I looked up and watched videos on giving out a positive vibe and whatever vibe you give off you get back.
I don't interact with my W in a negative way at all. I look her in the eyes most of the time in talk to her. She is communicating more than a few weeks ago.
But I can still tell she has a wall up. And she still is holding on too pain.
I think you have a point about finding a way to release more positive energy.
I'm going to work on that too.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Last night was a bit of a hum dinger. I really got fed up. I was ready to throw in the towel. I got out some tears and when my wife was to return home and was going to have a conversation with her about ending it all.
She told me she was tired of being with kids all day, especially our S1, because it was draining her. She was upset about this all day.
She told me I always have this and that going on. This confuses the hell out of me. Because she told me she didn't need my help a while back, she told me she needed space. I also have been helping out a lot more around the house.
So she left the house mad last night. While she was out she called me and asked me questions and was talking to me, this confused me. I just took it for what it was worth.
While she was at the store she called me and asked me did I want Popsicle, she came home and we watched it together.
My wife is very confused about her life and what she wants to do with it. She wants to go back to school, but don't push to get enrolled. She was looking for a job to move out and get her own apartment, she has stop looking. She wanted to work out to lose weight, she has barely went since BD. She wants to become a vegan. She's trying to do all these things, but with very little follow thru.
I have been encouraging her thru all of this. I'm just at my wits end of what to do in this situation other than let her go free. That seems a little messed up to me because, she is so down, but I know I can't help her.
The only real motivation she seems to have is to talk to this OM.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
My wife is very confused about her life and what she wants to do with it. She wants to go back to school, but don't push to get enrolled. She was looking for a job to move out and get her own apartment, she has stop looking. She wanted to work out to lose weight, she has barely went since BD. She wants to become a vegan. She's trying to do all these things, but with very little follow thru.
JJ.....welcome to the club. I don't have an answer for you other than they have to go on their journey. Many times they look for outside reasons for why they are not happy instead of looking inside themselves. Truthfully you probably haven't done anything wrong outside of maybe getting lazy so don't beat yourself up too much. The OM is more than likely an escape from her reality and a symptom of something she thinks is going to make her happy.
My W has actually done many things throughout the years to find herself and she was a vegan for over 10 . In the end she has always been searching for what makes her happy and at this time moving out on her own seems to be the answer for her. Truthfully I don't think she will ever find it unless she takes a look in the mirror.
You just have to let them go, set them free and take care of yourself.
Your W sounds like mine in that perspective. She acted like she couldn't do certain things around me. When in truth my W has no follow through. W is very intelligent, but just stops or never really gets started. She was bragging to her sister a few months back on how 2017 was her best year ever. But other than the A and cheating. She has accomplished nothing. She has actually gained a lot more weight.
OM is clearly her living a fantasy in her own words. But the reality is that she about to find out that with me out if the picture she still isn't accomplishing anything. While I have done so much this year without her. Eventually she'll realize that spreading her legs was her only goal. Hell she couldn't even get her own place. W got a 2 bedroom with her sister. So she has not even accomplished the goal of truly being on her own.
JoeJoe, sorry to hear about your troubles last night. Try not to get into mind reading with W. Trying to figure out her confusion will only make it harder for you.
Also, I'll be in a red polo shirt tomorrow. I saw in another thread you posted your height. You're considerably taller than me.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
. I'll find something. Thanks.
. In the end she has always been searching for what makes her happy and at this time moving out on her own seems to be the answer for her. Truthfully I don't think she will ever find it unless she takes a look in the mirror.