Any Advice?

[Lovelyp]

I think here the focus shldnt not be about getting rid of the OM because that isn't the problem. The issue is your wife s weakness and her cheating. This is not to blame the cheating on your shortcomings but having unmet needs is one of the reason. When you say once that you are willing to work on needs and tell her you are willing to forgive snd work on your marriage she can think abt it and you detach. when she feels like she is loosing you and she still loves you that may force her to wake up and choose. If they feel like you are going to be waiting around and taking her bs she can continue with both the other man and you

[joejoe1]

GW,

Two people have given you advice to move her stuff to the garage. You have not commented on that. You have to take some action. GAPing, 180s, detaching is all for you. These things are not to win your spouse back. These techniques do stop her from being pushed further away.

If you are doing 180s, GALing, and detaching and using those to get your wife back it won't work. You have to do them for you.

Moving her stuff to the garage is IMO something you can do as a boundary to protect you and your son. Dont do it out of hate, do it to protect you and your son.

[gw5263]

There is nothing of hers to move to the garage..... She has clothes and shoes in the house. Everything else in the house is family items. She does not use a computer, she uses her Iphone. If i move her clothing and shoes to the garage that seems a bit much. We still have a large amount of things, hers and mine, and the kids have stuff in there as well, in boxes in the garage that were in a storage unit and moved here after we got the house. She pays for her phone plan so thats not an option.

[joejoe1]

GW,

You can move her clothes and shoes she does have in the house to the garage. You said in an earlier post that she does work from home and was in the computer room with your son and showed him a gift for the OM. Is that not the case.

What can you do to get your respect back? What can you do that lets her know that you are not ok with her actions, that's not mean but provide some boundaries?

[Tread]

GW,

Move those few items to the garage. Looking at them only messes with yiur mind in occasion. Upon moving my W stuff out of the bedroom made me feel better. It seemed if every outfit had a memory attached.

[25yearsmlc]

There is nothing of hers to move to the garage..... She has clothes and shoes in the house. Everything else in the house is family items. She does not use a computer, she uses her Iphone. If i move her clothing and shoes to the garage that seems a bit much.


I don't get the urge to move her things to the garage. What is the living situation now?

We still have a large amount of things, hers and mine, and the kids have stuff in there as well, in boxes in the garage that were in a storage unit and moved here after we got the house. She pays for her phone plan so thats not an option.

[25yearsmlc]

GW

can you add in your signature block (profile?)

your ages, the length of marriage, your children's ages, etc.?

It really helps summarize as a reminder for us, so when we comment on threads we don't confuse various posters.

Thanks.

[gw5263]

Joe Joe, She works for the school board at the middle school, not from home. We were separated for a month, but i moved back into the house becasue she could not pay any of the bills and was going broke. She does not get paid thru the summer, however she does get a lump sum check, which she blasted thru before the end of august. It is an in house Separation. We have two children, Daughter 14 and son 13. I am a 21 year Law Enforcement officer.
Some more background - Never had any issues in the M prior to this, We both were married prior to this marriage. Prior to this she nor i had been involved in any type of A. In fact, she was very anti A. She says that she got on facebook one night while upset and started talking to OM about our issues, and it went from there. He began to manipulate her and here we are.

[TBSakaJ9]

My W is a middle school teacher......go figure Teachers gone wild!

[joejoe1]

GW,

You have been leaving out a lot to this story. "You moved out and moved back in to help her with bills". Why did you move out? And was you WW having an A before you moved or moved back in?

Something is not mAking since to me in this Sitch. You don't want to move her clothes out the bedroom. Why? You had info on OM and asked if you should turn him in? Now you have backed off of that.

I don't think you have had enough of her disrespect. You will oneday. I hope you take your respect back soon. Until you get fed up and demand respect for yourself, you will stay in limbo.