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J,

If a week seems too long for you have you considered changing it to a 3-4 or something different?

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L....no not yet. I don't know what it was about yesterday, I guess it was just one of those days. If I continue to feel this way then I will explore something different with the W. I will just continue to monitor my feelings. Honestly it really isn't even a full week since I see them at soccer practice during the week and games on Saturdays.

Don't know what my deal was.......I need to lock it back in.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Dude,

Don't be too hard on yourself. You are not even 5 months in yet.

I remember back in February my wife my W took the kids to California on a trip w/o me for the first time. I was enjoying my alone time for the first 5 days. Day 6 comes and I don't know what happened but I went to the floor sobbing uncontrollably for like a half hour. It literally came out of no where.

I haven't shed any tears in awhile. I am sure I will we she moves out but it will be about the kids.

I have no feelings for my wife right now. I miss the family unit and the things we all use to do together but that's it.

I talked to my wife's cousin at my daughter's football and she commented how happy I look and that my wife doesn't seem happy at all. I think the stress is starting to get to her regarding the reality of everything. Last week we were discussing the D and she said to me "you will pretty much be putting the kids on the bus every day" I said "uh no I won't, only the days I have them". She honestly thought on days she had them and she worked that I would come over her house and put them on the bus. She said "your not going to do that for me" my response was "ummmmmmmm.... no that's called marriage"

Still very delusional at this point.

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Quote:
Don't be too hard on yourself. You are not even 5 months in yet.


Thanks.....inching closer!

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I haven't shed any tears in awhile. I am sure I will we she moves out but it will be about the kids.

I have no feelings for my wife right now. I miss the family unit and the things we all use to do together but that's it.


Most of my emotions now are about the kids. I know I have feelings for my W still, they are buried deep in there though. I think I miss the family unit the most as well. I just keep telling myself that it's not the same and it doesn't do any good to live in the past. I try to stay in the moment the best I can.


Quote:
I talked to my wife's cousin at my daughter's football and she commented how happy I look and that my wife doesn't seem happy at all. I think the stress is starting to get to her regarding the reality of everything


Your D plays football????? WOW! You being happy will eat at her more than anything. That is AWESOME!!

IMO the begging, pleading, controlling, etc. all feeds into their current pumped up egos. It just gives them something to talk to their GF about and I refuse to be that guy.

Quote:

Last week we were discussing the D and she said to me "you will pretty much be putting the kids on the bus every day" I said "uh no I won't, only the days I have them". She honestly thought on days she had them and she worked that I would come over her house and put them on the bus. She said "your not going to do that for me" my response was "ummmmmmmm.... no that's called marriage"


LOL....that is great! It does sound like the reality of situation is setting in. They react solely on emotion, don't think things through then act like your supposed to carry on BAU. My W has done the same thing in a few situations.

When is your D final and when is she moving out? When are you telling the kids? Do they have any clue about whats going on?


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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LOL should have clarified she's a cheerleader.

No clue. The legal process is sooooooooooooo slow. We have agreed to pretty much everything. Accept she still thinks she is getting more support then she will be getting. That's going to be a rude awakening.

She has talked about getting an apartment but I can't see that happening until at least after Christmas.

Still holding off talking to the kids until she is ready to move out (IC suggestion). Surprisingly, they don't ask questions and we don't do anything together other then eat dinner. My daughter is young and boys are really clueless at this age.

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Ha...well, I didn't want to assume! smile

Obviously she is not in hurry, makes you wonder if she has regrets and now she feels like she can't turn back out of pride. I have read where sometimes that is the case.

I would agree with the kids, no use telling them you absolutely have to. The good news is that with you being in such a mentally good spot it will make it easier on them.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2017
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9

Obviously she is not in hurry, makes you wonder if she has regrets and now she feels like she can't turn back out of pride. I have read where sometimes that is the case.


Nah. That just leads me to believe that there is no real OM just a fantasy or he is married.

Her sister and cousin have asked her to go to IC and she has said no to both. I won't go back to the old marriage.

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Nah. That just leads me to believe that there is no real OM just a fantasy or he is married.


I feel the same way about mine even though it is early on. Either she is chasing the fantasy or he is married. IMO she truly enjoys her apartment, having a week off at a time from our children and hanging out/partying with her girlfriends.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 9,227
Likes: 309
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9
IMO she truly enjoys her apartment, having a week off at a time from our children and hanging out/partying with her girlfriends.


Yep and I get that for right now. Just like when they were younger and going out and partying all the time until they got sick of that and wanted to get married.I think AS put it best when he said taking care of kids, doing laundry and cleaning toilets isn't sexy.

The single life I am sure will be fun at first. Until the fantasy becomes a reality and they realize the pool to choose from is slim pick ems. Then money starts to get tight which puts more stress in their lives. Soon turning 50 approaches and all they want is safety and security in their life and their children home seven days a week.

In the mean time we have done all the work and finally understand relationships and have our $hit totally together and we end up meeting the woman of our dreams.

That happens all the time on here AS, Accuray, Kaizen etc. It's called karma baby!

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That happens all the time on here AS, Accuray, Kaizen etc. It's called karma baby!


LOL.....I can't wait! smile I agree, the pickens are very slim!!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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