfortable leaving him with my FIL like that. At first I was trying to make a way for us to attend, but I thought it would be a 180 for me to reschedule since she asked and not be pushy. I dont want to go into a MC session with her feeling uncomfortable and not really wanting to be there because she was worried about our S1.
She really seemed to appreciate.
We have really been talking alot lately. We have been working together around the house and with the kids. We have been laughing and smiling more around each other.
She has been freely sharing a lot of information about what she's doing.
But I'm keeping my guard up.
No arguments or talks about M or R since last weekend.
She also told me she appreciated something I did for her yesterday. First time in a long time.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
I'm glad y'all are getting along better. Her being appreciative sure is nice to hear. The first time my STBXW said something appreciative after BD, it was by text, and I literally cried. It had been a LONG TIME since she'd said anything appreciative. I started to get my hopes up, but she dropped some negative stuff on me a few days later. Not saying that's what your W will do, just be prepared. Expectations can be hard to control.
On the MC, proceed with caution. It's good you're not pressuring her. Don't go unless she's 100% willing. MC early in a sitch like this is a very tricky thing. A lot of vets advise you completely avoid MC until you are piecing. MC did not go well for me - STBXW used it as a safe place to BD.
Keep on smiling, and feed the good wolf!
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
