Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 791
P
PsySara Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 791
Thanks guys, this weekend was enlightening. I found I just don't have it in me anymore. On the way home WH did a really petty thing, he only filled the family van's gas tank half way because he feels our nanny shouldn't be doing "extra trips" ie., her own shopping and stuff while just with the baby. I've never had a problem with this before and I don't think it's worth losing a really good child care provider. We are wealthy people and she is not, if she wants to run a few trips during the day then I have no problem with it. I told him to turn around and I would fill it all the way up and I did. At the last second WH said, "Fine, you're in charge of filling of the van for now on." I just looked at him and shook my head. I then said, "We need to talk tonight." He agreed.

So tonight's the night. I am letting him know I've consulted a lawyer and will be paying my retainer and filing as soon as they paperwork is ready. I've turned every stone and been extremely patient. This gives him a chance to get how own lawyer and we can sit down and start working through the financials and stuff. He is still the wayward, narcissistic guy who cheated on me and I don't see him changing anytime soon. So I need to do this to protect myself and really start healing. Because one thing is clear, one cannot heal when living with a remorseless cheater, it's just rug sweeping at this point.

I plan on keeping this matter-of-fact and business like. I don't care to argue or try to "make him understand" the whys. He knows the whys and if he doesn't then that's my answer. I can't force him to feel empathy or be caring person, I can just make sure I emulate this for my children and hope for the best. A small part of me is nervous but another part of me is completely and utterly exhausted. I'm just done. I'm walking away.


M 10yrs T 13yrs
BD #1Oct 2015-PA between WAH and COW
BD #2 April 2016-WH resumed PA, she broke it off
Jan 2 2017 WH says he wants divorce
April '17-Letting go
2018 D busted
DD8, DS6, DS3
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 229
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 229
I have no doubt you can handle your children and whatever the process you are going to enter, you are very strong.

I truly believe that you need to extract yourself from that mess for your own sanity. You will never be the same as the one you were before but with time you will notice that you will become stronger and wiser. Surround yourself with a good network of friends and let them help you. The next few months are going to be a roller coaster again, keep your eyes on what are your main goals and if the communication with your H is becoming tense, just let your attorney handling the communication. Be ready for him to become very nasty if you don't bend/agree, he is used to have it his way...

I believe in you.

Last edited by Cadet; 09/24/17 10:30 AM. Reason: start a new thread message

Me 52+ WH 57+
Married 20 +
Piecing since 2016 (ready to give up...)
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 13,533
Likes: 78


Me-70, D37,S36
Page 11 of 11 1 2 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard