Yeah. With the not pursuing and not having any actions mean anything specific, it's just so much easier for them to roll off my back. The hugs are fine, if she wants them, but I am not initiating any thing. They don't bother me or I don't feel particularly compelled to do reciprocate them.
Normally after an interaction, it left me kinda messed in the head. But yesterday, I was like - yeh, see ya! And shut the door and went back to doing what I was doing before she came. No problem.
I think being this Type A kinda personality, having a plan for myself has alleviated so much tension for me. I can just be my natural self.
Yeh Benni - feels awesome. I'm doing my thing and she's around for whatever reason and it's not a big deal.
Saw her again today because there was a school event and I was positive and chill. At the end she gave me a hug again before we went our own ways. I was laughing inside because now they seem so meaningless and I basically don't see a point with any type of physical affection.
Got home did my thing and I basically didn't even think about her for the rest of the evening. I am on the detachment train and it's taking me outta the dark clouds.
Have the kids tonight so no outside GAL, but caught up on some reading and tv shows. Got things prepped for school tomorrow and gonna head to bed soon. Totally content and chill.
I know it's going to get better from here now on no doubt. Just over a week in this house and then I am out. I can guarantee y'all that I am going to feel a million times better once I am outta here. A huge emotional burden will be off my shoulders.
On a sorta positive note - kids seem to be doing better this week. They know the schedule and they have seen how it works in action. They're still pretty emotional but I am spending a lot of quality time with them. Having a lot of chances to practice being more chill with them and we're just laughing a lot and goofing around. I used to be on my cellphone when they would eat dinner previously and I decided that no tech at dinner time - allows me to focus completely on them and talk to them and engage meaningfully. They've really liked it.
That's awesome M.....I found I felt a lot better when I saw my children looking happy. Mine adjusted pretty well and I would like to think it's because my w and I have handled this well. I love the no cell at dinner time, I was guilty of this as well and was one of my goals to be more engaged, good for you!! I purposely leave it in the car now when we go places so I am not tempted. Sounds like your doing well....keep doing your thing!
Thanks J. I am definitely feeling better about myself and the game plan.
Had a bit of a rough morning with the kiddos. I got a bit annoyed at my son for something trivial - not upset at the trivial thing but him not paying attention and doing things right. Also, D was unhappy about going to school and was crying when I dropped her.
I need to do better. So, I feel like crap about that, but I have IC next week and this is top of my agenda to start working on.
Well.....that is going to happen. My d's seem to have problems with either getting dressed, brushing teeth or even getting out of bed at times on school days. Don't beat yourself up, just realize that for someone that likes control/organization that may not happen in the morning . My only goal right now in the mornings is to make sure my kids get to school on time, if they are wearing mis-matched socks then so be it .
Just trying to check in on some people after having been on my butt for a week with strep throat/ flu. Sounds like you're doing well Maika, keep it up!
Yeah J - us Type A's beat ourselves up way way more than what others can do to us; so much self-inflicted damage lol. I need to add that to the list - stop beating myself up too much.
Thanks AS for dropping a line! Hope you feel better soon. Tis the flu season and I was under the blankets nursing one just a couple of weeks ago. I am doing great and it is thanks to awesome folks like you on here that have helped me immensely. Blood pressure has dropped
YeaYeah J - us Type A's beat ourselves up way way more than what others can do to us; so much self-inflicted damage lol. I need to add that to the list - stop beating myself up too much. h J - us Type A's beat ourselves up way way more than what others can do to us; so much self-inflicted damage lol. I need to add that to the list - stop beating myself up too much.
Your a single parent now trying to get 2 young kids out the door every morning....that is no easy task So yes, be kind to yourself. Half the time my D's are eating those hostess mini muffins and they are walking out the door!
true dat about the mornings with lil kids. I try to keep it as chill as possible and I hate rushing and kids hate the rushing. I find that if I wake up early enough and have things ready, I can relax and kids can take their time with everything.
A few good days. Saw W at kids swimming and it was fine. Going out tonight and GALing.
. My only goal right now in the mornings is to make sure my kids get to school on time, if they are wearing mis-matched socks then so be it .