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Link to last thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2750003&page=10

JOURNALING
My son's family party was fairly uneventful...that was a good thing. Instead of being all of the grandparents, it was only the inlaws that totally enable the Ex, so at least she was comfortable. Her father and mine were out of town, and my mom had an excuse. It was valid, but I won't go into details.

It was so weird because it felt just like things were a year and a half ago. Laughter filled the house and everyone picked on everyone. It was as if the last year hadn't happened. The only thing that brought it back to reality was that after a couple of hours she picked up her things and left. She had told my two oldest goodbye and they went back to their rooms, so my youngest and I walked her out thru the garage. As she was getting into her car, she turned and said..."I love y'all", then got into the car and drove off. What a gut punch. I know that was probably a slip of the tongue, but that was totally unnecessary. Anyway, it was weird.

On a better note, I got to practice driving with my daughter yesterday. She is so cute and looks great driving the Jeep. She said that she much rather drive with me than her mom, because of how loud and spastic her mother is when she rides. I guess I'm just the chill parent. The funny thing is...my oldest said the same thing 5 years earlier...haha!

I hope everyone has a great day.

2 Corinthians 12:9
but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
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Posts: 1,654
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Welcome to your new thread.

Ye are a great bunch of people so why wouldn't she love ye. But there are types and degrees of love between.different people. Accept it as a compliment or just as a positive and move on. Don't dissect it to determine it's inner meaning,because you will never find it.

I am glad you were able to have a normal party for your kid. Firstly it is rising above the situation and secondly it beats uneasy interactions.

Best wishes


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together
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Originally Posted By: SBJ
Link to last thread:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2750003&page=10

JOURNALING
My son's family party was fairly uneventful...that was a good thing. Instead of being all of the grandparents, it was only the inlaws that totally enable the Ex, so at least she was comfortable. Her father and mine were out of town, and my mom had an excuse. It was valid, but I won't go into details.

It was so weird because it felt just like things were a year and a half ago. Laughter filled the house and everyone picked on everyone. It was as if the last year hadn't happened. The only thing that brought it back to reality was that after a couple of hours she picked up her things and left. She had told my two oldest goodbye and they went back to their rooms, so my youngest and I walked her out thru the garage. As she was getting into her car, she turned and said..."I love y'all", then got into the car and drove off. What a gut punch. I know that was probably a slip of the tongue, but that was totally unnecessary. Anyway, it was weird.

On a better note, I got to practice driving with my daughter yesterday. She is so cute and looks great driving the Jeep. She said that she much rather drive with me than her mom, because of how loud and spastic her mother is when she rides. I guess I'm just the chill parent. The funny thing is...my oldest said the same thing 5 years earlier...haha!

I hope everyone has a great day.

2 Corinthians 12:9
but he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.


Glad you had a good time.

Are you content with being single now?

I know you don't believe in d, but now that you are, will you continue to stand?


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
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I hope and pray that all is as well as can be with all of my friends here.

Life has a funny way of pushing us and pulling us where we need to be as certain points of time. None of us has asked to be here, but for some reason we are. I know that our MLC'er spouses are lost, but for some reason, I think I was too for quite some time. Even though I have suffered for the last 18 months due to the craziness of this, I have truly begun to find me again.

Everyone here that has given advice and swung a 2x4 here and there have been awesome. I heard something on a podcast this morning where a woman said she was tired of trying to save her marriage and that it was time to save herself. That spoke loudly to me. If we all stand up and save ourselves then either way we will become better for it. As roist has said...first we must survive, then we will thrive!!!

Journaling:
A couple of weird happenings.
1. I walked the EX and the kids out to her car from a football game. She has injured herself and I wanted to make sure they got to the car OK. Once I hugged and kissed the kids goodbye she limped up to me and gave me a huge hug. She has never initiated physical contact...at least not in a long time. I have always had to be the pursuer. It totally caught me off guard.

2. I went to an inlaws Bday party the other night and had a great time. I had my oldest with me...it is cool and odd having a beer with your oldest child. I'm just saying. Anyway, I was standing at the bar talking to a lady, who I thought was the wife of the owner of the restaurant. She had a great taste in drinks and actually shared one with me...separate glasses. Anyway, my brother later tells me that he was trying to introduce us as she was not the wife of the owner...she was widowed a year ago. I know they mean well, but I don't think I'm ready for that. I'm sure we are bother still grieving in our own ways.

3. Received a package in the mail, but after opening it I realized that it was for the EX. She ordered some clothing and it was shipped here. Seems she is still trying to dress the part of a much younger woman. I guess I liked the skin showing when we were married, but now it seems excessive. Just sayin'.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 2,605
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1. Well, seems like your XW does still have occasions where she says really nice things to you, the rare hug...and good that you note it but don’t dwell on it or try to mind read. Seems like you guys are friendly but not friends right? And neither are openly involved with new partners.

2. Funny how you found each other without getting set up. If you aren’t ready now then you just aren’t. But who knows what the future holds. Seems like you conversed easily, maybe because you thought she was an unavailable married woman so you weren’t nervous about how you were coming across but just being yourself.

3. Yes, it’s all a part of their transformation. W used to look down on women who dressed like that, had plastic surgery, etc..and then...


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
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sounds like you're doing well, considering all the stuff you've gone through. I would never argue with someone who says they are not ready to jump into something new and are still grieving.

i can tell you this: i'm digging the person I'm currently dating: myself !!! wink

I know when exh would initiate it would throw me for a loop. Not so much any more, thankfully. Just accept, as you have, note it and keep living your life.

What I like most here SBJ is that you're true to yourself. You aren't pushing yourself to be in a spot that you think you should be in or anything like that. Bodes well for the future. Keep it up!
xoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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SBJ, how’s it going?


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
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SBJ Offline OP
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bttrfly & Gord...thanks for checking in on me.

bttrfly, no I'm not in a rush to be somewhere I think I should be. I guess I am comfortable being me. I don't have a need to simply have someone beside me at all hours. Maybe I am just trying to get back to who I am.

Gord, things are going well. Like I responded to you in your post, I am trying to find me again and remember what I want out of life. We get wrapped up in our wives and what we think they want for our families, that we might lose ourselves.

I know that God has a plan for us all, but sometimes we hit road bumps that throw of off of our true paths. Maybe this is our road bump that will ultimately push us where we are supposed to be....kind of like Him steering us into the proper direction. I lean on Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28. He wants the best for us and ultimately we will get there.

This is my favorite time of year...my Bday and the opening weekend of deer season. Sometimes all you need are some time in the woods with family and friends and of course some good bourbon.

“In the woods is perpetual youth. In the woods we return to faith and reason.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Oct 2016
Posts: 875
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SBJ Offline OP
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Posts: 875
Just wanted to say Happy Halloween to all of you guys and gals here.

Also please give a little love to my Astro's tonight. Hoping they can seal the deal over the Dodgers.


Me 49 W46
T25 M22
S22 D18 S13
W had EA Apr-Jul 2016
Dropped Bomb 7/9/16
ILYBINILWYA
HER DIVORCE IS FINAL...8/18/17
Dropping the rope to SURVIVE & THRIVE!!!
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 6,119
Likes: 408
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Congrats SBJ!! This Sox fan is very happy for you! xoxo


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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