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Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Just a bit of journaling:

Kids are at choir and will be home at 6. My W will be here at that time to pick them up for the week. I am struggling to find the strength to hold it together. My 6 yr old already told me she is going to miss me. Knowing that I won't see them but for a couple hours here and there really makes me sad tonight for some reason. I don't know how my W can find this enjoyable as I can't imagine that it is for my D's and I know it is not for me. Right now I find myself being so angry with her.

I know suck it up, act "as if" which I will, It's just so hard to imagine that this is my "new" normal and my kids have to live out of a fricken suitcase.

What mother would want to put their child through something like this and not want to work on it is beyond me.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jul 2016
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Quote:
I know suck it up, act "as if" which I will, It's just so hard to imagine that this is my "new" normal and my kids have to live out of a fricken suitcase.

What mother would want to put their child through something like this and not want to work on it is beyond me.


My WW (when I thought she was a WAS) told me she "accepted" she would only have the kids 50% of the time. At that time, I was thinking WTF...what parent would think that? Now, I know, she was driven by her ego/id/selfishness/rationalization as to do whatever to justify her choices.

Just like you're doing, be the rock for your kids

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Thanks Smithy....You are totally right, it is just hard to accept sometimes. I think my W actually enjoys having our children part time. In her mind this is the perfect set up. She can do whatever she wants and doesn't have to answer to anyone. I knew she went out of town this weekend and I didn't even ask if she had a good time. Screw that.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 4,560
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Well my W and were exchanging emails this morning over upcoming finances for our children. In one of the notes she told me she barely has enough money to pay her bills. I responded back that I understood and I am feeling the pressure as well.

I guess her lack of cash is not waking her up...........


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Feb 2017
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9
I guess her lack of cash is not waking her up...........


You do not want her to comeback because she can't afford it on her own. You only want her back because she misses you. That is the only way it works out in the long run.

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Your right...I guess I thought that might have her re-evaluate the situation, like what have I got myself into sort of thing.

Do I at least get credit for validating????


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9
Do I at least get credit for validating????


Joseph9,

You get 100 points for validating.

After we separated, my wife tried to borrow some money from me. I told her she should be asking the OM, not me. She hit the roof. She told me it was precisely because of that kind of behavior that she was divorcing me. I guess I shouldn't admit this, but I kinda-sorta enjoyed that moment.

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LOL...that is awesome! I thought I did a good job validating myself!

My W just came back and said she could pay for a portion of what we were talking about. Since our finances are separated I have no idea how much money she has or doesn't have. So if we split things 50/50 and she says she can't pay for something. I guess at that point it is my decision if I want to pay for it 100% depending on how bad I want my D's to go or have it or participate in it?


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Mar 2016
Posts: 3,952
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9
I guess at that point it is my decision if I want to pay for it 100% depending on how bad I want my D's to go or have it or participate in it?


Yeah, I always paid my share if it was something involving my sons.

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